one plus one plus one plus two
by Bichonmom
Summary: Finished 11-27
1. parts 1 to 5

1+1+1+2=?  
  
Author: Alicia  
  
Genre: Romance/Drama/Angst  
  
Summary: Harm and Mac have to rebuild their friendship while building a family. Takes place right after "A Merry Little Christmas."  
  
Warnings: Character deaths  
  
A/N: This jumped into my head after reading a challenge posted to the shipperhm list. This isn't like what I normally write so I'm going to put this part out there to see what people think. I usually don't do sad stories but this one won't leave me alone. The entire things mapped out in my head and the next part's almost finished. I'm assuming Mac really is involved with Clay but before you get too upset remember who's writing this!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own JAG or any of the characters. I promise to put them back when I'm done playing.  
  
Porter Webb's Dining Room 0934 12/25/2003  
  
~Ring~  
  
Thank you god! Maybe there's a situation at JAG and I can get out of here. How do I get myself into these things? From feeling sorry for Clay to having breakfast with him and his mother on Christmas morning in her formal dining room. Sturgis once called me a sanctimonious prig. He should meet Porter she is the original sanctimonious prig.  
  
"I'm so sorry Clay, Mrs. Webb. I have to take this call." That said I get up from the table and head to the foyer to escape the glare Porter is throwing my way.  
  
Two minutes and fourteen seconds later I'm back and making my apologies.  
  
"Mrs. Webb, Clay, I'm so sorry. Something has come up and I have to leave. Thank you so very much for having me Mrs. Webb." I head back to the foyer to get my coat and purse from the hall closet. Clay follows me.  
  
"Sarah, what's going on? Where are you going? What are you doing? You know how important it is that you and mother get along."  
  
"Where I'm going is Bethesda. Why I'm going is because I received a direct order from my boss. As for your mother and I getting along. Get real Clay. Your mother is never going to approve of me. I'm not a socialite and I have no desire to be one. I know it's important to you that we get along though I don't know why. It's not like the relationship is going anywhere."  
  
"Sarah, you know I love you."  
  
"Clay, I don't have time for this right now. I will talk to you later but trust me when I say this relationship isn't going anywhere." That said I head out the door for my car, grateful I insisted on driving myself.  
  
I have no idea what's going on but I know it can't be good.  
  
Bethesda Naval Medical Center 1017 12/25/2003  
  
As I hurry along the hallway to the waiting area I think about the fact that I love my car. No, I really do love my car. The thing is corvettes were designed for flat, dry roads. There are very few of those in DC in December so the drive took me 41 minutes. If it were summer I could have done it in no more than 20 minutes. Of course I would have been speeding but I would have found out what was going on sooner.  
  
I take a deep breath and slow my pace as I come to the waiting area. The admiral, Coates, Sturgis, Chaplain Turner, Harm and Mattie are already there. The admiral looks up and sees me.  
  
"About time Colonel." His tone is even gruffer that usual.  
  
" Sorry, sir. I think my car found every icy patch in DC. What's going on sir?" I notice Harm hasn't moved. He's sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. Something very bad has happened.  
  
"Bud and Harriet were in an accident this morning on their way home from breakfast."  
  
"Oh my God! Are they okay?"  
  
The admiral takes a deep breath and looks like he really doesn't want to answer that question. "No, they're not. Harriet died at the scene and Bud died in surgery about 15 minutes ago."  
  
I suck in air and sway a little on my feet. Sturgis and his father each reach out and grab hold of an arm to steady me. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and ask the question I'm not sure I want answered.  
  
"What about the kids, sir?"  
  
"AJ and Jimmy are fine. They were home with Mikey. He'd suggested Bud and Harriet go out to breakfast so they could have some time just the two of them."  
  
That's not the answer I was expecting.  
  
"What do we need to do sir?"  
  
"I'm going to notify Big Bud and Harriet's parents and start making arrangements for the funerals."  
  
At this point Harm looks up and speaks for the first time.  
  
"Mikey is waiting for us before he tries to explain things to AJ."  
  
"Okay." Was that my voice? It didn't sound like me. It sounded like a squeak.  
  
Mattie looks at Harm. "I want to go with you."  
  
Harm starts to argue and Mattie cuts him off.  
  
" I might be able to help. I do have experience with losing a parent you know."  
  
Harm starts to open his mouth to argue again and this time I cut him off.  
  
"Admit it Harm, we'll probably need all the help we can get."  
  
"You're right." Harm heaves a huge sigh and stands up.  
  
"Shall we? With your permission sir."  
  
"Good Luck. I'll be there as soon as I can."  
  
The Roberts' House 1342 12/25/2003  
  
God, I need a cup of coffee. A really strong cup of coffee. Actually I'd like a glass of orange juice that's half vodka but since I can't have that I'll go with extremely strong coffee. This is definitely one of the worst days of my life.  
  
We told AJ his parents weren't coming back. I think he understands. Well if the temper tantrum he threw is any indication he understands. I check one more time to make sure Jimmy's still asleep before heading to the kitchen where Harm's fixing lunch.  
  
"Harm, what's going to happen to AJ and Jimmy? Will they end up in a foster home?"  
  
Harm looks up from where he's chopping vegetables for soup and stares at Mattie for just a minute.  
  
"I don't know what will happen to them. It'll depend on Bud and Harriet's will. I know Mac and I were named guardians for AJ but I don't know if they updated the will to include Jimmy."  
  
Mikey jumps in at this point. "I know they update their wills. Bud insisted on it. Losing his leg made him realize that anything could happen at anytime. I know they keep a copy of the will in their study but I'm not sure where."  
  
I head over to where Harm's chopping veggies and snatch a carrot. "We can look for the will later. The important thing right now is to figure out how we're going to get through the next couple of days. Or should I say get AJ through the next couple of days."  
  
Mattie looks at me. "You know speaking from experience it would probably be easier on him if he could stay in his own home."  
  
Harm, Mikey, and I all look at her. "You know Harm; this is a pretty smart kid you got here. I think she's a keeper." I'm trying to tease Harm but it sounds flat even to my ears.  
  
~Ding Dong~  
  
"I'll get it." Mikey heads out of the room to answer the door.  
  
"You know Harm one of us should probably stay here tonight to help Mikey with AJ and Jimmy."  
  
"Why don't we both stay? I'm sure Mikey will take all the help he can get. That sound okay to you Mattie?" "Fine by me."  
  
Mikey walks back into the room followed by the Admiral, Sturgis, Chaplain Turner, and Coates.  
  
"What's fine by you Mattie?" The admiral asks.  
  
"Harm was just suggest that he and Mac and I stay here tonight to help Mikey with the kids." I don't know how teenagers do that, say something polite but make it sound like they're telling you to go to hell. Mattie's whole attitude is practically screaming that she doesn't like the Admiral. Either Mattie doesn't know whom she's talking to or she doesn't care. I'd love to know which one it is.  
  
The admiral glares at Mattie and Mattie glares back. I'm beginning to understand why Harm's likes this girl.  
  
"Big Bud will be arriving tomorrow afternoon. The Sims won't be here until Saturday morning. They're currently in France and it's going to take them that long to get back. The funerals will be on Monday. Mr. Sims has requested that we not read the will until they can be here."  
  
"Harm how long until the soups ready? I'm starved. I skipped breakfast this morning." This is coming from Coates.  
  
"Not long about 20 minutes. It's a really quick and easy recipe I know."  
  
"Uncle Harm, will you make grill cheese sandwiches to go with the soup?" AJ somehow managed to wander into the room without any of us noticing.  
  
"Actually AJ, I'll make them. You want to help?" Mattie starts taking the bread and cheese out of the refrigerator. "We'll make the sandwiches and let the grown-ups talk. Okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
As Mattie and AJ get busy making sandwiches the 7 of us wander into the other room so that we can talk without worrying about what AJ hears.  
  
"How are they taking it sir?" Mikey asks as soon as we're out of earshot.  
  
"Your father is holding up okay, I think. Mr. and Mrs. Sims aren't doing to well. The reason Mr. Sims asked us to wait for the reading of the will is his wife is convinced we're going to somehow sabotage things so that none of Harriet's last wishes are honored. She also said she wants to make sure it's really what her daughter wanted and not what "he" wanted." "What?!" Chaplain Turner looks shocked.  
  
Harm just shakes his head. "You've never met Mrs. Sims, Chaplain. That does sound like something she'd say. It's hard to believe that woman gave birth to someone as sweet as Harriet." The admiral, Mikey, and I can't help chuckling a little at the comment because it's so true.  
  
Harm looks at Mikey all of a sudden. "When do you have to report back to the academy?"  
  
"Not until the second sir. I pulled weekend duty the third and fourth."  
  
"Okay, do you think it's a good idea for Mac, Mattie, and I to stay her for a couple of days?"  
  
"Definitely, I'll take all the help I can get."  
  
"Well then after lunch Mac, Mattie, and I will run home and pack what we need for at least through the weekend. Unless you have other plans Mac?"  
  
Shit. I'm supposed to go to a party are Porter's with Clay. I'll have to cancel them. This is more important. "Actually I do have plans but I'll cancel them. I need to be here and do this." Why does Harm look like I just slapped him?  
  
"You sure Mac? Mattie, Mikey, and I can handle things for a night."  
  
"I'm sure."  
  
"Uncle Harm! Lunch!" Good Lord! That boy has a set of lungs on him.  
  
Mattie probably told AJ to tell us lunch is ready. Unfortunately he's at that stage where he thinks that means screaming from where he's at rather than actually going and talking to someone. Oh, well. It gave everybody something to smile about for a minute and we all need that.  
  
Mac's Apartment Georgetown 1503 12/25/2003  
  
Okay I think that's everything I need. Now I just need to cancel my plans with Clay.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hello, Clay. I hate to do this on such short notice but I'm not going to be able to make it tonight."  
  
"Sarah, It's Christmas."  
  
"Yes, I'm well aware of that fact. Bud and Harriet were killed in a car accident this morning. I'm going to be staying at the house with the kids for a couple of days."  
  
"Nobody else can do it?"  
  
"Well sure, somebody else could do it but I want to do it. I need to do this."  
  
"But Sarah, Mother is expecting us."  
  
"Well she'll just have to understand."  
  
"Why can't Harm stay with the kids?"  
  
"Actually Harm's going to be there too."  
  
"Oh, well isn't that just cozy. Are you two going to share the master bedroom?"  
  
"Don't be an ass Clay it doesn't become you. I'll talk to you later. Oh and thank you so very much for your kind words of condolence. I'll be sure to pass them on to everybody." I hang up before he can respond. I just barely resist the urge to throw the phone across the room.  
  
Has Clayton always been this selfish? If I were dating Harm I bet he'd be more understanding. Where did that come from? I'm the one that told Harm we'd never work we both want to be in control.  
  
Okay, enough. Time to get back to the kids. Just concentrate on getting through the next few days and then you can figure out what to do about Clay. How did I end up involved with him anyway? Oh yeah, I felt guilty about what he went through for me, he was relentless in his pursuit, and I'm tired of being alone.  
  
Snap out of McKenzie and get back to AJ and Jimmy.  
  
Roberts' Kitchen 2132 12/27/2003  
  
And I thought this week couldn't get any worse. Harm and I need to talk and do some planning.  
  
Big Bud got here yesterday. He hasn't actually been that bad. He's helping with the kids and really trying to be on his best behavior. I think Mikey might have said something to him. I'm just grateful he's not adding to the stress around here.  
  
Harriet's parents go here today at 1211 and 57 seconds. The minute Mrs. Sims got Jimmy in her arms she started crying, and crying about how Harriet wasn't going to get to watch her babies grow up.  
  
Of course Jimmy starts crying because she's crying. AJ starts crying because he's not really sure why Grandma Sims is hysterical in the living room. Not to mention the fact that Harm had explained that while Bud and Harriet wouldn't be here to see him they would always be able to watch him from heaven. So of course AJ couldn't understand what Grandma meant about mommy not being able to see him and Jimmy grow up. Mattie told me later that AJ asked her if mommy really went to heaven. She told him she was positive that his mommy and daddy were in heaven with her mom and Harm's dad. AJ said that somebody better tell Grandma because she doesn't think mommy went to heaven.  
  
Mattie and Jen take AJ and Jimmy to McDonald's for awhile to get the boys away from everything. They got AJ lunch and then let him play in the play land for awhile. Harm gave them some money for lunch and so that they could take AJ shopping to get a new suit.  
  
AJ had thrown a fit about the suit but, the guys all told him it was just like them having to wear their dress uniforms. A suit was his dress uniform. Then Mattie told him that if all the guys were going to be dress up he'd look like a little kid if he wasn't in a suit. After that AJ wanted to go buy a suit but insisted Mattie had to go too. I told Harm I think we've got a little case of hero worship to deal with.  
  
Anyway once the kids were on their way, we all sat down in the study to read Bud and Harriet's will. And I do mean all of us. Harm and I, Mikey, Big Bud, Sturgis, the Admiral, and of course the Sims. Sturgis wrote the will and the Admiral has signed as a witness. I don't think either of those facts set real well with Mrs. Sims but she behaved herself.  
  
Until we got to the part about the kids. Sturgis read the part about Harm and I being named legal guardians and Bud and Harriet's wish that we raise the kids and all hell broke loose.  
  
Mrs. Sims said there was no way that her grandchildren. Her baby's babies were going to be raised by strangers. Well at that point Big Bud shot back with a remark about how Harm and I were AJ's godparents and when you compared the amount of time we'd spent with AJ compared to the amount of time the Sims had spent with him, they were the strangers. That really set Mrs. Sims off. She started yelling at Bud about how if his good for nothing son hadn't insisted on staying in the Navy after he lost his leg, Bud and Harriet would have moved to Florida and they'd still be alive.  
  
Fortunately the majority of the people in the room had a military background. The admiral yelled at everybody to stand down and surprisingly enough everybody did. Mrs. Sims started to make a comment but her husband told her to be quiet. The admiral then suggested that we finish going over the will and then everybody take some time to calm down and we'll meet again on Tuesday. Mrs. Sims looked like she wanted to argue but her husband agreed before she had the chance.  
  
We finished the will without anymore outbursts and the Sims left. Big Bud and Mickey also left. We told them they didn't have to but they said they felt the need to get out of the house for awhile. Harm game them the keys to his place and they were going to go there. They told Harm they might even stay overnight. He said that was fine. That was at 1427 and Harm and I still haven't had a chance to talk.  
  
Clay called. I told him I couldn't talk right now but by the time I got that through his skull, Jen and Mattie were back with the boys. Then we had AJ and Jimmy needing or attention and Mattie too. Then we had dinner, baths, and bedtime.  
  
I feel like today was about a week long. Harm's in talking to Mattie before she goes to bed and then he and I have to talk. I told him I'd have hot chocolate ready by the time he was done.  
  
"Hey Marine. That for me?"  
  
"Yeah." I hand him a cup and we both head for the kitchen table.  
  
"Harm, what are we going to do about Mrs. Sims?"  
  
"Wait."  
  
"Wait?"  
  
"Yeah, who knows what that letter that Harriet left for her parents says? I say we wait until Tuesday and see what she has to say."  
  
"Harm, don't you think she might have a lawyer hired by then?"  
  
"Okay good point. Know any children's advocates?"  
  
"No, You?"  
  
"Actually yeah I do. I went to school with someone who specializes in children's rights. I'll can call them tomorrow if you want?"  
  
"Tomorrow's Sunday."  
  
"I know I can call their house."  
  
"Yeah, I think it's a good idea."  
  
"Okay will do. I think I'm gonna head to bed. I'm exhausted."  
  
"Goodnight Harm. Put the baby monitor in my room. I'll take the night shift tonight."  
  
"You sure Mac?"  
  
"Positive. Goodnight Flyboy."  
  
"Goodnight Marine." Disclaimer: Not only to I not own the JAG characters, I don't own Harm's friend from law school. Law School Andie belongs to Aerogirl. Stories with Andie in them (as well as everything else by Aerogirl) can be found at aerogirl.dhs.org  
  
A/N: Not sure what the law is on this point but the assumptions I've made set up the rest of the story.  
  
JAG Headquarters 1301 12/282003  
  
It feels really strange to be in here on a Sunday and in civilian clothes. Probably should have changed into my uniform but it seemed like a lot of hassle just to come get a phone number off my rolodex.  
  
The lights are all off as I enter the bullpen. I make it to my office and find the number I need easily enough. Maybe I should go ahead and make the call from here. There's a chance by the time a get home the boys will be up from their naps.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hey Andie, it's me Harm."  
  
"Harm hon, to what do I owe the honor of a phone call at home?"  
  
"Well, I need to talk to an expert in child advocacy."  
  
"So of course you thought of me. Don't have any in the D.C. area?"  
  
"Well we do but I figured you wouldn't hang up on me for calling you at home on a Sunday."  
  
"I see your point. What ya need?"  
  
"Did I ever tell you about my godson AJ?"  
  
"Yeah, I think you did. He's about 4 or 5 right?"  
  
"Right he'll be 5 in May. Anyway his parents were killed in a car accident Christmas morning and Mac and I were named guardians of AJ and his brother Jimmy."  
  
"Oh that's a big step. So what's the problem?"  
  
"The problem is AJ's grandmother. She lost it when she found out Mac and I were named guardians. She said there's no way in hell she's going to let her grandbabies be raised by a couple of strangers. Then AJ's paternal grandpa told her that given how little time they spent with the boys they were more stranger to the kids than Mac and I." "Bet that went over real well." I snort.  
  
"Yeah, it was probably a good thing the admiral was there to restore order." I can hear Andie chuckling on the other end.  
  
"So, Grandma Sims is rich and used to get her own way and..."  
  
"And you and Mac are worried." She never was one to beat around the bush.  
  
"Well yeah. The admiral suggested everybody meet again Tuesday but Mac wanted to try and talk to somebody before than. Grandma's the type to hire a lawyer while in the car on the way to her daughter's funeral."  
  
"Sounds like a real charming lady. Assuming the will is valid, which it should be, the courts tend to honor the parents last wishes. They assume there's a reason the parents made the decision they did -"  
  
"That's a relief."  
  
"Hold on there. I'm not done. Is her husband still alive, are they together and where do they live?"  
  
"The husband's alive. They live together and they're in Florida.  
  
"Okay, then if they draw the right judge you could have a problem. A lot of judges would rather see kids go to an older couple than 2 singles who are sharing custody. The grandparents age would work against them and it would be uprooting the older boy from all that's familiar, but the fact it would basically be a two parent household and the fact they're blood relatives could be enough to over rule the parents' wishes."  
  
"What if Mac and I were living together?"  
  
"Well that would make it much more difficult. I'm not saying she still couldn't do it but it would certainly be a lot harder for her. If you can show you're providing a stable environment the court will leave them there rather than disrupt their lives anymore. If your not living together and she fights the will, a judge might just decide foster care is the best option until they can do a full investigation. If this is just grief talking on her part chances are she'd stop before she accomplished much of anything. Did any of that help?"  
  
"Actually, yeah it did. So you're saying the easiest way to keep the boys is for Mac and I to move in together?"  
  
"Probably. Look I've got to run I'm meeting a friend but I'll call you Tuesday with the number of a friend in the area that can help you."  
  
"You don't have to do that."  
  
"I know but I want to. Will you be at home?"  
  
"Nope, probably better call me on my cell."  
  
"Will do. Take care Harm."  
  
"Thanks, you too."  
  
So the best chance of Mac and I keeping the boys is for us to live together. Oh, Shit! 


	2. part 6

Roberts' House 2005 12/28/2003  
  
Something's wrong. I know something is wrong. Harm went out today while the boys were napping. He wasn't gone long but when the came back he told me we had to talk.  
  
Of course that was the point at which the boys both woke up. Between taking care of the kids and other day to day stuff we still haven't talked and it's making me very nervous.  
  
I think Harm knows I'm nervous because he handled getting both the boys to bed and convinced Mattie to go read in the room she's using here. He suggested I get a cup of tea and meet him in the family room. We both arrive at the same time.  
  
"What's wrong Mac?"  
  
"I could ask you the same thing."  
  
"Nothing's wrong Mac. I'm just thinking about some things."  
  
"Okay, then where did you go this afternoon?"  
  
"JAG, I needed to make a phone call and didn't have the number with me."  
  
"And it couldn't wait until we got back to work?" I don't believe it the squid's laughing at me!  
  
"Well Mac, considering it was a phone call you wanted me to make before the funeral, no I don't think it could have waited."  
  
"I called Andie."  
  
"Andie as in your friend from law school Andie?"  
  
"Yeah, she specializes in children's advocacy."  
  
"Okay, I think I remember you telling me that. So you called her about the boys right?"  
  
"Yeah." Maybe I should have been a dentist. Pulling teeth as got to be easier than getting this man to talk.  
  
"Harm would you just tell me what she said!"  
  
"Okay sorry Mac. She told me that we'd have a pretty good case. We're younger than the Sims and we wouldn't have to uproot the kids and we're who the parents wanted to have custody but......."  
  
"But what?"  
  
"We'd have a really strong case if we were living together."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"You heard me. Andie said that as long as we could provide a two parent home for the boys it would be extremely unlikely that any judge would uproot the boys against the parents' wishes."  
  
"But we have to be living together. Oh, my."  
  
"Yeah, otherwise the court might decide that it would be better to go with older guardians that are together even if it does violate the parents' wishes. If you think about it Mac, we'd have to be living together to make things work."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
'Can you juggle two little boys and work by yourself? Even if it's only part of the time because I have them the rest of the week. I don't think I can plus I have Mattie to think of." I'll probably never say it out loud but he's got a point.  
  
"But if we're all in the same house we could share the responsibility better than if we just shared custody. Is that what you're thinking Harm?"  
  
"Something like that."  
  
"Where would we live?"  
  
"Here, for now anyway. I think we might need to find another house that will better fight our needs. You know someplace that would give everybody there own space. We're all going to need it. Plus it might be easier on AJ if we're not in his parents' house." Again he's got a point. I wonder when he grew up.  
  
"But Harm living together?"  
  
"It's the best way Mac. Unless you don't want the boys."  
  
"NO! I do. I just need some time to process this."  
  
"I can understand that. Just realize you don't have a lot of time. We're going to have to talk about this tomorrow so we can be ready to meet with the Sims on Tuesday."  
  
"I know. I think I'm going to go soak in a hot bath and then go to bed."  
  
"Okay, good night Mac."  
  
"Good night Harm."  
  
"Harm?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Do your really think we can do this?"  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Be a family; you, me, Mattie, AJ and Jimmy."  
  
"Yeah, I do." 


	3. part 7

Roberts' Front Yard 0601 hours 12/29/2003  
  
It's still dark out as I do my warm up stretching in preparation of my morning run. I don't usually run on Monday mornings but I find I need to burn off some energy and do some thinking so, after leaving Harm and note here I am.  
  
I start off down the sidewalk at a gentle pace. I really want to go all out but I know better, that would be a good way to get injured.  
  
Can Harm and I do this? Can we live together and make a family for ourselves and 3 kids who have nobody? Yes, AJ and Jimmy have their grandparents but there are reasons why Bud and Harriet didn't name any of them guardian. I really don't want to think about what the boys would grow up like if they had to go live with the Sims. I think Mikey would do okay with the boys but he'd have to give up the academy to do it and I don't want that to happen.  
  
I think Harm can raise the kids. He's changed so much this year, I've just really began to notice it but he has changed a lot. He didn't argue with the admiral when the admiral said all those things in June. He just left. He didn't expect things to be the same when he came back. Yeah, he's made some really nasty comments to me but in reality, I probably had them coming.  
  
I couldn't tell him I was happy he was back. I've thrown Clay in his face every chance I've had. When we were working together on investigations I made unilateral decisions regarding disposition of charges. I've been mad at Harm for not fighting for me but hell, I am the one who said never. If a male officer had continued pursuit of a female after being told no in the way I told Harm no, I'd have them up on charges. Yet I'm mad at Harm for backing off. What the hell is wrong with me?  
  
Why are words so important to me? I know Harm loves me, he's shown it in millions of ways. Am I with Harm? No, I'm with Clay. Clay who has all of the warmth of a seasick crocodile but can say all the right things at the right time. It's easier to be with someone who says he love me but doesn't show it. Harm shows it and it scares the hell out of me. When I was a kid the actions in my house were violent. Joe would come home drunk, beat my mother and I and then when he was sober he'd cry and apologize and promise never to do it again. My mother always believed him. She always told me if I was a better daughter and she a better wife he wouldn't hit us. Right, if Joe were a better man he wouldn't have hit us.  
  
Growing up like that you'd think I'd trust actions over words, but I don't. Maybe it's because I keep expecting Harm to say something to try and negate his actions but he never does, never has. He doesn't say anything. Which maybe as bad as doing what Joe did, because what my mind can conjure up is always worse than reality.  
  
I want to make this family work. I need to tell Harm that I agree we should move in together and then I need to apologize for the way I've treated him. I know he cares for me. I know he loved me at one time. I know I love him. We'll just have to see if we can get past our problems and make this family work. I hope so.  
  
With a new resolve I turn back towards the house. I need to talk to Harm. I also need to make a date with Clay. I need to end things. Clay and I would never work. I'm only with him to avoid being alone and because it's easier then working on fixing things with Harm. Well if Harm and I are going to be living together I need to work on fixing things with him. I'm not sure we'll ever be lovers but I'm going to do my best to make sure we're best friends again. I can't do that if I'm still seeing Clay, it's like rubbing salt in Harm's wounds from Paraguay. He gave up everything for me and I said thank you by dating Clay.  
  
As I check my internal clock I realize it should be about time for the boys to be getting up. I need to get back so that I can help get them fed and ready for today. I also need to talk to Harm as soon as I can. 


	4. part 8

A/N: I was going to write the funeral but I decided that would just be way to depressing for me. I thought I'd leave the major angsty stuff for the queen of angst, Siamese Cat. For those of you who like angst and haven't read her stuff it can be found at:  
  
Excellent stuff but I warn you, take the Kleenex icons seriously. She is the queen of tearjerkers.  
  
Roberts' House 2035 hours 12/29/2003  
  
This has been one of the longest days of my life. AJ was so confused about the funeral and of course Mrs. Sims didn't help any by again losing control in front of him. She dragged him up to the coffins and told him his mommy and daddy were in there.  
  
I really think she wanted to get him upset so she could show what a great grandparent she was by comforting him and making him feel better. Unfortunately for her, he went straight to Mattie and refused to leave her side the rest of the day. Mattie didn't seem to mind but it drove Grandma nuts.  
  
Jimmy was fussy all day. I'm sure it was just because he was picking up on the emotions around him. Harm or I had to hold him all day. He wouldn't go to anyone else. He was a little bit better for Mikey but wailed like a banshee for Mrs. Sims.  
  
Big Bud was actually a godsend. AJ refused to go near the graves at the cemetery. Mr. and Mrs. Sims were trying to force the issue and Bud jumped in before Harm could lose his temper and suggested that AJ and Mattie walk around the cemetery and play in the snow. Everybody agreed with that plan so quickly that the Sims couldn't say a word.  
  
After the cemetery there was the luncheon of course. That's one thing that as always bothered me. Why do we feel the need to feed people and have almost a party after a funeral. Of course Harm and I had to take shifts eating and walking around because we had to hold Jimmy and try and keep an eye on AJ and Mattie at the same time. So if the luncheon was meant to relax us, it didn't work. Also nobody thought about the eating habits of little boys when planning this thing, so we had to get Jen to make a run to McDonald's for AJ's lunch.  
  
Guess who went to boarding school with Mrs. Sims? Porter Webb. She was at the funeral and made a point of asking me within earshot of almost everybody how Harm and I were going to manage to take care of 3 children, our careers and separate lives. I just smiled and told her that Harm and I were planning on moving in together so I didn't think it would be that difficult.  
  
Of course that was the first Harm knew of my decision but he did an excellent job of hiding it. Bud and Mikey said they thought that sounded like a wonderful idea. The admiral offered us a week off to get things organized. Mrs. Sims almost choked on her chicken. Unfortunately it was only almost.  
  
"What are you smilin' about Marine?"  
  
"Just thinking about the look on Mrs. Sims face when she found out we were going to be living together." Harm chuckles.  
  
"I'd pay good money for a picture of that. You couldn't of warned me though?"  
  
"Sorry about that."  
  
"I doubt that. I bet you enjoyed watching me try to swallow my surprise without dropping Jimmy."  
  
"Well, it was kinda fun."  
  
"So, were you serious?"  
  
"Yeah, I was. You know this isn't going to be easy."  
  
"If it was, it wouldn't be worth doing. I know it's going to be a lot of work Mac but I want this. I hope you want it too."  
  
"I do. I just need you to realize that I'm going to need some time." Harm looks like he's going to say something so I hold up my hand to stop him. "Let me finish." He nods  
  
"I've done a pretty good job of screwing up my life lately and it's going to take me awhile to fix it. I'm not just talking about Clay. I did a pretty good job of destroying our friendship and my friendship with Sturgis. I need to work on getting both of those back. I don't like myself very much right now and it's going to take some work before I do. I want this. I'm willing to do the work but I need you to be patient with me."  
  
"I'll do what I can Mac."  
  
"That's all I can ask. Now I don't know about you but I really need some sleep before we meet with the Sims tomorrow."  
  
"You're not alone. Goodnight Marine."  
  
"Night Squid." 


	5. part 9

A/N Sorry this took so long. I had trouble with this chapter. Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas.  
  
Roberts' Dining Room 1301 Hours 12/30/2003  
  
Wow. Now I know what people mean when they say the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Everybody's here for the meeting except the Sims. We're all just sitting and waiting to see what happens. Even Chaplain Turner came. I'm not sure if he's here to help act as a mediator or provide last rights if this doesn't go well.  
  
~Ding Dong~  
  
And to think I thought everybody was tense before. Harm starts to go answer the door and the chaplain stops him and goes instead. Probably a good idea, this way the fighting can't start before everyone's seated.  
  
Within minutes Chaplain Turner is back with Mr. and Mrs. Sims. They find a seat and we all just look at each other for a minute like we're afraid to say anything for fear of breaking the peace.  
  
"Porter told me that the two of you are planning on moving in together. Is this true?"  
  
"Yes, it is. Mac and I both agree it would be best for everyone if we were all under one roof."  
  
"And where were you planning on living?"  
  
"Well we were hoping to live here at least for a little while." Harm's being so calm about this. It's almost like he's questioning a reluctant witness.  
  
"What do you mean, at least for a little while?" I think that's the first thing I've heard Mr. Sims say since Saturday. I decide I'll take this question.  
  
"Harm and I were thinking it might be better if we found a place that was ours. This way were not coming in and taking over Bud and Harriet's house. It will be better for us and probably better for AJ. The thing is neither of our apartments are large enough to accommodate 5 people, even if two of them are under the age of 5." Mr. Sims kind of chuckles at that.  
  
"Actually Colonel Mackenzie I think it's because of the boys' ages not in spite of. I think the smaller they are the more stuff they require." Everyone's chuckling at that remark when Mrs. Sims suddenly gets up and leaves the room.  
  
"Mr. Sims, should you go after her?"  
  
"I will in a minute admiral. I should tell you that my wife did speak to a lawyer last night. I'm not sure what the lawyer said to her but between the two of us we have managed to convince her not to go for custody at this time. I think the lawyer's argument was that she needed to do some work to improve her chances in court. My argument was that I couldn't help because of some health issues I'm having at the moment."  
  
"Are you okay, sir?" Mikey asks this question. I'm sure he's worried about AJ losing somebody else in his life.  
  
"I should be fine. It's just going to take some time and effort on my part. Thank you for asking. Colonel, Commander, I can't promise you much but I can promise you I will work on my wife and getting her to accept Harriet's decision. I understand why we weren't named guardians, frankly the boys would tire us out. I can't promise you that Lydia won't try to get custody and won't make things difficult for you. I can promise that I'll help in whatever way I can."  
  
"Thank you. That means a lot to us." Harm and I both respond.  
  
"I'm going to go check on Lydia now. We aren't planning on leaving until the end of the week. Would it be possible for us to come see the boys and maybe take AJ out for a little while?"  
  
"I don't see why not. Why don't you give us a call sometime tomorrow?" If he can be civil I can be civil.  
  
Chaplain Turner and the Admiral both stand up and offer to walk Mr. Sims out. As soon as he leaves we all breathe a sigh of relief.  
  
"Is it just me or did that go much better than anyone hoped it would?"  
  
"It's not you Mikey. That went better than I dared to hope and being a preacher's kid I was raised to be an optimist."  
  
Well that certainly explains why Sturgis can be so irritatingly cheery at times. 


	6. part 10

A/N: One thing everybody needs to keep in mind during this part is that I don't like Webb. I have never really liked Webb. My dislike of Webb influences how I write him. So consider this your warning that if you're a Webbie that you might not like this part.  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned JAG Clay would have stayed dead in "Webb of Lies."  
  
Citronelle Restaurant 3000 M St. NW 12/30/2003 2025 hours  
  
No sooner had the Sims left than Clay called me on my cell. He wanted to get together this afternoon. I declined but he pushed the issue because he's going out of the country on assignment tomorrow and won't be back for at least a month.  
  
After talking to Harm for a few minutes I called Clay back and agreed to meet him for dinner. I told him I wanted a quiet evening someplace where we could talk. I'm thinking take-out at my place or his. What do I get? I get a four star restaurant in the lobby of a hotel that's packed to the gills with holiday travelers.  
  
I couldn't believe Harm was so understanding. I asked him about it and he said he figured that Porter probably hadn't waited until the limo was out of the driveway to call Clay and tell him we were moving in together. He said if that was the case he figured Clay and I had a lot to work out. He's right but I'm still shocked he was so understanding. Harm's been doing that a lot lately, shocking me.  
  
The maitre'd shows me to a table where Clay is already seated and has been for awhile, if his drink is any indication. Clay stands up to pull out my chair and kiss me on the cheek.  
  
"Sarah, I'm so glad we could have dinner before I had to leave. I hope you don't mind but I took the liberty of ordering for you. Have things settled down? Are you back at your apartment yet?" I do mind him ordering for me and I've told him that repeatedly. That's probably not important. I get the impression he hasn't talked to Porter.  
  
"No, I'm not back in my apartment yet. Clay have you talked to your mother recently?"  
  
"She called me yesterday but I was out. We haven't managed to connect. Why?"  
  
"She was at the funeral and she found out some information that I thought she would have told you." Clay looks very confused.  
  
"What sort of information?"  
  
"Bud and Harriet's will named Harm and I guardians of the boys. We're going to move in together and share custody and responsibility." Now Clay looks really shocked but surprisingly enough he didn't choke on his drink.  
  
"You're going to what?"  
  
"Harm and I are going to move in together and raise the boys and Mattie."  
  
"What about us?"  
  
"What about us? There's no reason we can't continue to be friends."  
  
"Is that all we are Sarah? I thought we were building something here."  
  
"There's no reason we can't continue to see each other."  
  
"Sarah, I'm not going to share you with a couple of kids that aren't mine or yours."  
  
"Well I'm sorry you feel that way Clay. Bud and Harriet trusted me enough to name me guardian of the boys and I'm not going to let them down."  
  
"What about your life Sarah?"  
  
"What about my life? This is something I want to do. I've always wanted kids. I'm not sure I understand what the problem is Clay. It's not like Harm and I are going to be sharing a bed or anything. We are just going to live under the same roof for now to make things easier for everybody." I really don't understand what's going on with him.  
  
"You don't see what the problem is!" At this point the waiter arrives with our meal. I wonder what Clay ordered for me. Oh, the duck. Yippee! Not. Clay waits for the waiter to leave before speaking.  
  
"Let me explain what the problem is to you. I love you Sarah. I want to marry you at some point. I do not want my wife raising somebody else's kids. Yes I would like to have a child. Notice I said a child as in one. My wife will be a stay at home mom and a volunteer and important member of the community." Okay now I'm pissed. Why do I pick these men who want to plan my life without telling me about it!  
  
"Clayton listen to me because I'm only going to say this once. I do care for you, a lot. You might even be able to call it love. Is it the marrying kind of love? I don't know. I do know that you and I would never work out. There are several reason we would never work out. The first being I want children. Notice my use of the plural. I have always wanted more than one child. I have no intention of giving up my career. Might I change directions and intensity? Yes, I probably will but I will always be a practicing lawyer. The third reason we wouldn't work out is I never heard you say anything about your job. I will not parent with somebody who's gone for months at a time and can't talk about what he does. If I wanted to be a single parent I would have gone to a sperm bank! The most important reason why we would never work out is you don't consult me about what I want. I've tried to change for other men and be what they wanted me to be and it made me miserable. I won't do it again!"  
  
"I don't want you to change Sarah. I do consult you about our plans."  
  
"You think you consult me. Let's look at it from my point of view. I wanted a quiet Christmas at home. I was thinking snuggled up by the fire in my pajamas while watching A Christmas Carol or some other sappy movie after attending church. What did I get? Well I had to go to church by myself and then I had to get dressed up and spend the evening at your mother's with a bunch of high society mucky-mucks. Then I spend the night in a guest room that's been decorated within an inch of it's life and have a formal breakfast the next morning. My idea of a Christmas breakfast is sweet rolls while opening presents. Then you tell me that you want to marry me but only want one child and you're wife WILL be a stay at home mom. Yet you don't want to change me? Right! Also you keep ordering my food for me. Don't trust me to make my own decisions Clay?"  
  
"No, I'm just trying to be a gentleman."  
  
"Well a gentleman would at least ask the lady what she wants. Let me tell you something Clay, I don't like duck. Clay I don't think we should see each other any more."  
  
"Sarah after everything I went through for you in Paraguay....."  
  
"Oh, no, no, no. You are not going to guilt trip me again. Yes, you were tortured for me in Paraguay and I feel for what you went through. However, you made that choice. Also you were the one who planned the mission without telling me everything. It's your fault we were in that position in the first place. I will not let you use that to guilt me into continuing the relationship. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go home to my children."  
  
I get up and leave without looking back. That was the hardest thing I've ever done but my heart feels lighter than it has in 6 months. 


	7. part 11

A/N: This chapter is leading into other chapter so not a lot of action here. Yes, you are going to get some Harm/Mac romance but give me time. Okay?  
  
JAG Headquarters 0855 Hours 01/06/2004  
  
Even though I just got here I head for the break room and a cup of coffee. The past few days have been hectic but well worth it.  
  
After my break up with Clay I went back to the house. Harm had put the boys to bed and he and Mattie were watching a movie. I put on lounge pants and a t-shirt and joined them. Harm ordered me Chinese take-out after Mattie heard my stomach growling. He didn't say a word he just gave me the food and sat back down to watch the movie. Mattie did make a crack about she thought you were supposed t eat when you went on a dinner date. Harm told her that if I wanted to talk about it I would.  
  
New Year's Eve was spent at the house. We watched movies and played with the kids. We watched Monsters Inc. and Finding Nemo with AJ and The Two Towers and Matrix Reloaded while the boys were sleeping. Harm, Mattie and I stayed up until midnight and toasted the new year with hot cocoa.  
  
The rest of our time was spent getting things set up for Harm and I to return to work. We both had to retrieve items from our apartment. We're also making arrangements to move our things out.  
  
Mr. Sims came over to talk to us Sunday. He said he understands that we need to make the house ours and that we have to move some of Bud and Harriet's things out. He said if we'd make arrangements to have things packed up and moved he would pay for whatever we needed moved out to be put in storage until people were able to deal with going through things and deciding what to keep for the boys and what to get rid of. He told us he'd rather to that than try to go through things before everyone could handle it. Harm and I both agreed that this was probably the best plan.  
  
I'm going shopping after work today. AJ won't let anybody sleep in his parents' room. That makes things kind of crowded in the rest of the house. Mattie suggested that we paint the room and put up new curtains. She said that she had to do that in her mom's room before she could handle being in there. So I'm going to go find paint and curtains after work and we'll do that this weekend.  
  
Since neither Harm or I want to sleep in that bedroom Mattie said she will. She's going to go out to her house and get her bedding set from there to add to the room. She says by the time we're done it won't look like Bud and Harriet's room.  
  
The Sims are still in town and Mr. Sims offered to take AJ for a couple of hours this weekend while we get all this accomplished.  
  
Harm also called his mom and grandma. They're a little shocked to say the least but very supportive. Trish offered to come out and help with the boys if we need it. Grandma Sarah wants us to bring everybody up for a visit as soon as we can.  
  
Harm promised her we would but said it might take a while. We have to get living arrangements taken care of and a whole laundry list of things. Not to mention the fact we're now 2 lawyers down at headquarters plus an office manager. The admiral said he'll do what he can to get us some help but this is the Navy and it could take a some time.  
  
The admiral is really trying to be helpful. When I called this morning and said I was going to be late because I was having problems getting AJ ready he just told me to report as soon as I could. AJ had a temper tantrum this morning when we tried to get him ready to go to the sitter's this morning. Harm offered to stay and help but he had court so I told him I'd handle it.  
  
Luckily for me Harm took Jimmy with him and dropped him off and Mattie caught the bus to school. I took me over an hour to get AJ calmed down and to the sitter's but I did it. I'm actually kind of proud of myself.  
  
I'm leaving the break room and headed for Mount Paperwork in my office when I notice Jen Coates headed my direction.  
  
"Ma'am the admiral wanted to see you as soon as you made it in."  
  
"Thanks Coates. I'll be right there." I put my cup of coffee on my desk and head for the admiral's office. I barely have time to come to attention before the admiral is motioning for me to have a seat.  
  
"How was your morning Colonel?"  
  
"Eventful sir. I had some difficulty getting AJ to the sitter and then once I got him there he didn't want me to leave. The sitter said some separation anxiety is normal after what happened. She told me not to worry about it. It'll get easier over time. She said if he wasn't having problems she'd worry."  
  
"And are you and the Commander getting along alright?"  
  
"Yes, sir he's been very patient and understand. He's trying very hard."  
  
"I noticed that. I'm glad you two are getting things under control on the home front. Now I'm working on getting some additional help here at JAG but it's going to take some time. I will do what I can to make sure that one of you is in town at all times but no promises, so you and Rabb might want to talk about backup plans."  
  
"Yes, sir! We will sir."  
  
"Good. Now I do need one of you to go down to Norfolk tomorrow on an investigation. It can be handled by either one of you. Here's the file. I want to two of you to decide who's going and who's going to stay here with the kids and let me know by 1700. Dismissed."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
On the way out of the admiral's office I stop by and ask Coates to let me know when Admiral Morris recesses the court. With Harm's office being where it is now I don't always see him and we need to make plans for tomorrow. She assures me she will and I head to my office, paperwork, and coffee. The first thing I do is email Harm letting him know I made it in and that we need to talk. Then I tackle the paperwork that I didn't get do before Christmas.  
  
It's going to be a busy day. I need to stay focused if I want to get out of here in time to go pick up the kids. One of us will have to be out of here by 1745 in order to make it to the sitter's by 1800. Thankfully Harriet chose a sitter close to headquarters. 


	8. part 12

A/N: Okay I'm operating on the assumption that Paraguay and the fallout from that mess caused some changes in Harm. I'm also operating on the assumption that part of the reason Mac said never in Paraguay was that she didn't think he'd ever change. She's starting to learn different.  
  
Roberts' Living Room 2235 Hours 01/07/2004  
  
I close up the file I'm working on and stick it back in my briefcase. I'm nowhere near done but I'm too tired to keep my eyes open any longer. I really hope Harm makes it back before morning. I don't think I can handle everybody all by myself again tomorrow.  
  
Harm and I decided he should take the case in Norfolk. The thought was that since I got AJ yesterday he'd be expecting it today. It didn't work out that way. AJ was even worse than the yesterday. He yelled, screamed, and ran from me when I tried to get him ready to go. Harm couldn't even take Jimmy for me because he had to leave for Norfolk at 0600 to try and beat traffic.  
  
It took me two hours to get AJ to the sitter and then when I took Jimmy out of his car seat to hand him to the sitter he spit up on my uniform. I had a spare uniform but I still had to take the time to change before going into JAG.  
  
It was 0915 before I made it into the office and I was supposed to be in court at 0900. Captain Sebring was actually quite understanding. He did say if in 6 months I showed up late for court I'd better not use the boys as an excuse.  
  
Court did not go well. Of course part of that was the fact my client was guilty and too stupid to plea bargain. Then I had depositions and other paperwork. I didn't make it out of work in 1750 and had to speed to get to the sitter's on time.  
  
Then back to the house where I discovered that I was missing at least one ingredient for everything I could cook for dinner. So finally we decided to order pizza which showed up 20 minutes late and cold.  
  
The AJ fought me on the bath and going to bed. Mattie needed help with her Math homework. Which I might have been able to give faster if I had Harm's engineering degree. Then when I finally get a chance to sit down and work when Jimmy wakes up.  
  
I'm heading upstairs when I hear the key in the door. I turn to greet Harm as he come in the door.  
  
"Hey you made it back." "Yep, just barely though."  
  
"Hungry? There's some leftover pizza. It's just cheese not veggie."  
  
"Sounds good. You guys order out?"  
  
"Yeah, come on. I'll tell you about it while you eat."  
  
So I proceed to tell Harm all about my day while he has some dinner. I finish my story right as he finishes his dinner.  
  
"Harm, I'm not sure we can do this."  
  
"What, raise the boys?"  
  
"Yeah, I mean look at me. I'm not exactly mom material. I can't even get AJ to the sitter on time!"  
  
"Mac, it's only been two days. Most moms have 6 weeks or more to get use to being a mom. You've had what, a week? Not only that but during that week, you've had to bury 2 friends, deal with Lydia Sims, start planning a move, and you broke up with your boyfriend."  
  
"I never said Clay and I broke up."  
  
"Yeah, sorry assumption on my part."  
  
"Based on what?"  
  
"The fact you left your dinner date before dinner."  
  
"Okay so you know me too well."  
  
"Nah, just better than most."  
  
"But seriously Harm things were worse with AJ today than yesterday. If this keeps up what's Friday going to be like? Not to mention were short handed at JAG yet we can't put in 12-15 hour days and take care of the kids too." Harm just looks at me for a minute.  
  
"I don't know but I do have a plan."  
  
"Okay, and the plan is.."  
  
"First I'm going to take the baby monitor tonight. You get a good night's sleep and go into work early. I'll take the boys into the sitter. I'm also going to call my mom and see if she can come out and stay for a week or two until we get a better handle on things."  
  
"Harm! Where will she sleep?"  
  
"In my room. You and I can share Mac."  
  
"Mattie! What are you doing up."  
  
"I got up to get a drink of water and heard you two talking. I just wanted to tell Harm hi."  
  
"Hello, Mattie." Harm gives Mattie a hug.  
  
"I was serious Harm. Your mom can have my room and I'll sleep in with Mac."  
  
"We have to get your room set up first, Mattie."  
  
"But we will."  
  
"We'll talk about it later. Go back to bed."  
  
"Okay, good night Harm. Good night Mac." As soon as we hear Mattie head back upstairs Harm turns back to our conversation.  
  
"What do you think Mac? I know my mom would love to come spend time with the boys and Mattie. As for where she'd sleep, she can either take Mattie's room or she might decide to go to a hotel."  
  
"Harm that's expensive!"  
  
"So she can afford it. Look just let me call her and see what she thinks about coming out here. Most new moms have their mother around to help out while they get used to things."  
  
"Yeah, well we'd have to find mine first."  
  
"No need to. I'll loan you mine." I chuckle at that. He does have a point. If I'd had a normal childhood with normal parents I'd probably have my mom come help out for a while.  
  
"Okay, Harm go ahead and give her a call."  
  
"Will do. Now you get to bed. You look like you need the sleep. I'll clean up down here."  
  
"Thanks Harm. Good night."  
  
"Good night Mac."  
  
I head upstairs to the guest room that I'm currently sharing with Mattie. After a quick detour to the bathroom I crawl into bed. Even though I'm exhausted I can't help laying awake and thinking. Harm is so different. He's calm, he's caring and he's thoughtful. He's not what I've come to expect at all. 


	9. Part 13

_A/N: Okay, I've killed off Bud and Harriet. So assuming they still haven't replaced Singer JAG is now short two attorneys and some office help. So I'm bringing in another attorney. I hope everybody will like my choice._

  


_Disclaimer: If I owned them the show would look a lot different!_

  


JAG Headquarters

0800 hours

01/26/2004 

  


As I pull into the parking lot I can't help but think how quickly things can change. Six weeks ago I was a single woman dating a very wealthy and chivalrous CIA agent. A month ago two of my closest friends were killed and I was named a guardian of their two boys. Three weeks ago I was trying to figure out how I ever thought I could live with Harm and help raise AJ and Jimmy, as well as Harm's ward Mattie. 

  


Then Harm suggested we see if his mom would come out and stay with us for a while. I really didn't see what a difference it could possibly make but agreed anyway. Boy was I wrong! Trish agreed to come stay and arrived that Friday. She has been a great help.

  


She helped us redo Bud and Harriet's bedroom so that it didn't look so much like their room. The result was AJ became much calmer about someone being in that room. Mattie moved into the room that weekend, which means that we're no longer sharing a room.

  


For the next week Trish would come over at 7:00 a.m. every morning and stay so that Harm and I could get to work without having to worry about any temper tantrums on his part. She'd fix AJ breakfast and then take the boys to the sitter. She divided the rest of the time between the house, my apartment and Harm's. She arranged to have Bud and Harriet's stuff packed up and moved into the storage unit that Harriet's father rented. She then arranged to have Harm's and my stuff packed up so that it can be moved into the house. 

  


This was a huge amount of help. Things have been so busy at JAG that if we'd had to move our things ourselves, it still wouldn't be done! The admiral keeps saying he's working on getting us some help but so far no extra bodies have reported for duty. He has however, managed to keep one of us in town at all times. Unfortunately more often than not it's only one of us!

  


The second weekend she was here; Trish took me car shopping. I tried to argue with her that I didn't need a new car but she quite accurately pointed out that neither of the boys should be riding in my 'vette. She also pointed out that at least Harm had the SUV which would seat four and was safe for the boys. Mattie jumped in at this point and said but there were five of us so somebody needed a car that would seat five, unless we wanted to waste gas by taking two cars everywhere. I tried to get Harm to back me up but he just laughed and said he was quite sure we were outnumbered. 

  


So Trish and I went car shopping. Trish offered to buy the car out right but finally agreed just to make the down payment and allow me to finance the rest. I ended up with a Chrysler Pacifica and I'm sure I got a much better deal than anyone else who's ever shopped at that dealership. With Trish making the down payment and Frank's connections getting me a good deal I have payments I can easily afford and I got to keep the 'vette too. 

  
  


The next week Trish still came over at 7:00 a.m. every day but she helped us get AJ and Jimmy ready and either Harm or I took them to the sitter. We'd gone grocery shopping over the weekend and while I couldn't understand some of the things Trish suggested we buy, I learned quickly.

  


Trish put out AJ's clothes the night before so that he could dress himself in the morning. It was amazing how much of a difference this made in his attitude. AJ would get up in the morning and with Trish supervising and helping as needed he'd get dressed and then go down to the kitchen and get a juice box and a granola bar or other healthy snack from a drawer she'd stocked in the kitchen. 

  


She didn't even try and feed him breakfast. When I asked about that she just laughed. She'd talked to the sitter and found out that she feeds the kids breakfast about 8:30 a.m. every morning. I'd just assumed I had to feed AJ in the morning before I him in because that's what Harriet did. Turns out Harried did that because she was paying the hourly rate and breakfast wasn't included with that. Harm and I are paying the weekly rate and that includes breakfast. 

  


Bud and Harriet paid the hourly rate because they didn't need a full-time sitter, since Harriet was a reservist. Since Harm and I are both active duty we need a full-time sitter. The sitter knew this and just moved the boys to the weekly rate. The sitter didn't even think about the fact we wouldn't know that breakfast was included in the rate.

  


I asked her how she knew all these tricks to get AJ ready in the morning. Did she do something similar when Harm was little? She told me that she'd talked to Frank's secretary, who was a single mom for many years. I just shook my head and said I wished I'd thought of that.

  


Trish is still here. She comes over every morning and helps AJ get ready. She then stays and is working on getting the house set up for Harm and me. She's painted the guest room and the den. After the furniture was moved out of the den, she had Harm's bedroom set moved in. She then did the same thing in the guest bedroom so that it's now my room. She's gradually going through the house and changing it from Bud and Harriet's to ours. She's doing a wonderful job of walking the line between making the house ours and honoring the memory of the boys' parents.

  


She's been a godsend in that respect. As the house gradually changes, AJ behavior improves. Trish said that's what she'd thought would happen. She said that she had some of the problems with Harm after his dad was shot down. Things got much better once they moved out of base housing. Of course moving Harm away from everything he knew created another set of behaviors but it wasn't like Trish had any choice. 

  


Trish is planning on staying for another week or so. She's going to take Mattie up to Blacksburg over the weekend and they're going to see what needs to be done to get her house ready to rent. Mattie's not sure she can pack everything up to put it in storage but she has agreed that trying to rent out the house is the best way to make the mortgage payments. Trish suggested that she go with Mattie and Mattie can tell her what needs to be packed up and she'll have movers do it. There's still room in the storage unit that Mr. Sims rented. He's agreeable to Mattie's stuff going there for now. 

  


Harm's going to pick Mattie up Sunday and Trish will stay out the house until everything's taken care of. We talked with Mattie's dad and he agrees with the plan. He's not staying at the house because it's to far from his job but he agrees that it would be wrong to sell it if Mattie's not ready. Mattie was quite shocked that he agreed and that he agreed to come get his things when she's not there. 

  


As I drop my briefcase in my office I wonder if we're actually going to get the new lawyer that the Admiral promised would be reporting for duty this morning. Well I guess I'll find out soon enough. It's time for staff call.

  


"Good Morning Sturgis."

  


"Morning Colonel."

  


"Have a seat people." The next 27 minutes and 10 seconds were spent on the admiral dividing up new cases. I can't help put notice I've gotten more cases to deal with than either Harm or Sturgis. Of course many of the cases are ones that would normally go to a junior attorney if we weren't short two junior attorneys. Though neither Harm nor I have been sent out of town yet. Of course it's still only Monday things could change.

  


"Colonel."

  


"Yes, sir."

  


"I'm sure you noticed that you got more than your fair share of case files this week. You won't be working on them alone."

  


"I won't sir?"

  


"No, you'll be working on them with our new junior attorney. Ensign Tiner could you come in here, please." Jason Tiner walks in and stands at attention next to the table. 

  


"Have a seat, Tiner"

  


"Yes, sir."

  


"Ensign Tiner just graduated from Naval Justice School and since he's already familiar with JAG Headquarters and the staff here, he seemed a logical choice to help out with our staffing shortage."

  


"Welcome back Tiner." All three of us are quite sincere in our welcome. We have another lawyer to help. Okay we have to train him but at least he knows his way around D.C. and Headquarters and knows how things work around here. Better this than getting another Ensign coming to their first post.

  
  


Things have been much better at home. Now things might be starting to look up on the work front too.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	10. part 14

  
  


_Mac's Office_

_1155 hours_

_01/26/2004_

  


I've spent the morning working on paper work while Jason spends his time doing all the paperwork that comes from a new duty station. I'm just starting to look over the cases that Jason and I will be working on when I hear a knock on the door.

  


"Enter."

  


"Ensign Tiner reporting as ordered, sir."

  


"Come in Jason. Sit down. Did you get your paperwork done?"

  


"Yes, ma'am."

  


"Okay well since it's almost lunch time what do you say . . . "

  


"Hey, Mac."

  


"Yes, Harm what can we do for you?"

  


"I was just going to offer to buy you and Jason lunch. What do you say?"

  


"Jason?"

  


"Sounds good to me sir, ma'am."

  


"Okay, let's go flyboy. Who's driving? "

  


"What don't you want to show of your new car, Mac?"

  


"You got a new car colonel?"

  


"I needed something the kids could ride in. Harm's mom took me car shopping. I'm sure I got the best deal in the history of that dealership." Harm just laughs.

  


"Probably, Mac."

  


"Let me get my purse and we'll go." I grab my purse and follow Jason and Harm out of my office.

  


_Mac's Office_

_ 1701 hours_

_ 01/26/2004 _

  


Jason and I are going over case files when I hear a knock on the door.

  


"Enter."

  


"I'm heading out Mac. I'll get AJ and Jimmy from daycare tonight."

  


"That would be great. I'm afraid Jason and I are going to be here at least another hour."

  


"Take your time. I'll hold down the fort tonight."

  


"Thanks Harm, I'll be home as soon as I can." Harm just smiles at me as he turns to leave. 

  


"See you later, Mac. Don't work too hard."

  


"Okay, let's see what else we need to go over."

  


"There's the Allot DOD and the Smith D&D."

  


"Okay let's go over those and that will give you four files to work on this week. I really think these will all end up being plea bargains so your biggest hassle will be the paperwork."

  


"Yes ma'am. I assume I can come to you with any questions."

  


"Of course, I'm not going to throw you straight to the wolves. I'll wait a week or two at least."

Jason chuckles at the remark.

  


"Let's get these done ma'am so you can get home to the kids." We both buckle down and manage to get through the files in an hour and ten minutes. I head for home after having invited Jason over for dinner. He refused but promised that he'll come see AJ this weekend. 

  


I head for home wondering if I should stop to pick up something to eat on the way. I'm sure

Harm, Trish and the kids have already eaten.

  
  


_Roberts' House (or should I say Harm and Mac's house?)_

_1910 hours_

_01/26/2004_

  


I park my car in the driveway and head into the house. 

  


"Hello! I'm home."

  


"We're in here Mac." I follow the sound of Harm's voice into the family room where I find Trish rocking Jimmy to sleep. AJ is in his pajamas and sitting between Harm and Mattie on the couch watching "Finding Nemo."

  


"Aunt Mac!" AJ scrambles up from the couch and comes to give me a hug.

  


"You're home."

  


"Yep, I'm home. Have you had your bath?"

  


"Uh-uh. Mattie helped."

  


"Oh did she. Well thank you, Mattie."

  


"Anytime Mac. We left you some dinner in the oven. It should still be warm even."

  


"Great. I'll go get it after I change." 

  


"You go change. I'll get your dinner."

  


"Thanks Harm."

  


I head up to my room and change out of my uniform before heading back downstairs. I head for the kitchen expecting to find Harm and my dinner. I find neither.

  


"Harm?"

  


"In here Mac."

  


"I head back to the family room and find Harm's set my dinner and a bottle of water on a tv tray in front of the love seat. 

  


"Thanks Harm. This looks great."

  


"Anytime, Mac."

  


By the time I finish my dinner AJ is curled up next to me engrossed in his movie. I start to move him so that I can clear my dishes but Harm stops me and takes the dishes into the kitchen instead. When the movie's over I take AJ upstairs and put him to bed. As I come downstairs, I hear Trish tell Harm and Mattie goodnight. 

  


"Leaving so soon Trish?"

  


"Frank's supposed to call me in a little bit. I'd like to be back at my hotel so we can have a private conversation."

  
  


"I understand but you know you're welcome to stay here."

  


"I know but you and Harm need your down time and time alone with the kids. Besides I can afford a hotel. See you tomorrow, Mac."

  


"See you tomorrow, Trish." Harm closes the door and locks it before turning to look at me. 

  


"I promised Mattie we'd watch "Matrix Reloaded" after the boys were in bed and have some popcorn Want to join us?"

  


"Sounds like fun, if you don't mind." Mattie jumps in at this point.

  


"Of course we don't mind Mac. Let's go make some popcorn while Harm gets the movie started." Mattie pulls me into the kitchen. I look to Harm for help but he just laughs and heads back to the family room.

  


We spend the rest of the evening watching the movie and eating popcorn. I end up sitting on the couch in between Harm and Mattie. At some point during the movie Harm puts his arm around me on the back of the couch. I'm a little shocked when he does it but I don't say anything because I find I like having his arm there. Clay never did things like that. Mic used to put his arm around me but I always felt like he was trying to stake his claim when he did. Harm having his arm around me just feels supportive, like he wants me to know he cares but doesn't want to make any demands.

  


Once the movie's over, Mattie gets up and gets ready to head up to bed. 

  


"Harm I think I'm going to head up too. I need to get up and run in the morning."

  


"Hey, wake me up and I'll go with you."

  


"What about the boys?"

  


"I'll be here. We'll be fine Mac. You two go run." Harm smiles at Mattie.

  


"Thanks, Mattie. So what do you say Mac."

  


"Okay it's a date. See you in the morning." 

  


"Goodnight Mac."

  


"Goodnight Harm. Come on Mattie time for bed." Mattie gives Harm a quick hug before heading up the stairs with me. We head down the hall together before parting to head to our own rooms.

  


"Good night Mac."

  


"Night Mattie." I head into my room and set my alarm clock. I'm really looking forward to running with Harm tomorrow. It's been so long since we've done those kinds of things together and I've missed them.

  
  
  



	11. Part 15

_A/N: Blame the following chapter on my need to wake AJ up about some things. (Namely: Harm) I'm kind of giving Harm the benefit of the doubt that he's matured and changed. I'd like to give Mac and AJ the same consideration, but what I'm seeing on my television won't allow that!_

  


Thanks for all the wonderful feedback. This is the longest story I've ever written and I've still got some ideas to play with before it's over.

  


_Admiral's Office_

_1016 Hours_

_01/28/2004_

  


I knew it couldn't last. It's been very quiet and peaceful the last couple of days. Jason's had it very easy his first few days but now were in the admiral's office and I'm sure were going to get sent somewhere on an investigation.

  


"There was a flight mishap on the Patrick Henry last night. Your flight leaves out of Andrews this afternoon."

  


"Us, sir?"

  


"Yes, you Ensign. Do you have any problems with that Ensign Tiner?" 

  


"Sir, no sir. I just assumed you'd send Commander Rabb."

  


"Well that's your problem you assumed. Dismissed." Jason executes best dismissal turn I've seen in years and leaves with the file. I however remain standing in front of the admiral's desk. He just looks at me while we wait for the office door to shut.

  


"Can I do something for you Colonel?"

  


"Sir, Commander Rabb is the expert in flight mishaps. He's also well known on the Patrick Henry maybe he should be the one to do the investigation."

  


"Colonel, Tiner needs to get some experience working investigation. You are training him. The captain assures me it's a simple investigation and you should be back by Saturday night at the latest. Now, unless you feel the need to continue to question my decisions?" Nope, think I'll keep my mouth shut. Committing career suicide is not on my list of things to do today.

  


"No sir, my apologies sir."

  


"Dismissed Colonel." I leave and head straight for Harm's office.

  


"Enter."

  


"Hey, Harm."

  


"So, where you headed?"

  


"Jason and I are headed to the Patrick Henry."

  


"For?"

  


"Flight mishap investigation." Harm's eyebrow goes up at that.

  


"Really?"

  


"Yeah, really. You and the kids be okay for a couple of days?"

  


"Yeah, we'll be fine. Will you be back before the weekend?"

  


"Admiral seems to think so. I'm going to head home and pack. I'm also going to see if Trish can take me to the airport."

  


"I'm sure she can. Be careful and give us a call if you can."

  


"Will do. See you in a few days Harm."

  


"See ya, Mac."

  


_Patrick Henry_

_1604 hours_

_01/31/2004_

  


I've just missed the last flight out of here tonight. This supposedly simple case is going nowhere fast. I just finished talking to Captain Ingles about the case and our lack of progress. He told me not to feel too bad part of the reason he thought it would be a quick investigation is that he assumed Harm would be one of the investigators. 

  


I calculate the time difference and realize it's early morning in back home. The boys should both be up so I don't have to worry about waking them or Harm up.

  


~Ring~

  


"Hello."

  


"Hello."

  


"Hey, Mac! Are you headed back yet?"

  


"No, it's going to be a couple more days. Jason and I are still trying to get caught up on the mechanical stuff and get everyone to talk to us."

  
  


"Would it help if I talked to Tuna and Skates?"

  


"Probably but don't do it."

  


"Okay, why?"

  


"Because when I suggested to the admiral that you should work this with Tiner he told me it wasn't necessary anybody could do the investigation. I'd like him to see that there are times that you are the best man for the job." Harm just chuckles.

  


"Anything you say, ma'am. Stay safe and see you as soon as you can get back."

  


"Will do. See ya. Tell AJ and Mattie I said hi."

  


"Will do. Bye Mac."

  


"Bye Harm." Hopefully I can get this out of the way and be headed back by Tuesday at the latest.

  


_JAG Headquarters_

_0800 hours_

_02/02/2004_

_AJ's POV_

  


Petty Officer Coates hands me my messages as I head into my office to start another day. There's one from Captain Ingles and one from his commanding officer. I hear Rabb entering the bullpen and when I look I notice that the Colonel isn't with him.

  


"Colonel Mackenzie running late today Commander?"

  


"No sir, She and Ensign Tiner are still on the Patrick Henry." What? Ingles said that would be a quick investigation. Now I know what my first call will be.

  


"Hello."

  


"Yes, This is Admiral Cheggwidden I need to speak to the captain."

  


"One moment please." It's actually more like five minutes.

  


"Yes, Admiral what can I do for you today?"

  


"Why are my officers still on your ship?"

  


"They aren't finished with their investigation."

  


"You told me this would be quick."

  


"Yes, sir. I did sir. However, I assumed that you would be sending Commander Rabb. Had I known you weren't sending Rabb I would have told you it would take longer."

  


"Why did that make a difference? Colonel Mackenzie is a very competent investigator."

  


"Yes, sir she is. However she doesn't have an engineering degree and hasn't been through flight school. She and the Ensign lost time when they had to get someone to explain the mechanical issues to them. Also the pilots look at them and see a JAG trying to end a career and are reluctant to talk. They look at Rabb and see another pilot and are a little more open." 

  


"I see. When do you think my officer should be returning?"

  


"Colonel Mackenzie thought they'd be able to catch the COD tomorrow morning at the latest."

  


"Thank you." It should make any difference whom I send. I wish people would quit assuming whom I'm going to assign cases to.

  


~Buzz~

  


"Yes Coates."

  


"You have a call on line two. It's the CINCLANT's office." I hate Mondays.

  


"Thank you Coates." I punch the intercom and switch to the phone.

  


"This is Cheggwidden."

  


"Yes, This is Admiral Atwater. Why didn't you send Commander Rabb on the investigation on the Patrick Henry?"

  


"That was a command decision."

  


"I understand that Cheggwidden. My question is why you would not send a highly decorated pilot/lawyer to investigate a mishap where the pilot is claiming mechanical failure but the plane's crew is swearing mechanical error. Rabb could have been in and out in two days maybe less and the ship could have gotten back to business."

  


"I'll keep that in mind sir." Not many people I have to sir but this guy's a three star.

  


"See that you do. I hope in the future you'll be more of a team player." It's going to be a long week.

  
  
  
  



	12. Part 16

_A/N: I had this part all planned out in my head on Tuesday. I intended to write and post it on Wednesday, but RL decided to bite me in the six. I had an IEP meeting on Wednesday after school. Our school psychologist should up and the parents brought a psychologist; the meeting took three hours. I had no energy to write after that!_

  
  


Disclaimer: If I owned JAG Mac and Harm would learn from their mistakes.__

  


_Harm and Mac's House_

_2003 Hours_

_02/12/2004_

  


This has not been a good week. First I didn't get home until Monday night from the Patrick Henry. Coming home was kind of fun though. For the first time since Mic, I have someone to come home to and I like it. It's nice to have people who miss you when you're gone.

  


Of course when I got into work Tuesday I was behind because the admiral expected me back Monday. Then Harm gets sent out of town on an investigation yesterday. Guess this time the admiral thought it best to send a pilot to investigate a pilot. Nice to know that the admiral can learn from his mistakes.

  


Harm called about an hour ago to tell me his on his way home. Of course when he gets here I have to tell him that I'm on my way out of town. Actually I'm amazed that the admiral agreed to give me the time off to go do this. I don't have to worry about the kids because Harm doesn't have anything on his schedule but paperwork tomorrow. The admiral wasn't sure he'd be back before the weekend so he kept Harm's schedule open. 

  


I've already arranged for a flight to Arizona. My bags are packed and ready to go. My flight leaves at 0900 tomorrow morning. I've already told Mattie and AJ that I have leave town again. Neither of them were very happy; we'd made plans for this weekend. I promised them AJ we'd rent a video, and Mattie and I were going shopping for a new outfit for the dance that's coming up.

  


AJ and Jimmy are both in bed already. Mattie's upstairs in her room working on some homework. Harm bought her a refurbished laptop to help her catch up on her work. The school has work out a deal with her where she can get make-up some of the work from before Christmas and get a full year's credit toward graduation.

  


I'm doing dishes when I hear the front door open.

  


"Hello"

  


"I'm in the kitchen."

  


"Hey, jarhead."

  
  


"Hey squid about time you got back." 

  


"Yeah, I know. Whoa! You're making a salad?" I roll my eyes.

  


"I do know how to make a salad Harm."

  


"I'm sure you do; I just didn't think you ate them."

  


"I don't usually; this is for you."

  


"Thank you! I'm starving. Where is everybody?"

  


"Mattie's upstairs working on some homework and the boys are in bed."

  


"Okay I'll go see Mattie after I eat. Sit with me?"

  


"Sure, you can tell me about your trip." I sit and have a cup of tea while Harm eats his salad. We chat about work and Harm's investigation. It's almost like old times. After he finishes eating, Harm goes upstairs and spends a few minutes talking to Mattie. I may have great timing but I don't know how long Harm spends with Mattie because as soon as you comes downstairs the look on his face makes me forget what time it is.

  


"You going somewhere Mac?"

  


"Yeah, I've got a flight out of here in the morning. The admiral's already approved the time off."

  


"Where are you going?"

  


"I need to go to Arizona for a couple of days."

  


"Mac?"

  


"It's nothing Harm don't worry about it."

  


"It's nothing but you need to go to Arizona? You may have grown up there but you aren't one to go back and visit old haunts. Talk to me Mac."

  


"There's nothing to talk about Harm. It doesn't concern you."

  


"It doesn't concern me? You are important to me. If it concerns you, it concerns me. Dammit Mac! Haven't you learned anything?"

  


"Learned anything about what?" I can't believe Harm said that I'm important to him!

  


"Learned that we do the most damage to our relationship when we don't talk to each other. Let me list some examples: your marriage, your relationship with Farrow, my decision to return to flying, my investigating Singer, my resignation." 

  
  


I hate to admit it but he's right. Anytime either one of us has decided to keep something from the other; our relationship has been damaged. At times it's been damaged almost beyond repair.

  


"I need to go to Cindy's funeral." Harm just looks at me. I think he's shocked I told him. He's also probably trying to figure out who Cindy is.

  


"Okay, who's Cindy?"

  


"Eddie's mom she died of breast cancer Tuesday night. I need to go to the funeral. Eddie can't go and I need to be there." I'm rambling but I can't seem to stop.

  


"Okay, relax Mac. I understand where you're coming from. Do you want me to go with you?"

  


"You can't Harm! Somebody needs to be here with the kids."

  


"We can figure out something. Do you want me to go with you?"

  


"Harm, what about JAG?"

  


"Non responsive counselor, answer the question."

  


"You'd do that for me?"

  


"Of course I would Mac. We're all family and family sticks together. I'm assuming they live in the same town and you're not looking forward to being there."

  


"Well yeah, and no I'm not looking forward to being there but I need to do this."

  


"I understand Mac, let me call the admiral and talk to Mattie and we'll see what we can figure out."

  


"Okay."

  


I sit in stunned silence while Harm goes off to make arrangements. I'm just shocked by the whole conversation. I think Harm clued me into his feelings more in that one conversation that in all our previous conversations combined. Before I realize Harm's back and sitting down next to me.

  


"Mac?"

  


"Yeah." 

  
  


"I talked to the admiral. He said as long as my paperwork is on his desk by 1000 hours; he doesn't care where I work on it at. I also talked to Jason he's going to come stay with AJ and Mattie while we're gone."

  


"What about Jimmy?"

  


"I thought you might want to take him with us?" That's a good idea. It would give me something to concentrate on besides my nerves. Eddie's father, Mike, wouldn't have any problems with a baby at the funeral.

  


"I think that's a good idea."

  


"Well, I'm glad because I already called and got myself booked onto your flight in the morning."

  


"Harm, thank you." Harm reaches out and gives me a hug. As soon as his arms close around me the tears start. I start to pull away and apologize but Harm just tightens his grip.

  


"Go ahead Mac. It's probably overdue." So we just sit there and Harm holds me while I cry.


	13. Part 17

_A/N: The town I have Harm and Mac going to is real town about 45 minutes from Mesa Arizona. I have no idea where Mac really lived when she finished high school, but this town is the kind of place that I picture Mac having lived in. It currently has about 10,000 residents so when Mac was in high school it was probably half that size. At that size it would have been the kind of place where everybody knew everybody and there was no such thing as a secret._

  
  


_Harm and Mac‛s hotel room._

_Holiday Inn_

_Queen Creek, Arizona_

_1030 Hours (Remember we‛re now in the Pacific Time Zone!)_

02/13/2004

  


Harm finishes setting up the portable crib in the room while I change Jimmy into something more suitable for Arizona in February. Jimmy‛s getting kind of fussy and once I check my internal clock I realize why.

  


"Hey, Harm I‛m going to feed Jimmy and then what do you say we get something to eat?"

  


"Sure, I guess it is lunch time when you consider the fact we‛re on D.C. time. Did I see a Pizza Hut on our way into town?"

  


"Yes and that‛s probably our best bet for lunch. The only other place I know of that‛s open is a dive bar and grill."

  


"Well that‛s not the kind of place we can take Jimmy, so how about we go hit the lunch buffet?"

  


"Sounds like a plan just let me give Jimmy his bottle."

  


"Wait. Let‛s he can have it in the restaurant while we‛re waiting for our food."

  


"Okay, let‛s go then." I pick up Jimmy and Harm leads us out of the room after grabbing the key card so that we can get back in. 

  


_Harm and Mac‛s hotel room._

_Holiday Inn_

_Queen Creek, Arizona_

_1737 hours_

02/13/2004

  


The nice thing about being on D.C. time is that Harm and I managed to have lunch before the lunch rush started and I haven‛t run into anybody I know yet. After lunch we made a stop at the local grocery store and grabbed some snacks and supplies for Jimmy. This being the first time traveling with a baby for either of us we didn't realize everything we needed to bring until our layover in Denver. 

  


We then returned to the hotel room where Jimmy took a nap while Harm and I got out our laptops and did some work. We‛re now just sitting around watching tv while Jimmy plays on a blanket on the floor.

  


"So Mac, you ready to go find some dinner?"

  


"Yeah, what do you want to eat?"

  


"You're the native what's good around here?"

  


"Well let's see if Clancy's is still around. It was a great steak house and even had rabbit food."

  


"Glad to see you're thinking of me."

  


"Anytime. So what'd you say?"

  


"Sounds fine by me. I'll get Jimmy and you can drive since you know where you're going."

  


"Okay. Just give me a couple of minutes to get ready." At that I get up and head to the bathroom to wash my face. After washing my face I look at myself in the mirror. There's a really good chance I'm going to run into someone from my childhood tonight. I hope I'm ready.

  
  


_Clancy's restaurant_

_Queen Creek Arizona_

_1805 hours_

_02/13/2004_

  


Clancy's is still here. I'm not sure if I'm surprised or not. The place was a local legend when I was a kid. Harm gets out of the car and reaches in the back to grab Jimmy. He hands Jimmy to me and steers us into the restaurant. The place is crowded but it only takes ten minutes and twelve seconds for us to be led to our table.

  


So far I haven't run into anybody from my high school days but the town has doubled in size since I left. I'm waiting for Harm and Jimmy to get back from the restroom when it happens.

  


"Sarah is that you?" Well at least it's somebody I can stand talking too. 

  


"Yeah, Olivia, it's I." I stand up and come face to face with Olivia Woods, Eddie's old girlfriend. She gives me a hug.

  


"How are you Sarah? I haven't seen you in so long. What are you doing here? Wait, scratch that you're here for Cindy's funeral aren't you?"

  


"Yeah it seemed like the right thing to do. What are you doing here?"

  
  


"My husband Tony and I run the place. I went to work for Mike after school and when Cindy got sick Mike wanted somebody he trusted running the place. He said if things had worked out differently I'd have probably inherited it anyway so I might as well run it."

  


"Good for you." 

  


"Excuse me." Olivia whirls around and comes face to face with Harm and Jimmy.

  


"Harm! Jimmy! You guys finally made it back. This is Olivia. She was Eddie's girlfriend in high school. Olivia, this is Harm and Jimmy." Olivia reaches out and shakes Jimmy's hand.

  


"Well aren't you a cutie, much too cute to be hanging around with Sarah." I know that's Olivia's way of asking who Jimmy is without coming right out and saying this kid doesn't look like you, Sarah, who does he belong to.

  


"Jimmy's parents were killed in an accident on Christmas day. Harm and I were named guardians of him and his brother AJ." Harm jumps in at this point.

  


"I'm also the guardian of a girl, Mattie."

  


"Sounds like you have your hands full Sarah. Where are the other two?"

  


"They stayed home in Virginia. Harm and I thought traveling with Jimmy would be enough without adding a four and ½ year old and a 15-year-old into the mix." Olivia just laughs.

  


"Probably true. Well I better get back to work before Tony sends out a search party. It was good to see you, Sarah. I hope we get a chance to talk before you have to leave."

  


"I'll certainly try." After Olivia leaves Harm and I just sit there for a minute.

  


"You okay Mac?"

  


"I'm fine. Why'd you ask?"

  


"You look, I don't know, relieved."

  


"I guess I am. I've been worried about what it would be like when I finally ran into someone from my past but this wasn't too bad."

  


"Well then I'm glad she was the first person you ran into." Our dinner finally arrives and nothing else is said while we eat. We've just finished our dinner when it happens.

  


"Well, well, well if it isn't Sarah Ragle. Sober even. To what do we owe the pleasure?"Harm looks at me and I try to send him a look that says let me try and handle this on my own.

  
  


"I'm here for Cindy's funeral, Travis. Also it's Mackenzie not Ragle and I haven't had a drink since I was 18, which is obviously more than one can say about you."

  


"You kill the woman's only child and then show up for her funeral. That takes balls Sarah. I don't care what you call yourself now you'll always be Ragle's piece of ass to me." At that I stand up getting ready to knock Travis on his six. Travis always was a chauvinistic egotistical drunk but I'm not going to let him talk to me like that. Harm and I both stand up at that crack but before either one of us can do or saying anything someone else steps in.

  


"Travis, I think you need to go wait in the bar and Olivia will call you a cab."

  


"What if I'd rather sit here and talk to Ragle's piece?" Harm takes a step forward but Tony, at least I'm assuming that's who he is, puts out an arm to stop him.

  


"Then I'll just have to call the sheriff and they'll come get you and take you down to the drunk tank, which I know is not your favorite way to spend Friday night."

  


Tony and Travis stand toe to toe and just look at each other for a minute before Travis finally turns and wanders toward the bar. Tony turns to the two of us.

  


"Sorry about that Sarah. I'm Tony, Olivia's husband, she's told me a lot about you." I shake the man's hand.

  


"Not your fault Tony but I do thank you for your help. I was a little afraid we were going to have to get physical."

  


"Nah., best thing to do with Travis is threaten him with the drunk tank. He hates it and since my brother works nights for the sheriff's department I usually have no problems arranging it." Harm just laughs.

  


"Sounds devious Tony, my name's Harm. It's nice to meet you." Tony and Harm shake hands. 

  


"Well I need to get back to work. It was nice to meet both of you. See you tomorrow." Tony heads toward the bar. Harm leaves some money on the table. We gather our things and leave.

  


"Hey, ninja girl?"

  


"Yeah?"

  


"You handled that pretty well."

  


"Thanks." We get in the car and head back for the hotel. Maybe tomorrow won't be as bad as I thought it would be.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	14. Part 18

_A/N: Sorry this took so long. I blame it on the English 10 kids and their book reviews that were due this week. This chapter takes place after the funeral of Eddie's mom. I purposely have Harm out of uniform in this chapter and Mac in uniform. I see Mac as needing to wear her uniform to show people that she's done something with her life and she's not just Joe Mackenzie's daughter and Chris Ragle's wife._

  


_Disclaimer: I don't own JAG and after seeing "AGBF" I'm more a little more trusting in DPB's ownership than I have been since the first episodes of season 8._

  


_Clancy's Restaurant_

_Queen Creek, Arizona _

_1211 hours_

_02/14/2004_

  


Harm pulls the car into the parking lot of the restaurant and parks.

  


"How you doing?"

  


"Hanging in there. Thank you for asking."

  


"Good. So why are they having a luncheon here?"

  


"Two reasons. One, Cindy inherited the restaurant from her father. Two, Cindy always said she wanted a wake. A funeral was okay by her as long as she got a wake too. This is Mike's way of doing that."

  


"Makes sense."

  


By this time we're in the door and I immediately head over to talk to Mike. I didn't have time before the service; Jimmy's diaper leaked and we had to bathe and change him before we could leave.

  


"Sarah?" Mike holds out his hands to hug me, which I immediately step into.

  


"Hi, Mike." He holds me out at arms' length and looks at me.

  


"Look at you! A Marine Lieutenant Colonel. You've done good kiddo."

  


"Thanks. I'm sorry about Cindy."

  


"Thank you, I miss her but she's in a better place and with Eddie now. Who's this little cutie?" He gestures toward Jimmy.

  


"Mike. This is my friend Harm and one of our wards, Jimmy." Mike and Harm shake hands.

  
  


"One of your wards? How many do you have?" I hesitate because I'm not sure if I should count Mattie or not, since technically only Harm's her guardian. Before I can reach a decision Harm makes if for me.

  


"Three total. AJ is four and a half and Mattie is fifteen. They're back in Virginia with a friend."

It makes me feel good to hear Harm talk about "us."

  


"Good for you. And it's nice to meet you, Harm and Jimmy. Sarah, why don't you 3 find a seat and I'll come talk to you later?"

  


"Okay." Harm leads me over to a table and I sit down. He hands me Jimmy and then heads off to find us something to drink and Jimmy something to gum. He's gone for five minutes and I'm starting to wonder when where he's at when he returns with two bottles of root beer and some Cheerios.

  


"Where'd you get the Cheerios?"

  


"I ran into your friend, Olivia, she got them out of the kitchen for me when I told her what I was looking for."

  


"That was nice of her." Jimmy immediately starts reaching for the cereal. I give him a few pieces which he alternates between playing with and attempting to eat.

  


I spend the next two hours talking to Olivia, Mike and a couple of others from my teenage years. Mike was always more like a dad to me than my dad, of course that also describes Uncle Matt, Admiral Cheggwidden and if I'm being honest John Farrow at least to some degree. 

  


There aren't many other people here for me to talk to but it doesn't bother me. I came because I felt I needed to for Eddie. Most of the people that Eddie, Chris and I hung out with are either dead, in jail, or incapable of showing Mike the support he needs right now. Of course the parents of some of my old friends are in attendance as well as some of the 'upstanding citizens' that did so little to help my mother when my father was beating her.

  


See I lived in this town for years. We moved here when my father got out of the Marines. I think he liked the fact it wasn't near a military base and it was away from where Uncle Matt was stationed. After my mom left, I started drinking and married Chris in an attempt to get away from my life. The thing was I couldn't escape it and my attempts just confirmed the town's people's beliefs about me. My attempts to escape actually made things worse, I became what I was trying to escape. I think the reason I was so nervous about this trip is I was afraid of being confronted with those perceptions again. I've spent years running from them without even realizing that's what I was doing. Until recently my life's been about trying to prove that I'm not my parents and I'm not the worthless drunk wife of someone who'd never be more than a crook.

  


"Sarah Mackenzie." I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I can do this.

  
  


"Mr. Mass, how are you?"

  


'What are you doing here?" Harm tenses up at this comment. He realizes that this isn't going to be like my reunion with Mike and Olivia. 

  


"I came to say goodbye to Cindy."

  


"After all the time you've been gone. Who's this your latest drinking buddy?" Harm's hand is in mine and I give it a gentle squeeze. I see both Mike and Olivia headed this way. I'd rather handle this without their help if I can.

  


"This is my friend Harm."

  


"Interesting name. Don't you know this isn't a costume party?"

  


"This is my uniform. I'll have you know I'm a Lieutenant Colonel in the Marines and a lawyer for the Judge Advocate General of the Navy."

  


"You! Stupid little Sarah Mackenzie! You just barely finished high school the only way you'd have gotten a college degree is if you bought it." By this time I'm standing so close to the man we're practically touching noses. Harm; Olivia and Mike are standing nearby waiting to intervene if necessary

  


"Did you ever think that my grades had nothing to do with a lack of intelligence? I grew up with a father who drank constantly, told me I was stupid and beat my mother regularly and my mother left without me on my fifteenth birthday. My own attempts to escape led me to the bottle and Chris Ragle. Maybe I didn't do that well in school because with all the energy staying alive required I didn't have any energy left for school! If you'd been doing your job as a teacher and administrator maybe, it wouldn't have taken Eddie dying and my uncle forcing me to dry out to turn things around."

  


I take a deep breath and feel Harm take my hand and give it a gentle squeeze. Mr. Mass is just looking at me in shock. I prepare myself for his comeback when Mike speaks up.

  


"You know I don't think this is an appropriate place for this conversation." 

  


"Fine but I'd love to know how Sarah managed to have a kid without FAS."

  


~Whack~ I just punched one of my old high school teachers. Judging by the amount of blood I might have broken his nose.

  


"Oh gee Cody it looks like you're going to need to go get that looked at. Tony will drive you to the hospital. You really should be more careful." Olivia chatting at the guy like nothing out of the ordinary just happened as she leads him to the door and motions for Tony.

  


"More careful?"

  


"Well yeah, you really shouldn't walk into doors like that." Harm and I just look at each other and laugh. 

  


"Sarah, I'm really sorry about that. I'd like to talk to you some more but I'll understand if you need to leave." Harm looks at me and I can see his answer to my unspoken question in his eyes.

  


"I think we can stay for a while longer."

  


"I'm so glad."

  
  
  



	15. part 19

_A/N: About the last chapter; FAS is an abbreviation for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I have parent/teacher conferences this next week. The good news about that is I should have plenty of time to write as only about 15% of my students' parents show up. The bad news is that I probably won't get anything posted before next Friday. Sorry about that._

  


Spoilers: A Girl's Best Friend and Good Intentions __

  


_Harm and Mac's house_

_0625 hours_

_03/02/2004_

  


I head down the hallway to AJ's room. Harm and I have developed a routine during the work week. Three days a week we go run early and then we take turns in the shower. Harm goes first then he gets Jimmy up and ready for the day. While he's in the shower I get AJ and Mattie up and then after my shower we all head downstairs to grab some breakfast before heading out for the day.

  


Actually breakfast is not an accurate description of what we have. AJ has a cereal bar or some other snack to tide him over until breakfast at the sitters. Mattie has been on pop tarts kick, which is driving Harm nuts. Harm and I take a cup of coffee and a bagel with us for the road. If we didn't run, we'd have more time but then we'd have to run after work and it's really not fair to Mattie to make her watch the boys so that we can run. Not that Mattie minds but she has other things she needs to do. 

  


We also discussed taking turns running during the week but we enjoy going running together. We used to do it all the time but stopped after Sydney. Actually we stopped when Harm went to flight duty but we were just starting again when Sydney happened. Looking back on it the fact we quit running together was a major sign of just how strained our relationship was. We weren't exercising with our significant others but we weren't comfortable with the old routines. Both of us really enjoy our runs together so this was our compromise. We also run on the weekends but we don't have to get up nearly as early.

  


"AJ are you ready to go downstairs?"

  


"NO!" Oh it's going to be on of those mornings.

  


"AJ you're not even dressed. Are you going to get dressed?"

  


"NO!"

  


"AJ we need to get moving. You need to get to Brenda's."

  


"NO!"

  


"Okay." He really picked the wrong day to do this. I have a client meeting at 0900 and can't be late. I leave the room and head downstairs to talk to Harm.

  


"Mac, where's AJ?"

  


"He's upstairs. He's refusing to get dressed. How do you want to handle this?"

  


"Can we ride in together?"

  


"I guess, why?"

  


"Because I'm thinking we'll just put him in the car and go. We can pack his clothes and he can get dressed at the sitter's. I'm willing to bet though that he'll scream bloody murder and I don't think either of us should have to deal with that alone."

  
  


"Sounds like a plan. Let me go grab his clothes and I'll get Jimmy in the car."

  


"Okay let's get a move on it. Mattie, you need anything before we go?"

  


"Lunch money and possibly some ear plugs." I give Mattie a twenty out of my purse with a chuckle.

  


"Here's some lunch money and try sticking your fingers in your ears." That said I turn around and head back upstairs to grab AJ's backpack and clothes. It's 0640 we've got to get a move on.

  
  


_Mac's Office_

_1002 hours_

_03/02/2004_

  


I beat Harm! I beat Harm! I shouldn't be gloating like this but it happens so rare and this makes twice in a row. The first time we were trying the case of a Navy Lieutenant accuse of smuggling diamonds. I was prosecuting and Harm defending and I discovered that the Lieutenant was stealing synthetic diamonds from the lab. I was able to prove he was smuggling diamonds just not the type of diamonds we originally thought he was smuggling. 

  


This time I was defending a Petty Officer accused of murdering a woman while in an alcoholic blackout. It turned out that the Chaplain did it. He was a drug addict that was using again and the woman saw him smoking crack behind a building on the dock. 

  


Harm's the one who actually figured out who killed the Ensign but I still feel like I beat Harm because I didn't plead it out and kept investigating even after the Petty Officer confessed. Harm urged be to take the plea agreement and I didn't, I kept pushing which ultimately kept an innocent man out of Leavenworth.

  


~Knock Knock~

  


"Enter."

  


"Colonel Mackenzie do you have a minute?"

  


"Sure, Jason come on in."

  


Jason and I spend the next hour discussing his case and whether or not he could have done any better in the deal he got for his client. This was his first major case he'd taken to Article 32 without someone right there with him. I've been overseeing his work on the case but he's done all the legwork and court appearances on his own. After he tells me all about his case I tell him his client got a very good deal, probably better than he deserves. No sooner does Jason leave than Harm shows up.

  


"Want to go get some lunch Marine?"

  


"Are you buying?"

  


"Sure why not but you've got to drive." 

  


"Of course I've got to drive Harm we, only brought my car today." I laugh at him.

  


"Well then let's get going."

  
  


_Harm and Mac's living room_

_1830 hours_

_03/02/2004_

  
  


The dinner dishes are done. Mattie's working on homework. Harm's giving the boys their bath so that I can make a phone call. The admiral has been cranky, irritable, and just generally unpleasant to work for lately. Jen called earlier and asked what she'd have to do to get transferred elsewhere. She said she'd rather be stuck on a submarine than in JAG dealing with the admiral. Harm calmed her down but it took him 20 minutes. While they were talking I remembered something that Jason said the other day. He mentioned that the last time the admiral was like this was when he'd just broken up with Doctor Walden. I've decided he might be on to something so I'm going to call Meredith and see if I can find out what happened.

  


"Hello?"

  


"Hello Meredith, it's Sarah."

  


"Sarah, what can I do for you?"

  


"I was hoping you could tell me what's going on with you and the admiral."

  


"Nothing, why do you ask?"

  


"Meredith, you might be a great professor but you're a lousy liar."

  


Oh no, now she's crying. It takes fifteen minutes for me to get her calmed down and another ten minutes to get the story out of her. I can't really offer any advice on how to fix things. That's largely because I don't think she can. It's not so much the infidelity that I don't think the admiral can get past as much as who. The admiral was already nervous about her relationship this man because of the fact they traveled in the same circles. If she's unfaithful with this professor what will happen the next time she meets up with an old male colleague? I don't think I can share this information with any of the staff but maybe I can let them know that things have ended for good.

  


"You okay, Mac? You look lost in thought."

  


"Yeah I'm fine, Harm. I just got off the phone with Meredith."

  


"Really, what's up with the Admiral?"

  


"I'm not sure I can tell you."

  


"I won't tell a soul. I promise."

  


"Well let's just say that it's probably over. Meredith had a brief affair."

  


"I can understand why you're reluctant to say anything. I won't tell a soul but I'll find a way to let Jen know that she should mention Meredith or the wedding."

  


"That would be great. Thanks for understand, Harm."

  


"No problem. Now both boys are in bed. Want to put in a movie?"

  


"Isn't it a little early for AJ to be in bed?"

  


"Brenda said he didn't take a nap today so I thought it'd be okay."

  


"Good point a movie sounds wonderful. I'll even let you pick."

  



	16. Part 20

_A/N: Well conferences are over and here's the next part as promised. Thanks to Chris for the beta._

  


_"Ahn" is shit in Farsi. When you read the line you'll understand._

  


_Harm's Office _

_1650 Hours _

_03/05/2004_

  


"I hate Mondays." I tell Harm as I flop into a chair near his desk.

  


"Uh, Mac I don't know how to tell you this but it's Wednesday."

  


"I know that's what the calendar says, but trust me, this week has been nothing but Mondays in clever disguises." Harm laughs at this.

  


"Okay I do see your point. This hasn't been the best week. The Admiral's grouchy." Harm stops and looks at me for a minute. "Mac, if you raise your eyebrows any higher, they're going to disappear into your hairline."

  


"Well I can't help it if you suddenly have a gift for understatement."

  
  


"Okay, good point. Anyway between the Admiral, Sturgis and the racial bias charge, Mattie's English teacher, work, and AJ's sudden love affair with the word no, it has been a long week."

  


"Not to mention the phone call from Webb." Oops, I shouldn't have mentioned that.

  


"What did he want?" Wow, I'm impressed, he sounds calm and relaxed as he asks that.

  


"Me to be his official translator during some meetings with some diplomats. I told him no, but it's just one more thing that's made today a long week." Harm laughs at that comment.

  


"Okay that's it, time for you to get some stress relief Colonel."

  


"Not that I'm arguing but what have you got in mind Harm?"

  


"How about we see if Jen or Jason can stay with the kids and we go out to dinner and a movie. And I mean a grown-up movie nothing produced and/or directed by Disney."

  


"Sounds like a date."

  


"Yeah it does, doesn't it? Does that bother you?"

  


"Why would it bother me?"

  


"You are the one that said never."

  


"True but one thing I've learned lately is that things do change." I really hope Harm doesn't ask me to explain because I'm not sure I'm ready. I spent so much time convincing myself that things with Harm would never change and he'd never be able to give me what I need. Then Harm and I end up living together and not only do I learn about a side of Harm I didn't know was there; I

learn what I truly need isn't what I've spent my entire adult life looking for. I guess we've both been growing up. It's about time.

  


"True enough. So can I interest you in dinner and a movie?"

  


"Sounds wonderful but when are we going to do this?"

  


"Well let me go talk to Jen and Jason and see if I can get it set up for tonight." Harm leaves to go talk to Jen and Jason and I head back to my office to close up for the weekend. My computer has just shut down when Harm stops in my doorway.

  


"Okay, here's the plan. You head out and pick up the boys. I'm going to give Jen a ride to her place, she'll grab her seabag. I bring her to the house, she'll stay with the kids while we go out and I'll give her a ride home tomorrow. Work for you?"

  


"Sure. I'll see you at home." I grab my briefcase and close my office up. Harm's heading back to his office and I wave to him as I head for the elevator.

  


"See you later, Marine." I chuckle as I step into the elevator. This is going to be fun. I haven't had a night like this in so long. When I was seeing Clay we always went to four-star restaurants and charity events. We never just played together, and I'm finding I really need that.

  
  


_Harm and Mac's House_

_2237 Hours_

_03/05/2004_

  


Harm holds the door open as I step inside. I had so much fun tonight. Harm and I went to an Indian restaurant for dinner and then to a showing of Return of the King at the cinema. It was fun. We got to talk uninterrupted through dinner. We got to eat what we wanted, not what the kids would eat. We took a leisurely stroll around the mall and got to watch a movie without any interruption.

  


"Harm."

  


"Yeah, Mac?"

  


"I had a lot of fun tonight."

  


"Me too, Sarah." Harm's the only guy that I don't mind when he uses my given name. He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug before we hear noise from the living room.

  


"We're home Jen."

  


"Commander, Colonel, did you have fun?"

  


"Yes we did. Thanks for staying with the kids. You didn't have to wait up."

  


"Actually ma'am I thought it might be for the best." Something's wrong. I can tell by the tone of her voice.

  


"What's wrong Jen?"

  


"Nothing's wrong but I don't think you're going to like the message from the admiral."

  


"Better tell me then."

  


"You're expected at CIA headquarters at 0900 to be briefed on a two week mission to Kuwait."

  


"I thought you told Webb no, Mac." 

  


"I did tell Webb no. That ahn must have gone to the SecNav."

  


"He did ma'am. I brought up the kids and the Admiral said he couldn't do anything the orders came from the SecNav's office." 

  


I don't believe this. The man can't take no for an answer. "I don't believe the nerve of that man! If I didn't have the kids to worry about I'd take my resignation over to the admiral now." I'm pacing back and forth 

  


"Mac, calm down. It'll be okay." I stop and just stare at Harm. Jen takes this as her cue to leave the room.

  


"Who are you and what the hell have you done with Harmon Rabb?" He's laughing at me.

  


"I'm him. I promise. Go to your meeting tomorrow. Find out exactly what's involved and then if you still don't want to go, don't."

  


"Harm, we need the money."

  


"Mac, we have my salary. We have Bud and Harriet's benefits. I'm sure you could find something to keep you busy. You could even work from home. What I'm trying to say is if you want to resign, do, but don't make your decision based on money concerns or anything else. If you do resign, do it because it's what you think is for the best. Okay?"

  


"You're a good man, Harmon Rabb." 

  


"Thanks. Get some sleep, Marine." 

  


"I will. I really did have fun tonight." I take a step closer to Harm.

  


"Me too." Harm bends his head and gives me a gentle kiss on the lips.

  


"Good night, Sarah."

  
  
  
  


A/N: Before anybody decides to kill me for writing a cliffhanger I want you to think about one thing. Would a person who's been known to sign posts as the anti-webbie really send Mac off on a mission with Webb? Good point right?

  
  
  



	17. part 21

_A/N: I promise two things going into this chapter; at the end Mac is still in the states and still in the military. I also promise that the whole issue of Webb will be wrapped up by the end of this chapter. I just can't do forced angst; I leave that to others. Also I need to the first name of Mattie's dad for the next chapter._

  
  


_Mac's Bedroom_

_0630 Hours_

_03/06/2004_

  


I shouldn't have to be up this early. If this were a normal weekend I could stay in bed for another half hour but since I need to run, I'm up now. It's going to be strange running by myself, I've gotten used to running with Harm.

  
  


~Knock Knock~

  


I open the door and Harm's standing there in this running clothes.

  


"Harm?"

  


"You ready to go Mac?"

  


"You don't have to come you know?"

  


"I know but I thought you might want some company. I can stay here if you want." 

  


I can't believe Harm got up early to go run with me. He hates mornings, he owns an alarm clock with two alarms plus a back up alarm that clangs and jumps around on the shelf.

  


"I would love some company." We head downstairs and do our warm-up stretches in the living room before heading out. We jog side by side not saying a word for the first ten minutes and twelve seconds of our run.

  


"Mac, I've got a question for you."

  


"Okay."

  


"Were you serious with the talk of resigning?"

  


"I don't know. I just know that I still have nightmares about Paraguay. I'm not sure I'm ready to risk life and limb again."

  


"I thought he just wanted you to be a translator for some meetings."

  


"Well that's what he said but I'm sure there's more to the story. There's always more to the story."

  
  


"That's true and of course you don't have the need to know." We both laugh at Harm's comment.

  


"At least by Webb's standards I don't. That's part of the reason I'm thinking of resigning."

  


"What's the rest of your reason?"

  


"The kids."

  


"The kids?"

  


"They've lost enough people."

  


"Just going on this trip isn't a guarantee you're going to die, Mac."

  


"I know but you've got to admit going on a mission with Webb is the most dangerous thing I've done the past couple of years."

  


"I guess you have a point. Just do me a favor Mac, make your decision because it's what's best for you not because you think it's what best for everyone else. Okay?"

  


"I'll try."

  


"Fair enough." By this time we've completed our run and are back at the house. We head inside and I head for my room to get showered and changed. When I'm done I head back downstairs and discover AJ and Mattie are up.

  


"Aunt Mac!" 

  


"Hi, how are you this morning?"

  


"Okay. Where you going, Aunt Mac?"

  


"I have to go to work for a little while. I'll be back later." 

  


"Okay."

  


I head for the kitchen hoping to find some coffee and find Harm making breakfast. 

  


"Hey Mac, there's coffee and a bagel on the counter for you."

  


"Thanks, Harm. See you later."

  


"Later Mac."

  
  


_CIA HEADQUARTERS_

_0900_

_03/06/2004_

  


I'm shown into a conference room and find Webb, Kershaw, and Catherine Gale. Great just who I want to see. This day is getting better and better.

  


"I'm sure you're wondering why you're here Colonel." 

  


"Actually I know why I'm here Director Kershaw, why don't you tell me what this assignment involves."

  


"We really just need your services as a translator, Sarah." Webb tells me. Like I'll believe that's all there really is to the assignment.

  


"If it were really that simple you'd use your own people Mr. Webb. Also, only my friends call me Sarah and I don't count you among them anymore." Webb looks shocked at that comment. Did he expect me to forget the conversation we had after Bud and Harriet died? Catherine Gale is smiling at me. I want to wipe that smile off of her face.

  


"Mr. Webb and Ms. Gale, why don't you wait outside?" Webb looks ready to protest but decides against it. A moment later Director Kershaw and I are alone in the conference room.

  


"Colonel Mackenzie, Mr. Webb told me you'd be perfect for this assignment and I trusted him. Part of that trust was based on the fact that last I knew you two were in a relationship. After what I just saw, I'm not so sure. I'm going to tell you what's involved in this assignment and then I want you to tell me what you think, okay?"

  


"Okay."

  


"Webb will be posing as a crooked government official meeting with some diplomats in the mid-east that we believe have ties to terrorist organizations. In order to get you into all the meetings including the ones behind the scenes. You would be posing as Webb's mistress."

  


"What!" I almost drop my coffee cup. 

  


"This is going to be a problem for you isn't it Colonel?" 

  


"I can do the assignment. I can be professional about this, but if you were counting on the relationship between Webb and I helping to sell the charade you should know a few things."

  


"Like what, Colonel."

  


"Webb and I broke up months ago. As far as I'm concerned it is over. I will play the part if ordered to but I will hate every minute of it."

  


"Okay thank you for telling me that Colonel. I'm going to bring Ms Gale and Mr. Webb back in now."

  


Kershaw calls them back into the room and waits for them to be seated before speaking.

  


"Mr. Webb, I'm afraid that I've decided against allowing this mission to go forward."

  


"What!" Webb yells.

  


"I'm just not convinced that this mission can be accomplished with the assets you're planning on using. If you want to rethink you're mission planning, I'd be willing to rethink my decision." 

  


With that said Director Kershaw leaves the conference room. As soon as the door closes Webb turns to face me.

  


"What did you tell him, Sarah?" Webb looks furious. Catherine seems to take this comment as her cue to leave. I wait for the door to close before responding.

  


"I told him that you and I were no longer an item and that you couldn't play off that to help our charade. I told him that I would play the part but I'd hate every minute of it. I also told him I'd previously told you no."

  


"Sarah, I need your help on this. I thought you'd love the chance to get out there where the action is. What happened to the Sarah Mackenzie I know?"

  


"I don't know. I just know I'm glad Kershaw pulled the plug. I'd have probably gone if ordered but the thought of playing your mistress makes me sick. I don't like you very much at the moment and having to play lovey-dovey would be hard. I'd do it, but it would be hard."

  


"You didn't seem to mind it too much in Paraguay or on Christmas Eve for that matter."

  


"What can I say? I've grown up since then."

  


"Sarah."

  


"Does your mother want grandchildren, Mr. Webb?" 

  


"Yes, why?"

  


"Because if you call me by my first name one more time you will be unable to provide your mother with those grandchildren, if you follow my meaning. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going home to my children."

  


"They're not yours, Colonel."

  


"That's where you're wrong. I didn't give birth to them but they are my children." I get up and leave the conference room slamming the door so hard that I'd be surprised if it was still on its hinges.

  


_Harm and Mac's House_

_2203 hours _

_03/06/2004_

  


I crawl into bed and pull the covers up over me. It's actually been a very nice day. After my meeting at CIA Headquarters I called the Admiral to let him know I'd be in on Monday. He didn't seem too happy about that until I explained that Kershaw decided to pull the plug on the operation. 

  


When I got home, everyone was cleaning the house. After that we ran Jen home, and then went grocery shopping after going out to lunch. The afternoon was spent playing with the kids and doing the usual household chores.

  


My thoughts, as I drift off are focused on how relieved I am that I don't have to go on that mission with Webb. 

  


"Mac! Wake up!" I force my eyes open and find Harm, Mattie and AJ all standing in my room.

  


"What's wrong, you guys?" Harm and Mattie look at me like I've lost my mind.

  


"You were screaming in your sleep, Mac." 

  


Now I remember I was dreaming of Paraguay.

  


"I just had a nightmare."

  


"What's a nightmare, Aunt Mac?" 

  


"I had a bad dream, AJ." I smile at AJ.

  


"Uncle Harm will stay here and protect you." AJ pulls Harm over to the bed as he says that.

"Right Uncle Harm!" 

  


"AJ, I'm not sure that's a good idea." 

  


"Why not? That's what mommy and daddy did for bad dreams."

  


Harm and I look at each other trying to figure out what to do. AJ's not likely to give this up. I try to tell Harm with my eyes that it's fine if he stays and he seems to get the message. 

  


"Okay, AJ I'll stay."

  


"Goodnight Uncle Harm. Good night Aunt Mac."

  


"Good night AJ." We say together has AJ leaves followed by Mattie.

  


"I'll make sure he gets back to bed you."

  


"Thanks, Mattie." We both tell her.

  


"So Mac, you want me to head back to my own room?"

  


"You can if you want to but you don't have to." 

  


"Okay then I'll stay just in case you need someone to talk to." 

  


"Okay."

  


Harm lays down on top of the blankets and quickly falls asleep. I lay there trying to go to sleep, it's not until I feel Harm roll over and spoon up against me, with his arms wrapped around me and my blankets, that I find myself drifting off again.


	18. part 22

_A/N: I realize March may be a little late for a snow storm but since I currently find myself snowed in, I couldn't resist. You know there's a lot of snow on the ground when the water company is asking people to dig out any fire hydrants on their property. Thanks to Chris for the beta._

  


_Spoilers: I do mention things that are supposed to happen in future episodes but all things considered I can't be to faithful to the spoilers, can I?_

  
  


_Harm and Mac's House_

_1635 hours_

_03/10/2004_

  


"Ah!" I squeal as I step into the entryway.

  


"Mac! You okay?"

  


"Yeah, Mattie, I'm fine I just slipped. Shoveling is done at least for awhile."

  


"Here let me help you out of that." 

  


Mattie reaches up and undoes my hood and unzips my jacket. I'm actually thankful for the help. I'm so cold I'm not sure I could get my gear off without help. I hate shoveling snow but the snow blower is out of gas and Harm's in the Netherlands so that leaves me. Mattie offered to help but one of us needs to stay inside with the boys. Once my snow gear is off I head for the kitchen.

  


"Uh, Mac? Why don't you go take a bath?" 

  


"That sounds wonderful, Mattie, but I need to get dinner started." And it does sound wonderful I got quite the workout out there.

  


"Already done, Mac. There's cornbread ready to go in the oven and leftover chili heating on the stove. Dinner should be ready by the time you're done."

  


"Thanks, Mattie. I think I will." I head upstairs and prepare a bath. It feels really good to soak in the hot water. It's amazing the muscles you work shoveling a foot of snow.

  


I can smell the chili and cornbread as I head back downstairs. I also hear music coming from the family room. I can't help chuckling when I recognize the music. AJ is watching Muppet Treasure Island and they're at the part where the ship's hands are singing We've got Cabin Fever. 

  


When I get to the living room I find Jimmy playing on the floor, Mattie reading, and AJ watching the movie. Mattie looks up at the sound of my chuckling.

  


"What's so funny, Mac?"

  


"Listen to the movie, Mattie." It only takes 15 seconds before Mattie's laughing too.

  


"That is kind of funny. Especially since we've been cooped up here for three days." 

  


"Exactly. How's dinner coming?"

  


"Ready whenever we are."

  


"Well the movie's almost over, let's wait until it's done. What are you reading?"  


"Romeo and Juliet. They covered it first semester."

  


"Need any help?"

  


"Nah, I got it. Thanks, Mac."

  


I sit down on the floor to play with Jimmy and watch the rest of the movie. We're down to the last few minutes of the movie when Mattie starts laughing. I turn to look at her and she's got tears in her eyes she's laughing that hard.  
  
"Uh, Mattie, last time I checked Romeo and Juliet was a tragedy not a comedy."

  


Mattie takes a couple of deep breaths trying to calm herself down.

  


"I know it is. A teacher gave me this book called a Red Reader. It has the play and some notes explaining what's being said, and some of them are hilarious."

  


"Like what?"

  


"Well during the nurses speech in Act I, there's a comment that says 'what part of shut up don't you understand.' But that's not my favorite."

  


"What's your favorite?"

  


"Well the part where they refer to Romeo as a raging hormone is good. My favorite though is during Romeo's first speech in the orchard it says 'Guys, I know you're tempted, but don't try these lines on your next date. Remember, Romeo is a trained professional.' Then they sum up the 25 lines of Romeo's speech into 'Juliet is a hotty!'"

  


She's right they are pretty funny.

  


"You know Mattie, you're right those are funny. If they'd had those when I was in school I might have paid more attention to Shakespeare."

  


"Yeah, I don't mind reading the play now, and I understand what's going on."

  


"That's important. Well the movie's over let's go eat dinner." 

  


"Yeah, dinner!" AJ yells tearing into the kitchen.   


Mattie looks at me. "Think he's hungry?"

  


"Maybe just a little." I pick up Jimmy and we head into dinner.

  


_Harm and Mac's kitchen_

_1805 hours_

_03/10/2004_

  


Mattie and I are just finishing cleaning up from dinner when the phone rings.

  


"I got it!" 

  


Mattie grabs the phone. I assume it's a friend from school who's as tired of being snowed in as she is. The conversation is only one minute and thirty-seven seconds old before I know I'm wrong.

  


"NO!" 

  


Mattie slams down the phone and runs upstairs to her room. I know she's in her room because I can hear the door slam from where I'm standing in the kitchen. I start to go after her but don't get very far before the phone rings again.

  


"Hello."

  


"Hello Mac, it's Tom Johnson. Can I talk to Mattie?"

  


"I'm not sure that's a good idea. She just ran to her room and slammed the door. Was she talking to you on the phone earlier?"

  


"Yeah, I wanted her to come see me."

  


"Tom, let me talk to her. We've been snowed in for 3 days and we're all a little cranky. Can you come by JAG Friday for lunch and we'll talk?"

  


"I can do that. Mac, I just want to make things right."

  


"I know. Like I said, let me talk to Mattie. I'll talk to you Friday."

  


"Okay bye, Mac."

  


"Bye."

  


I really wish Harm were here instead of Europe defending the SECNAV. I check on AJ in the family room before heading upstairs to talk to Mattie.

  


"Mattie, can I come in?"

  


"I guess." 

  


Mattie's sitting on her bed looking out the window. I sit next to her.

  


"I talked to your dad."

  


"I don't want to go see him."  


"What about if he came here to see you?"

  


"I don't know."

  


"Mattie, I know it's hard but you need to forgive him." Boy! if looks could kill I'd at least be in intensive care.

  


"Not for him, Mattie. It's not healthy to be this angry. Did Harm ever tell you about my parents?"

  


"No."

  


"My dad drank and was abusive. Not physically towards me but still abusive. My mom left him and me on my fifteenth birthday. For along time I was mad, and being mad defined a lot of what I was. That anger lead me to make some really stupid choices. It wasn't until my father was dying that I found a way to forgive him. I'm happier since that happened. I've still made some bad choices but I've been able to find my way back from them easier. All that anger is going to make it hard for you to be happy, and your mom would want you to be happy right?"

  


"Yeah."

  


"So will you work on things with your dad?"

  


"Yeah, I guess."

  


"We'll take things slow. I promise."

  


"Okay, I don't want to go stay with him though."

  


"That's fine if you're not ready. What if he came here for dinner Friday or Saturday night. Would that be okay?"

  


"I guess."

  


I figure that's the closest thing to acceptance I'm going to get. I give Mattie a quick hug and head back downstairs to check on the boys. I really can't wait for Harm to get back.

  
  


A/N2: Red Reader's really do exsist. They are published by Teacher's Discovery. They have them for Romeo and Juliet, MacBeth, Julius Caesar, The Scarlet Letter, The Tempest, and Edgar Allan Poe. The comments Mattie quote are actually from the Romeo and Juliet Red Reader.

  



	19. part 23

_A/N: Sorry about this taking so long. My only excuse is I had to do a book report for work and I hate book reports! At least this time I didn't have the threat of being grounded hanging over my head. Hopefully I'll be able to get another out over the weekend. Of course if there's a sudden warming trend in Nebraska and Iowa I'll have to take time out to build an ark, the last time there was even close to this much snow on the ground was 1960. _  


Thanks Chris for the Beta!

_Mac's Office___

_0805 hours_

_03/12/2004_   


I unlock my office and head for my desk. Staff Call isn't until 0830 and I really need the time. Harm and Sturgis are still in the Netherlands defending the SECNAV, so everything at home has fallen on me. I love having a family but sometimes all the changes are a bit overwhelming.   


"Hey, Mac."   


I sit up with a start.   


"Harm! When did you get back?"   


"About an hour ago. We came straight here to report in."   


"How did it go?"   


"The case or reporting in?"   


"Both." I chuckle.   


"Well we won the case and the Admiral gave us the day off to get over the jet lag. So, I think things went well."   


"Sounds like it."   


"I thought I'd head home and take a nap. Anything you need me to do?"   


"Not really. I should be here in the office all day except for lunch."   


"What's going on at lunch, Mac?"   


"I'm having lunch with Mattie's dad. He wants to see her but she's fighting it. We're going to try and work something out."   


"What time are you supposed to meet?"   


"He's supposed to meet me here at 1300 hours. Why?"   


"Should I join you?" 

"Sure. Actually I think that would be a really good idea Harm."

"You do?"   


"Well, yeah don't you think we should present a united front on this? I mean I'm not going to force Mattie to move back with her dad, but I do think it would be good for her to work on her relationship with him. Not to mention the fact that you're Mattie's guardian."   


"Agreed. I'll be back about 1245. Okay?"   


"Okay. See you later." Harm turns to leave.   


"Hey Harm?" You can do this marine. Don't back down now.   


"Yeah, Mac."   


"I missed you." He tilts his head and just looks at me for a second before smiling. He must be exhausted. His smile isn't up to its usual wattage.   


"Missed you too." He continues on his way out of the bullpen and I start to get ready for staff call.   


_Harm and Mac's house___

_1730 hours_

_03/12/2004_  


"We're home." I call as I stop by the door to take Jimmy and AJ out of their winter gear.   


"Here Mac, let me help."   


"Thanks, Mattie. Where's Harm?"   


"He's in the kitchen making dinner."   


"Did I hear my name?"   


"Uncle Harm!"   


"Hey buddy, how are you?" Harm picks AJ up and gives him a hug.   


"Okay, we missed you."   


"I missed you too buddy. Why don't you and Jimmy go play for a little while? Mac and I need to talk to Mattie."   


"Okay!" AJ heads for the family room with Jimmy crawling after him. Jimmy's got very good speed when he crawls and has no problem keeping up with his older brother.   


"Uh-oh. What's wrong guys?"   


"Nothing's wrong Mattie. Mac and I had lunch with your dad today and wanted to talk to you about it."   


"I'm not going to go live with him." Mattie's standing with her hands on her hips looking the part of the rebellious teenager.   


"Hey, relax. We didn't say anything about you going to live with him did we?" I calmly tell her. "Let's go into the kitchen, okay?" I lead the way and Harm and Mattie follow without question.   


"So what did he want?"   


"I'm going to assume by he you mean your father." Harm starts taking salad fixings out of the fridge trying to keep things as calm as possible while we talk.   


"If that's what you want to call him. Personally, I think that title should be earned and he hasn't earned it."   


"Okay fair enough. Help me with the salad, Mattie."   


Mattie starts tearing lettuce. You can tell she's angry by the way she's tearing the lettuce. I decide to step into the conversation.   


"Mattie, he knows you're mad at him and he knows that he's earned your anger. He just wants a chance."   


"He doesn't deserve one!"   


Harm starts to open his mouth but I shake my head trying to tell him to let me take this one.   


"He might not deserve the chance but you do."   


"Huh?"   


"Mattie, you're so angry at him and you need to let that go. I'm speaking from personal experience. It isn't healthy to hold onto all the anger. You only see one side of your father. There is more to him and seeing those other sides will help to let go of the anger. Don't work on your relationship for him, do it for you."   


"I'll try but I don't want to live with him."   


Harm's chopping veggies for the salad and he looks up in shock. I don't think he can believe his ears.   


"That's fine and he understands that." I tell her.   


"He does?" Now Mattie's the one that looks shocked.   


"Yes, he does." Harm verifies what I just told her.   


"Okay, so what's the plan?" She looks at both of us.   


"He's going to come over tomorrow for dinner." I tell her.   


"And next weekend he's going to go out to the hangar with you and me." Harm supplies.   


"Really?"   


"Well, yeah. It's time for another flying lesson isn't it?"   


"He's going to come along. He never went near the planes."   


Mattie's looking at the both of us like we're nuts to even suggest her dad would want to go near an airfield.   


"Well Harm told him you were a natural and how important flying was to you. I suggested it might be a good way to spend time with you."   


Mattie just looks at us for a minute.   


"Mattie?"   


"Yeah, Harm."   


"Are those plans okay with you?"   


"I guess so."   


"Good."   


At that point my stomach growls. Mattie looks at Harm and then laughs.   


"Harm I think we need to feed her."   


Harm chuckles.   


"I think you're right. Why don't you go get the boys and Mac and I will get the food dished up?"   


"Okay."   


Harm waits until Mattie's left the room before he turns to me.   


"Mac?"   


"Yes."   


"Good job with her."   


"Thanks but I think it was a team effort."   


"Well, we always have made a good team."   


With that said, Harm takes the salad to the kitchen table while I'm left to think about that fact that through everything we still make a good team.


	20. Part 24

_A/N: It is actually possible to watch a video so much that you destroy the tape. My brother managed to do this with a copy of Star Wars when we were kids. Just thought I should mention it in case someone doesn't know that. _

1. _Just a reminder I don't own JAG. I think this story is proof that if I did things would be a heck of a lot different then they are now! _

___I should probably issue a language warning. There's a couple of swear words in this section. I really think the Farsi words are worse than______the English ones, but that's just my opinion. _

___Harm and Mac's house_

___3/13/2004_

___1831 hours_

Tom Johnson and I are cleaning up from dinner. Harm and Mattie took the boys upstairs to get them ready for bed. I think dinner went okay but I'm not really sure. Mattie didn't say much to Tom, but she did stay in the room all through dinner.

"So, Tom, how do you think it went?"

"Actually, I think it went pretty well."

I must shoot him a strange look because he starts chuckling.

"You really think it went well?"

"Yeah, Mac I do. My counselor told me that as angry as Mattie is I should count anytime we're in the same room and I don't get called a jackass a victory."

I snort at that.

"Actually I can guarantee that she won't call you a jackass. Now a mardekeh or coonee are possibilities."

"And what language is that?"

"Farsi."

"And what do they mean?"

"Mardekeh means worthless man and coonee means one who shares his butt."

Tom stops loading the dishwasher and turns to face me.

"You know, I'm not sure which of those three is the biggest insult."

"Well, it would be a tough call. Harm and Mattie should be back down in a minute or two. Do you want to stay for the movie?"

"I don't know. Do you think I should?"

"Actually, I do. I think it'll help prove to Mattie that you're serious about being part of her life but not trying to shove your way in."

"I am too. I wasn't back around Christmas but I am now."

"What changed?"

"I started going to meetings. Those meetings helped me realize just how much I've let Mattie down over the years. She's learned that I can't be trusted and I don't mean what I say. I have to give her reason to trust me."

"You do realize that it might not happen before she finishes high school."

"Yeah, I do and I'm trying to accept that fact."

"Aunt Mac!" AJ comes tearing into the room with Mattie not far behind.

"Hi, AJ. You want to go watch a movie?"

"Yeah. Lion King One Half?"

"Oh, you want to watch Lion King One and A Half. You think Mattie can handle seeing it again?" It's a good thing I bought the DVD instead of the video because AJ would have destroyed it by now.

"Yeah it's fine. I can handle it." Mattie smiles at AJ.

"Okay, Where's Harm?"

"Jimmy was kind of cranky so Harm was going to try and get him in bed."

"Oh okay. Well shall we?" I motion in the direction of the living room.

Mattie and AJ head for the living room, as they go Mattie calls back over her shoulder, "You can come too."

"I'm going to assume she means you, Tom. You coming?"

"Yeah, I think I will."

___Harm and Mac's House_

___2037 hours_

___3/13/2004_

The movie is over and AJ's in bed. Tom and Harm have gone to get his coat and discuss next Saturday.

"Mac, can you come here?"

I head for the entryway. 

"What do you need, Harm?" I ask but Tom answers.

"I just wanted to tell you thanks for having me over and I'll see you next week."

"Okay, we'll see you next week."

"Can I say something?" 

All three of us turn and look at Mattie in shock. Harm is the first one to speak.

"Sure Mattie."

She turns to face Tom. "I heard you and Mac earlier. I'm willing to give you a chance but you have to understand some things."

"What?"

"I'm not going to call you dad. You are my father but that's just biology. The person that's been there for me is Harm and that make him my dad. I can't promise that I'll ever call you dad, because it depends on you and whether you earn that title. I can however promise you this, if you ever let me down like you have in the past, I will kick your ass!" 

With that Mattie runs out of the room. Harm and I both turn back to Tom ready to smooth things over but he seems calm.

"Well I'll see the two of you next weekend."

"Are you okay, Tom?" Harm asks. I'm sure he's thinking that Tom seems awfully calm for what just happened.

"Not really but I'm heading to a meeting so I will be."

"Okay Tom, call if you need anything." I tell him. I have two reasons for this. One is support for a fellow alcoholic. The other reason is I don't want him to fall of the wagon because of what Mattie said. She doesn't need the guilt.

"I will."

Harm locks the door after Tom.

"Well, Harm, shall we go check on Mattie?"

"Actually, I'll go check on Mattie. Why don't you go make some popcorn and I'll meet you in the living room in 10 minutes? We can watch another movie."

"Sounds good to me, flyboy."

"See you in ten minutes, Mac."


	21. part 25

_A/N: Sorry it took me so long to get this out. I got distracted by a need to both write a Valentine's story and torture Webb. I also had some problems writing this chapter. I knew where I wanted to go but had trouble getting there.  
  
Spoiler Warning: There are references to some of the events in 'Crash' but considering I don't follow the details of the case, I'm not sure it should count as spoilers  
  
Thanks again to Chris for the beta, especially since the more trouble I have with the substance of a chapter the more trouble I have with the mechanics of the chapter!  
  
JAG Headquarters  
1310 Hours  
3/17/2004_  
  
It's good to be home but I'm not looking forward to this meeting with the admiral. Harm and I just got back from investigating a ramp strike. Sturgis was already out of town, so both Harm and I had to go. Jason came and stayed with the kids.  
  
The trip is over but the case is just beginning. If the admiral does what I think he's going to do things could get very tense at home. I think I'll end up prosecuting the CAG for dereliction of duty and Harm will be defending.  
  
Normally this wouldn't be a problem but Harm didn't agree with the decision to bring charges. I'm not even sure he agrees that the pilot committed suicide. I'm not sure if it's because he believes that no pilot would endanger others while committing suicide, or if he doesn't agree that the CAG should have kept the pilot out of the air. Whichever it was he was pretty upset with me for even suggesting charges.  
  
"The admiral said for you to go right in."  
  
"Thank you, Coates."  
  
Here we go.  
  
_Mac's Office  
1345 hours  
3/18/2004_  
  
As I walk into my office, I can't help but wish I'd never suggested bringing the CAG up on DOD charges. Harm's mad at me. Well, mad might be too strong a word but he's not happy with me. He didn't go running with me this morning and we brought both cars to work. Harm told me he just wanted to drive his vette since the weather's nice, but I don't believe him. I would if he wasn't avoiding me. He's stayed out of the break room, and he went to lunch without me.  
  
Not only am I prosecuting a case that Harm's mad at me about but the person who should be my star witness is threatening to commit perjury. I just got back from interviewing the widow and she doesn't want her husband's death ruled anything but an accident. Of course, if it's an accident she gets a tidy sum from the Navy and won't have to worry as much about how she's going to raise her son. She's got no job and no college degree. She's not qualified to do anything that would pay enough to support a child.   
  
I told her I could subpoena her. Her response was not what a prosecuting attorney wants to hear. She told me to go ahead and subpoena her, I could make her testify but I couldn't force her to remember the last couple of conversations she and her husband had. I can't prove the pilot was suicidal without her testimony, but I may not be able to prove it with her testimony either. Actually if she follows through on her threat, putting her on the stand may help make Harm's case instead of mine.  
  
Maybe I should go talk to Harm and see if we can reach a plea bargain.  
  
_Mac's Office  
1850 Hours  
3/18/2004_  
  
I need to get home. Harm turned me down on the plea bargain. Actually he told me I was nuts to even suggest it, his client was not guilty and there was no way they were even going to consider a plea bargain.  
  
I had to stay late and work on my prosecution strategy. The thing is I promised Harm I'd be home in time to help get the boys ready for bed and I'm not going to make it. I should be able to get home before AJ goes to bed but Harm's going to have to handle getting the boys ready. I meant to leave earlier but I was talking to the widow again to see if I could get her to be reasonable.   
  
I pack up my laptop and my files so that I can head home. I hope I can get some more work done tonight so that I don't have to cram it all in during the weekend. I wonder if I should stop and pick up some takeout for dinner. I decide against it. I don't want to get home any later than I have to.  
  
_Harm and Mac's house  
1935 Hours  
3/18/2004_  
  
"Hey everybody, I'm home."  
  
"Hey, Mac."   
  
I head in the direction of Mattie's voice. I find her in the kitchen doing the dishes.  
  
"Hi, Mattie. Where is everybody?"  
  
"Jimmy's in bed and Harm's reading AJ a story before bedtime."  
  
"Oh, okay."  
  
"What did you have for dinner?"  
  
"Spaghetti. We left you some in the fridge."  
  
"Thanks." I take the gladware container out of the fridge and pop it into the microwave.  
  
"Hey Mac?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, you're working late and Harm's grouchy. I figure something has to be wrong."   
  
I knew Mattie was a smart kid.  
  
" I recommended charges in relationship to that crash Harm and I investigated. Harm didn't agree with my recommendation, now we're on opposite sides in the case. I'm prosecuting and Harm's defending. I had to work late because my case isn't coming together like I thought it would. So, Harm's grouchy huh?"  
  
"Yeah, I was asking him about the crash and he snapped at me. He also was upset when you weren't home in time to help get the boys ready for bed."  
  
"Okay, I'll go talk to him. Why don't you go work on your homework?"  
  
"I'm going. I'm going." Mattie rolls her eyes just like Chloe does when I suggest something she doesn't want to do.  
  
I rinse my dishes and put them in the dishwasher before heading upstairs. Harm and I meet in the hallway outside AJ's room.  
  
"You're home."  
  
"Yeah, sorry I'm late. I'm having some problems with my case."  
  
"What's the matter? It not the slam dunk you expected? You know, Mac, sometimes a duck is just a duck."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"This was an accident, plain and simple. You just wanted charges because to you the words are more important than the actions."  
  
"Excuse me?" Who does he think he is?  
  
"Well it's true, Mac, actions speak louder than words for everybody I know but you. You take whatever anybody says as one hundred percent truth even when their actions say something else."  
  
"Really? What makes you think that?" We're both yelling now.  
  
"Let's see. You accept a ring from a man you've never dated. Clayton takes you on a mission to Paraguay and almost gets you tortured and killed yet you start a relationship with him after he expresses interest. I say not yet and you hear never. My having an immediate answer to your question was more important than the fact I followed you halfway around the world. Oh, I resign my commission and spend my own money to come rescue you in Paraguay but when I don't immediately say I love you, I get told that we'll never work because we both want to be on top. I didn't want to be on top, Mac, I just wanted to be with the woman I loved."   
  
I'm in shock. I can't say anything. Harm looks at me for a second.  
  
"I should have known you wouldn't have anything to say."  
  
Thirty-nine seconds later I hear the door to the garage slam. Ten seconds after that I hear the garage door being opened. He left but I still can't move.  
  
Then I hear the crying. I look around and discover AJ and Mattie standing at the bottom of the stairs. They heard us and know Harm left. AJ's bawling and Mattie is trying to calm him down even though she's crying too. The sight of my kids, and I do think of them as mine, crying snaps me out of my stupor and I move to calm the two of them down, all the while making promises to fix this mess. If I only knew how.  



	22. Part 25 and a half

_A/N: I'm calling this part 25 and ½ because everyone told me to fix 'this' in the next part and I'm not fixing it yet. This is a conversation between Harm and the Admiral.   
  
JAG Headquarters  
Harm's Office  
2316 Hours  
3/18/2004_  
  
Tomorrow morning is going to be quite the shock to the admiral. I think the last time my paper work was this caught up was before I finished law school. I'm not sure what made me come here. Actually, I do know what made me come here, going to a bar just didn't feel right. I know that's the stereotypical thing for a male to do after a fight at home, but it just didn't feel right.  
  
For one thing, going home drunk isn't an option. I wouldn't do that to either Mac or Mattie. For another, it was a stupid fight. I'm not even that angry with Mac. I don't agree with the decision to charge the CAG, but that's the pilot in me talking not the lawyer. If I'm being completely honest, I can see Mac's point.   
  
So why did I storm out of the house? That's a good question. I left because I was mad and I didn't want things to go downhill any further than they already had. I was mad at Mac because she wasn't home to help get the boys ready for bed. I was mad at Mattie for all the questions she was asking about the crash. I have problems even thinking about ramp strikes, and I had to investigate this one.   
  
"Commander Rabb? "  
  
"Admiral. What are you doing here? " What am I doing? You don't ask your CO questions like that, even if you are both out of uniform.  
  
"I think that's my line Commander? "   
  
"Just catching up on some paperwork, sir."  
  
"Right." the admiral snorts.  
  
"Sir? "  
  
"You didn't stay late to do paperwork before you inherited three kids, you expect me to believe you're doing it now."  
  
"A good point. Mac and I had a fight. Here seemed like a better plan than a bar."  
  
"Very adult of you, Harm."  
  
"I'm trying, sir. I'll just head home now, sir."  
  
"Hold up, Commander. Join me in my office for a drink? " I don't know why he phrases that like a question. It's not like I'm going to tell him no. I've been on his good side and his bad side, and I prefer his good side, and refusing your CO's hospitality isn't a good career move.  
  
"Certainly sir."  
  
I put my keys back in my pocket and follow the admiral to his office where he pours us each a bourbon. He sits at his desk, I sit in front of it.  
  
"So what was the fight about?"  
  
"Well, sir."  
  
"Drop the sir, Harm. We're talking man to man, it's AJ."   
  
Oh great, he's going to try and fix me.   
  
"AJ, the fight was stupid. Mac wasn't home when she promised and I snarked at her about her making an accident out to be something more because she values words more than actions."  
  
"That's what makes her such a good attorney, Harm."  
  
"I know that AJ, it just gets to me sometimes."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I can't seem to talk to her. I can be wonderfully clear in a courtroom but when it comes to talking to Mac, I can't get the message across and my actions don't mean anything to her."  
  
"Like the fact she couldn't figure out that you're in love with her simply from the fact you resigned your commission to rescue her in Paraguay?"   
  
"Exactly."  
  
"Okay, Harm, but that doesn't seem like enough to have you here doing paperwork after 2300."  
  
"You're right. I was already upset because I had Mattie asking about the crash. I hate investigating ramp strikes, it's the only time I don't want to go to a carrier. All of that combined to start the fight, and before I knew what was happening, I was telling Mac that I resigned my commission and went to Paraguay because I loved her."  
  
The admiral has put his drink down and is listening to every word I say.  
  
"And what did Mac say?"  
  
"Nothing. She just looked at me, so I left."  
  
"I see."   
  
AJ turns and fixes himself another drink. He makes a gesture to offer me another one but I politely decline.  
  
"Harm, do you know what happen between Meredith and me?"  
  
"No, sir, uh AJ."  
  
"The hell of it is, neither do I. I know what I saw but I don't know Meredith's side of things. And while I doubt talking to her would have changed things, I might be wrong."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"I went to her house after work one evening. I went upstairs into her bedroom. Her friend, Marco, was coming out of her bathroom, Meredith was half asleep in her bed."  
  
I can't believe he's telling me this.  
  
"What did you do AJ?"  
  
"I turned around and left. I then avoided all of Meredith's attempts to talk to me. Eventually she gave up and I'm back to being alone."  
  
"It's not the same thing AJ."  
  
"Actually it kind of is. You didn't get the reaction from Mac you wanted so you assumed the worst and left. If you run true to form you'll ignore any attempts Mac makes to communicate about this until she gives up. You say you went to Paraguay because you loved her, do you still love her?"  
  
"Uh, sir."  
  
"Can the sir, answer the question, and no excuses about the regulations."  
  
"Yes, I still love her."  
  
"Then I suggest you two take tomorrow and work on figuring things out. Those kids need both of you."  
  
"Tomorrow's Friday, AJ." I'm a little shocked that he'd give both of us a day off.   
  
AJ looks at his watch for a second before responding.  
  
"Actually today's Friday, but I know that neither you nor Mac have court, and you can prepare your cases from home over the weekend. You wouldn't be any good to me here, and I'd be willing to bet a star that Mac's not getting any sleep with you not home. Both of you take the day and come in Monday ready to work. That is an order."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
We both stand up and head for the door. I head back to my office to grab my coat , the admiral and I walk out of the bullpen together.  
  
Now to head home and deal with Mac.  



	23. Part 26

_A/N: I'm making myself get this part out before I give into my urge to torture Clay some more.  
  
  
Harm and Mac's House  
2330 Hours  
3/18/2004_  
  
My tea is getting cold, but I'm not sure I care. It took me 37 minutes to get Mattie and AJ to bed after Harm stormed out of the house. Since then I've just been sitting up thinking. I was hoping Harm would come home and we could talk but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. He's probably sitting in a bar somewhere.  
  
He's right you know. I do seem to put more value on words than actions. I really don't know why I do that, but I do. You'd think having the childhood I did, actions would seem more important. My dad was always apologizing for hitting my mom and swearing he'd never do it again. The only time that was the truth was right before my 15th birthday, of course that's because my mom wasn't around for him to hit.   
  
Maybe the reason I need to hear the words so badly is because Harm's the only person I've ever known that keeps his promises. None of the other men in my life could ever keep a promise. Hell, Clay can barely keep a dinner date.  
  
_Harm and Mac's house  
0045 Hours  
3/19/2004_  
  
I turn the SUV off and take a moment to gather my thoughts before heading into the house. I kind of hope Mac's not up because if she is, she'll want to talk and I really think I need some sleep first. We have the day off tomorrow, we can talk after we take the boys to the sitter.  
  
The lights are still on in the living room so I head that way. I start to say Mac's name when I notice her laying on the couch sound asleep. It takes me a moment to reach a decision. I hope she doesn't pound me for this.   
  
I almost pull it off. I have Mac in my arms and am to the stairs when she wakes up.  
  
"Harm?"  
  
"Yeah, it's me, Mac. Go back to sleep."  
  
"Where'd you go?"  
  
"Believe it or not, I went to work."  
  
She opens an eye and I can tell she doesn't believe me. I can't help the small chuckle that escapes.  
  
"Okay, we need to talk, Harm."  
  
''I know but I think we both need to be awake first. Can we talk in the morning?"  
  
"We have to work."  
  
"No, we don't. The admiral ordered us to take the day."  
  
"You called him?"  
  
How stupid does she think I am? "No, he was in the office and we had a drink. He wanted to know what had me at the office so late."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"We'll talk in the morning, Mac." I tell her as I place her on her bed. She gives a slight grunt that I assume means okay.   
  
"Harm!" I spin back toward Mac and notice she's sitting up and looking around for me.  
  
"What's wrong, Mac?"  
  
"Nothing. I just needed to tell you the kids heard us fighting and were really upset."  
  
"How upset?"  
  
"It took me almost an hour to get them both calm. Mattie was afraid you'd come back drunk."  
  
"I wouldn't do that to either of you."  
  
"That's what I told her. I think AJ was worried that you wouldn't come back at all."  
  
"Okay. I'll talk to them tomorrow at breakfast."  
  
"Sounds good. Good night Harm."  
  
"Good night, Mac."  
  
  
_Harm and Mac's house  
0800 Hours  
3/19/2004_  
  
It feels strange not having to go to work on a Friday. I'm loading the dishwasher and cleaning up the kitchen while Harm runs the boys to the sitter. Mattie woke us up at 6:30 in an absolute panic that we'd be late and get in trouble with the admiral.  
  
Harm and Mattie fixed breakfast while I got the boys ready for the day. Harm then volunteered to take the boys to the sitter so that he could spend some time with AJ. Mattie and I talked before her bus arrived. She summarized what she and Harm had talked about. Harm told her his reason for leaving had very little to do with him being angry. Harm explained he had walked away to keep things from getting any uglier between us.  
  
I'm now waiting for Harm to come back and we're going to go somewhere and talk. Harm actually suggested that we might accomplish more if we tried talking on neutral territory. I'm not sure I buy it, but if it makes him feel better than I'll try it.  
  
The garage door's opening, guess Harm's back. I wonder where we're going.  
  
_Rock Creek Park  
1002 Hours  
3/19/2004_  
  
We stopped by Panera for bagels and coffee before heading to one of the picnic areas at Rock Creek Park.  
  
Neither of us says a word during the drive or the walk to the picnic table. I'm beginning to think Harm's going to make me start this conversation when it happens.  
  
"Mac?"  
  
"Yeah, Harm."  
  
"I want to apologize for last night. I wasn't really that mad at you."  
  
"I need to apologize too, Harm. I should have been home to help you with the kids."  
  
"Why weren't you?"  
  
Oh, boy. I'm not sure I really want to answer that question. I supposed I'd better but I can't get too specific.  
  
"I was talking to the pilot's widow and the conversation took longer than I expected. Let's just say what I thought would be a slam dunk isn't shaping up that way."  
  
"That's too bad."   
  
I can't believe he said that. Like my case not being a slam dunk doesn't help his client.  
  
"Seriously Mac, I know what it's like to have the bottom fall out of a case. I also understand what that means for your work hours."  
  
Okay, that's not so bad.   
  
"Thanks for understanding, Harm."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
"So do you want to tell me what was bothering you last night?"  
  
"Lots of things. I was upset that you weren't there when you said you'd be."  
  
"And that I recommended prosecution for the CAG."  
  
"Not really."  
  
I know my mouth is hanging open but I can't seem to help it. I am completely and totally shocked by that comment.  
  
"I'm not sure I believe that Harm."  
  
"Mac, I do understand your point of view that's not what had me upset."  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"It was a ramp strike."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"I don't like investigating ramp strikes. They bring up bad memories. The fact everyone thinks this guy killed himself made it even worse this time. Trust me if you're planning on killing yourself there are better ways than a ramp strike."  
  
I never thought about things like that. I never even considered the possibility investigating a ramp strike might be hard for Harm.  
  
"Why didn't you say something?"  
  
"Why, so I could have my feelings ignored and trivialized?"  
  
"We wouldn't do that."  
  
"Yeah, right." Harm snorts.  
  
"We wouldn't."   
  
"Right. That's why the admiral ordered me to take a case I told him I didn't think I could be objective about. That's why you didn't come visit me in the brig. That's why you didn't let me answer the question about being okay before you left with Webb. That's why you didn't realize I had a concussion in Paraguay. That's why you told me the only thing I had in my life was the Navy. That's why the admiral told me I'm not a team player and should go wrestle alligators for a living. You're all so concerned about my feelings."  
  
I should say something. I really should say something but I'm in shock. I never realized Harm felt that way. Of course I never really thought about it either.   
  
"I'm sorry, Harm."  
  
"You're sorry for what?"  
  
"For not being a very good friend. I promise I'll try harder."  
  
Harm doesn't say anything. Usually this would make me angry but if I look carefully, I can almost see the wheels turning in his brain.  
  
"I think that's something we both need to work on, Mac."  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"I've said some really nasty things to you over the past couple of years. That's not being a very good friend either."  
  
"So it's something we both need to work on."  
  
Silence. I'm trying really hard to not be bothered by the silence. It looks like Harm's just staring off into space, but I think he's thinking.  
  
"Harm?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Did you mean what you said last night?"  
  
"Depends on what part of what I said you're talking about."  
  
He's going to make me ask. He knows what I'm talking about but he's not going to admit it.  
  
"About coming to Paraguay to be with the woman you loved."  
  
"Yeah, I meant it. I came after you because I loved you."  
  
"Loved? Past tense? Do you still love me?"  
  
"I don't know, Mac."  
  
"How can you not know if you love someone, Harm?"  
  
"It's really not that hard, believe it or not. You said never. I took you at your word. The way you take me at mine, or try to anyway. I spent a lot of the next few months trying to get over you and over JAG. I'm not sure I'm over you but I'm not sure I'm still in love with you either."  
  
"I guess I can understand that."  
  
We're back to staring off into the distance.  
  
"Mac?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Why'd you say never?"  
  
"Because I realized you were never going to say the words and I couldn't accept that fact that you could love me and not say the words. I was trying to move on."  
  
"And did you?"  
  
"If I had, I'd be engaged to Webb by now."  
  
"God forbid!"  
  
"He's not that bad, Harm. I'm not with him because I finally realized that if somebody loves me they'll take me as is. Clay wanted to change me. Hell, all the men in my life have wanted to change me. Mic, Dalton, John, and Chris all wanted to change me. Even my father wanted to change me. He wanted a son. You're the only one who hasn't tried to change me."  
  
"So where do we go from here, Mac?"  
  
"I don't know. Where do you want to go?"  
  
"I'm not sure."  
  
"Well, I guess that's something we need to figure out."  
  
"And we will. I promise we will."  
  
Right now, that's good enough for me. I know how Harm is about his promises.  


1. 


	24. part 27

_Okay in my little alternate universe the episode with Mac killing Sadik happened. The problems afterwards happen. The whole thing with Clay doesn't happen. (While I need to lose a few pounds, I have no desire to do so by making myself sick!)  
  
Disclaimer and other info in part 1 but just a reminder:_If I owned JAG, Webb wouldn't have been tortured almost to death. He'd have been tortured to death!  
  
_Mac's office  
1300 hours  
4/1/2004_  
  
I don't believe this! I absolutely don't believe this! The nerve of that man! He says I'm having problems dealing with things, this from the man who snapped at everyone and everything when he broke up with Meredith. He's the poster boy for problems dealing with things!  
  
So what if I'm a little snappy? I killed a man last week. I think I'm entitled. The man should be thanking me, not making me take me leave until I get some counseling.  
  
~Knock, Knock~  
  
"Enter."  
  
"Hey, Mac. What happened in with the Admiral?"  
  
"He put me on leave until I see a shrink."  
  
"Oh, okay."   
  
Okay! Okay! What does he mean by that crack?  
  
"What do you mean okay? You think I'm cracking up? Is that what you're trying to say?"  
  
"No, Mac that's not what I'm trying to say."  
  
"Well than what are you saying?"  
  
"Power down for a second and I'll tell you."  
  
"I was worried he was going to bring charges or something. I'm not surprised he ordered counseling. Isn't that standard procedure?"  
  
"Well yeah, but why order me to take leave?"  
  
Harm chuckles.  
  
"What's so funny flyboy?" I growl.  
  
"Ordering you to take leave would be the fastest way to get you to go to counseling. A couple of days at home and you'll have cabin fever so bad you'll be looking forward to the counseling session."  
  
"Well I'm not going to go for any damn counseling. I've done fine dealing with things on my own in the past I can handle this too!"  
  
Harm just shakes his head.  
  
"You have a strange definition of doing fine, Mac." Harm fires as his parting shot and then turns and leaves without saying another word.  
  
I continue to toss things in my briefcase so that I can get out of here before I have another run in with the admiral.  
  
_Harm and Mac's House   
2000 hours  
4/1/2004_  
  
It's time for the boys' bath. Since he worked late, Harm's still eating dinner so I head for the living room to get the boys.   
  
"It's eight o'clock. Bath time boys."  
  
AJ looks up from his toys.  
  
"No!"  
  
I see red. Before I even realize what I'm doing. I'm across the living room and I've picked AJ up and smacked him on the bottom, hard. AJ starts screaming the minute I pick him up off the floor.  
  
  
"Mac!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Why don't you take a minute to relax and I give the boys their bath?"  
  
That arrogant . . .   
  
"Uncle Harm!" AJ runs over and hides behind Harm's legs.  
  
That one action calms me down more effectively than a bucket of cold water in my face.  
  
"That's a good idea. I'll be upstairs."  
  
"Okay, we'll come tell you good night."   
  
Harm picks Jimmy up and the three of them head upstairs. Once they're out of the room I drop to a chair and take a couple of relaxing breaths. I then head to the kitchen to make a couple of phone calls.  
  
Ten minutes later I head to my room to pack.  
  
"What are you doing, Mac?"  
  
"What does it look like, Harm? I'm packing."  
  
"Talk to me, Mac. What's going on? You running?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
"Okay then what are you doing?" Harm's sounding angry.  
  
I stop what I'm doing and turn to face him. I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. I'm sure Harm's going to argue with me and try to keep me here.  
  
"I decided that the admiral's right, I am doing a damn lousy job of pretending nothing happened. I will talk to a counselor but I'm not ready yet. I have a plane ticket for Arizona for tomorrow morning and I'll be back on Monday. I have an appointment with a shrink at Betheseda Tuesday morning. Hopefully by then I'll be ready to talk."   
  
"Heading to Red Rock Mesa?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Okay, sounds like a plan. You need a ride to the airport tomorrow?"  
  
I just stare at him.  
  
"Mac?"  
I mentally shake myself. "A ride would be wonderful, my flight leaves at 0830. Aren't you going to argue with me?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"You have a plan for dealing with what's happened. I understand that going to Red Rock Mesa and being alone is part of that plan. It's like when I go flying to get a handle on things."  
  
He gets it. He actually understands.  
  
"Thanks Harm."  
  
"You're welcome. You want to come tell the boys goodnight."  
  
"Yeah, I need to talk to AJ. Do you think he'll understand why I'm going away?"  
  
"Just tell him it's for work, because in a way it is."  
  
"Works for me. Let's tuck the boys in."  



	25. Part 28

_Sorry this took so long. The school I work at is on the Trimester system and we just had end of term tests. I'm the teacher the kids go to for help on their tests, so the end of the term is always hectic for me. I had as many as 9 different tests going on at one time. Also I actually had this back from the beta yesterday but decided to add a little more before posting. This chapter isn't very exciting and is mostly day to day stuff but I promise I'm headed somewhere!  
  
  
Reagan National Airport  
1600 Hours   
4/5/2004_  
  
I probably should have done this 11 months ago, at the latest. A trip to Red Rock always helps clear my head. There is just something about being out there that makes everything seem so much clearer.   
  
I feel calmer and more focused than I have in months. Actually, it's probably more like years. The last time I felt this way was when I got back from the Guadalcanal after Mic and I broke up. After that TAD I was at peace with myself and knew what I wanted. I'm not sure when I lost that, definitely after Paraguay, it might have started with Bud's accident.  
  
I know I still have to meet with the shrink but I don't dread it like I did. As a matter of fact, depending on what she's like, I might even go beyond what's required. The time away let me see what I need to work on, now I just have to find the right person to help me. Everything that happened after Paraguay helped Harm grow up. I think I've made some progress but I still have a way to go. I broke up with Clay but I'm still keeping Harm out of my life. Heck, I'm keeping everybody out of my life. I'm only superficially involved with the kids and I want more than that.  
  
I'm acting like I'm going to be able to get to work on this right away and I'm not. Of course if this plane doesn't land I'm never going to get home, let alone meet with the shrink tomorrow. Even after the plane lands I still have a long taxi ride home to look forward to. Harm offered to come get me, but since the plane was supposed to land at 1435, I told him I would just grab a cab. Not a major hardship in the middle of the afternoon but no fun during rush hour.  
  
"Ladies and gentleman we've been cleared to land please stay in your seats until the plane reaches the gate."  
  
"It's about time, any longer and I'd be in DC for my funeral not my mother's" my neighbor mutters loud enough to gain a flight attendant's attention.   
  
Not to mention any longer and we'd have to deal with his hangover. I finally found a man who could drink more than my father.  
  
Most people start gathering their belongings as soon as the plane touches the pavement but I don't move even after we've reached the gate. I figure since I have no one waiting for me there's no need to rush. It's still going to take me forever to get home. I'm the last person off the plane and as I come up the ramp I get a huge surprise. Harm is standing by the ticket counter and he's dressed in civvies.  
  
"Mac!" He calls to me and I smile at him.  
  
"Harm. What are you doing here?"  
  
"The admiral gave me the afternoon so we could come pick you up."  
  
"We? Harm, I hate to be the one to tell you this but you're by yourself."  
  
"I'm only by myself because Mattie took AJ to the bathroom." He gives me a funny little grin.  
  
"Oh, Okay. Sorry you had to wait so long."  
  
"Are you the reason the plane was late?"  
  
"Of course not. That's your job."   
  
Harm just cocks an eyebrow in response.  
  
"Aunt Mac!"  
  
AJ's scream gives me enough warning that I'm able to brace for his impact with my knees. When this kid gets older he's going to make a great offensive lineman or hockey enforcer, he's tough.  
  
I reach down to give him a hug and notice his hair's a lot shorter than it was when I left.  
  
"AJ, What happened to you hair?"  
  
"They had to cut it because of my owie. See!"   
  
He turns so I can see the other side of his head and sure enough he has 4 stitches in his head.  
I must look shocked because Harm steps in at this point.  
  
"He's fine Mac. He hit his head on one of the cubbies at the sitter's. I took him to the doctor just to be on the safe side. The only reason the doctor took stitches is so he won't have a bad   
scar if he goes military or bald as an adult."   
  
I start giggling, I can't help it.  
  
"What's so funny Mac?"  
  
"Just trying to imagine a doctor who would think about such things."  
  
Harm chuckles, "I see your point."  
  
"It was cool, Aunt Mac, the doctor let me watch! It didn't hurt at all." AJ proudly tells me.  
  
"The doctor sat him in front of a mirror and AJ watched the whole thing." Harm explains.  
  
"Hate to interrupt, but can we get out of here?" Mattie shifted impatiently  
  
"Yeah!" AJ chimed in.  
  
"You okay, Mattie?" I ask. She looks a little green.  
  
"Just don't like thinking about that. He was so intent on watching and I threw up before the doctor even started sewing!" Mattie wails.  
  
Confused, I look at Harm to explain.  
  
"They used a very large needle to numb the area first." Harm tells me.   
  
"I can see how that would be hard to watch." I sympathize with Mattie.  
  
"Okay you guys let's go get Mac's bag and then we'll go get some dinner." Harm starts to steer everyone to the luggage claim.  
  
Mattie and AJ both cheer.  
  
"Uh, Harm?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What about Jimmy?"  
  
"Jen's going to pick him up and keep him until we can get him. I thought we'd go have dinner just the 4 of us."  
  
"Sounds great. Let's get out of here."  
  
_Mac's Office  
1545 Hours  
4/9/2004_  
  
And to think I was looking forward to coming back to work. I started back this morning. I was able to get cleared to return to work fairly quickly. I am still going to see the therapist for at least a little longer but that's my choice, not a requirement of the admiral.  
  
Everybody's out of the office or in court, except me. This means I have no excuse not to be working on my paperwork. The only paperwork I have left is the stuff I always put off because I hate it. I should have waited until Monday to come back.  
  
Oh, well. If I'd stayed home today I'd just worry about how my homework assignment is going to go. My assignment for the week is to spend 30 minutes one on one with each of the kids. There's one stipulation, driving to and from the sitter or school doesn't count. We are supposed to do something just the two of us. Mattie and I are going to bake 3 dozen cookies tomorrow for the volleyball team's banquet next week.   
  
I'm not sure what I'm going to do with either AJ or Jimmy. One thing the therapist pointed out to me is that I rarely spend time with the kids that's not caretaking stuff and never just one kid at a time. She suggested working on my relationship with each of them independently will help me feel better about my role in their lives.  
  
~Knock, Knock~  
  
"Enter."   
  
Coates opens my door and sticks her head in.  
  
"The sitter is on line two, Ma'am."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
I take the call and 3 minutes and 15 seconds later I'm headed out of the building. Jimmy is sick and the sitter thinks he needs to go to the doctor. Coates informed the admiral while I wrote a note for Harm. Then I gather my things and head for my car.   
  
_Harm and Mac's house  
1845 hours  
04/9/2004_  
  
Jimmy and I pull into the driveway. Harm called when he got out of court and offered to join us but I told him I had everything under control. He decided to collect AJ from the sitter and take him home. He called once they were home and again offered to come out, but by that time the doctor was almost ready to discharge Jimmy with some medication and a referral to a specialist. I told Harm we'd be home soon and he needed to feed us when we got there.  
  
"We're home!"  
  
"Hey, Mac we're in the kitchen."  
  
I head in that direction with Jimmy and find everyone at the table eating Papa John's Pizza.   
  
"I hope there's some of that for me?"  
  
"Of course, I put it in the oven to stay warm. So you want to fill me in on what's going on? You just said he was fine."  
  
"They think he has allergies."  
  
"They think?"  
  
"Yeah. When I got to the sitter he was acting like he does when he has a really bad cold but he was fine this morning. When I got him to the doctor they discovered he was wheezing just a little bit. The only thing that was different today is that a volunteer from the humane society brought some animals in for a presentation for the kids. So the doctor thinks Jimmy had an allergic reaction to at least one of the animals."  
  
"Makes sense, so what do we do?"  
  
"We have some medication for him for this weekend and he has an appointment with an allergist Tuesday afternoon. He's on Dimetapp and Albuterol syrup. They tried Benadryl but he didn't really like the taste of that. He kept spitting it on the nurse."  
  
"I've wanted to do that a time or two myself," Mattie chuckles.  
  
"Me too." Both Harm and I tell her at the same time.  
  
"So are we still going to make cookies tomorrow, Mac?"  
  
"We're going to try."  
  
"Shouldn't be a problem, maybe the boys and I can go to the movies or something. I'm sure there's a kiddie movie playing somewhere."  
  
"That would be great, Harm." I smile at him.  
  
"Think I could spend the night at Susan's tomorrow night?" Mattie asks out of the blue.  
  
"Did she invite you?" Harm asks.  
  
"No, but she will when I explain the situation." Mattie says sheepishly.  
  
"What situation?" Harm and I ask.  
  
"Her little sister, Mary, has had to take Albuterol. It makes her really hyper. The last time Mary was up for 20 hours straight."  
  
"20 hours!" Harm and I looked shocked.  
  
"Yep." Mattie says glumly.  
  
It could be a really long weekend. Why don't doctors ever warn you about this kind of thing?  
  
tbc....  
  
Hyperactivity really is a side effect of Albuterol Syrup. My daughter's asthmatic and was on it for awhile when she was a preschooler. A year later a friend of mine called me in tears because her daughter had only slept 4 hours that night. The doctors had put her on Albuterol and hadn't warned her!  



	26. Part 29

iA/N: Thanks to everyone that's hung in this long. This is the longest story I've ever written and longer than I thought it would be when I started this. I'm thinking 3 more chapters to wrap this up. I was hoping to do it in two, but I've decided to add a chapter to indulge in a little fantasy of mine. (Strangely enough there's no smut involved in this fantasy.)/I

bHarm and Mac's house

5/5/04

2200 Hours/b

Okay, suck it up Mackenzie. You're a marine you can complete a simple little homework assignment from your therapist. I take a deep breath and head out in search of Harm before I lose my nerve. I find Harm at the kitchen table working on his laptop.

"Hey, Harm."

"Hey, Mac. I didn't realize you were still up." He smiles at me as he moves away from the computer.

"I don't want to interrupt."

"Oh, don't worry about it. I need a break. You want some tea?"

"Sure that would be great."

Harm starts fixing the tea. I don't say anything while he's working. I'm content to just watch him and think about what I'm going to say.

"Harm, would you want to go to dinner with me Friday?" I blurt out in a rush once we're sitting down with our tea.

For thirty three seconds all Harm does is look at me. "You mean like a date?" He finally says.

"Actually, yes I do. I'll understand if you say no. I understand that I may have missed my chance," I'm rambling but I can't seem to stop myself, "I mean I did say never and, I was pretty nasty to you in Paraguay, and when you first came back to JAG. So, it's okay if you don't feel that way about me and…"

"Mac?" Harm interrupts.

"Yeah?"

"Don't forget to breathe."

"Thanks for the reminder." I chuckle.

"You're welcome, and I would love to go out with you Friday. What are we going to do with the kids?"

"Mattie agreed to baby-sit. She wants to earn some extra money for the choir class trip to Busch Gardens next month."

"Sounds good."

We sit silently sipping our tea for the next two minutes and ten seconds. I'm almost afraid to say anything. It feels like a spell has been cast over the room and I'm scared to break it.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"I suppose."

"Why'd you say never?"

I look at Harm and sigh. I guess the spell has been broken. "I'll try to explain it to you but you have to realize that this is looking back on things after a month of seeing a therapist. Not to mention being a year older and wiser."

"I'm listening." Harm tells me. I can tell he's really listening. His body language is the same as when we're listening to a witness during an investigation or when he's listening to someone's testimony in court. I know I have one hundred percent of his attention. 

"When my dad would sober up after beating mom, he'd always tell her how sorry he was and how much he loved her. She always forgave him and told me he didn't mean to hurt her. The result was that I learned words are more important than actions, and picked men accordingly."

"Uh, Mac?"

"Harm, trust me this will all make sense in a little bit. I need to say this."

"Okay, I'll be quiet."

"Mic would always say he loved me. That's why I stayed with him even though he tried to make all my decisions for me. He didn't love me though. He loved an image, but he never got to know me well enough to love me. What I've recently realized, is I've been using all my energy trying to get you to say you love me. I thought my actions made how I felt for you clear. Instead, if I'm right, all I did was send you mixed signals." 

I stop, waiting for Harm to confirm what I've just said. One of the things the doctor told me was to give Harm more time to process and arrange his thoughts during these conversations. I start counting to myself in Russian. I'm up to forty five and beginning to think Harm's never going to say anything when he calls my name. 

"Mac, can you explain what you mean by that?" He looks like he's trying to process some piece of information that he'd never even considered before. "Sure but first I need to ask you a question. On the ferry, what did you think I wanted? Please be completely honest with me." 

"Truthfully I wasn't sure. I thought you just wanted sex and then later I thought you might have wanted a relationship but when. . ." Harm trails off. 

"I showed up wearing Mic's ring you decided you'd been right the first time?" I supply. 

"Yeah." Harm confirms.

"Well I can understand that. I did want a relationship. Looking back on that time I can understand why you thought I just wanted sex. I was rotten to you before that trip. I took the ring because I was tired of being alone. I also kept hoping that you'd give me some reason to tell Mic no. Deep down I knew all along that I didn't love Mic." 

"Then why did you come so close to marrying him?"

"Because I thought you didn't want me. Mic said he loved me, and I didn't want to be alone. I honestly thought I could learn to love Mic. On some level I wanted you to just ask me not to marry him. The thing is Harm, I thought I was making my feelings perfectly clear to you on the ferry and on the admiral's porch. When you didn't respond the way I expected, I took it as a sign you didn't care for me that way."

"That's not true Mac."

"Oh, I know that now. I didn't then. By the time we got to Paraguay I'd come to the conclusion that you'd never be able to provide me with what I needed. I took our fighting as a sign I was right and that's why I said never."

Harm nods his head thoughtfully, "And now?"

"I'm starting to learn what I thought I needed from a relationship, and what I really need, aren't necessarily the same thing."

"Makes sense."

"So Harm, do you still want to go out with me Friday?"

"I would love to Marine. Do you want to make the plans or should I?" 

I don't believe it! He's not changing his mind. "I did the asking so I think it's only fair that I do the planning."

"Works for me. Let me know what time and how to dress. See you in the morning." 

"See you in the morning Harm." For the next ten minutes I just sit at the table finishing my tea. That went much better than I thought it would. Maybe it's because I followed the doctor's advice and didn't have any expectations.

I guess I'd better get busy, I have a date to plan!

bMac's bedroom

05/08/2004

0110 Hours/b

I'm laying here in bed trying to relax enough to go to sleep. I've been trying for the past thirty minutes, but so far, no luck. Any other time, I'd just give up and go downstairs for some tea and tv, but I don't want to run into Harm.

I'm not saying our date didn't go well, because it did. Actually, it was wonderful. We left the house around 1800 hours. We had dinner at Raaga, an Indian restaurant near headquarters. I know Harm loves Indian food but doesn't get it much anymore with the kids around. After dinner, we went for a walk in the park before going to a late movie.

The movie was Twentynine Palms. A french thriller that takes place in California. The scenery was great. The storyline was just scary enough to keep me jumping and sitting kind of close to Harm. 

After the movie, we stopped by Starbucks for coffee and talked. We got home at 0021 hours. We checked on the kids, then Harm kissed me good night after telling me we needed to do this again sometime soon.

That's why I'm too wound up to sleep. Harm actually enjoyed going out on a date with me! I don't want to run into him right now. We finally seem to be on the same page and I'm afraid if I'm near Harm we'll do something to screw things up, like sleep together. While I don't know what Harm thinks, I do know I'm not ready to handle the next level.

I roll over and try again to focus on going to sleep.

bHarm's bedroom

05/08/2004

0125 Hours/b

I'm laying here in bed trying to relax enough to go to sleep. I thought about giving up and going downstairs, but I'm afraid I'll run into Mac. The date went wonderfully and I think we're finally starting to find our way. The problem is, neither one of us is ready for a more intimate relationship, and I'm not sure I could stop myself if I saw Mac in a nightgown right now. 

Planning my next date with Mac, I drift off to sleep.


	27. Part 30

_See author's note at the end of this chapter. I asked on the lists when AJ's birthday was I got 3 answers 5/26, 5/18, and 5/25. I used 5/25 because it worked best in my storyline._  
  
Harm and Mac's house  
0630 Hours  
05/21/2004  
  
I've just finished washing Jimmy's face when I hear Harm enter the kitchen.  
  
"Is there any coffee ready?"  
  
"Right there," I gesture to a travel mug on the counter, "I figured you'd need it for your trip to the Patrick Henry."  
  
"You figured right." Harm takes a drink of the coffee and than gives both Jimmy and me a good morning kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Where are AJ and Mattie? I need to get going if I'm going to make my flight."  
  
"Here we are." Mattie says as she walks into the room holding AJ.   
  
"Hey you two, I've got to get going. Do I get a goodbye hug?" Harm asks as he reaches for AJ.  
  
"Bye, Uncle Harm!" AJ practically jumps into Harm's arms and gives him a hug that seems designed to strangle.  
  
"Bye, Harm. Good luck." Mattie tells him as she gives him a hug that's just as big as AJ's, though somehow not as violent.  
  
"Thanks guys, Mattie can you get AJ and Jimmy into the car for Mac?"  
  
"Sure, come on you two." Mattie takes Jimmy from me, and holding AJ's hand, heads out to the garage.  
  
"Why'd you do that flyboy? I can put the boys in the car."  
  
"I know you can, but this gives me a chance to do this without any comments from the peanut gallery."   
  
I'm just about to ask what this is when Harm takes me in his arms and gives me a kiss that leaves me breathless.  
  
"Is that your way of saying you're going to miss me?" I ask him once I can breathe again.  
  
"Yeah, it is." Harm smiles at me. "Come on, we need to get going. I'll call you tonight if I can."  
  
"Sounds good."  
  
We head into the garage where we part ways. Harm heading to Andrews for his flight out to the Patrick Henry to do his quals, the boys and I heading out for another normal day.  
  
Harm and Mac's house  
1930 Hours  
05/21/2004  
  
Dinner's done. The boys are in their pjs. I'm just sitting down to watch a video with them when the phone rings.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hi, Mac."  
  
"Harm! I guess this means you made it to the ship."  
  
"Sure did. It's just like old times. I've got Tuna for a bunk mate and Skates for a RIO." I can almost hear Harm smiling through the phone.  
  
"Sounds like you're going to have a good weekend. They'll probably have to kick you off the ship on Monday morning."  
  
"Well, while I'm going to enjoy flying, I'll be ready to leave on Monday."  
  
"Yeah, right." I snort.  
  
"Flying is no longer the most important thing in my life, Mac." He sounds so sincere.  
  
"May I ask what is?"  
  
"My family." Wow! We're more important than flying. I guess Peter Pan really has grown up.  
  
"Hey, Mac?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can I talk to the kids?"   
  
"Sure."  
  
Harm talks to Mattie, AJ and even Jimmy. Ten minutes later he's telling me goodbye. I think he would have talked longer but somebody else needed the phone.   
  
USS Patrick Henry  
1600 hours  
05/23/2004  
  
"Commander Rabb reporting as ordered,sir!" I come to attention in front of the Captain.  
  
"At ease, Rabb. So your quals are done for another six months."  
  
"Yes, sir. I'm looking forward to getting home, sir. Any chance I can still catch a ride today?" Mac and I have a busy week ahead.  
  
"Actually, I wanted to talked to you about that. I'm a little short handed around here. Any chance you could stay and help out?" The CAG asks.  
  
"Truthfully sir, not really."   
  
He looks shocked. I can understand that, usually my response to being offered flight time is 'hell yeah!' I just hope if he tries to make it an order the admiral doesn't approve it.  
  
"Care to explain why not?" He barks. I guess I can add ticking off a superior officer to my 'how I spent my weekend' list.  
  
"Yes, sir! You know about Mattie and about Colonel Mackenzie and I having custody of AJ and Jimmy Roberts?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Jimmy starts allergy shots tomorrow afternoon. AJ's birthday is Tuesday. Kindergarten round-up is Wednesday. The boys' maternal grandparents arrive Friday. We're having a birthday party Saturday afternoon, and Mattie's going to the prom with a friend Saturday night. I really need to be home. I promised Colonel Mackenzie I'd be home to help with everything."  
  
"I was hoping you'd volunteer to stay before I talked to Cheggwidden, but I guess I'm going to have to officially request to have you assigned here TAD. Dismissed."  
  
"Yes, sir!" I execute a perfect turn and head back to my cabin. I wonder if I should call Mac now or wait until it's official.  
  
USS Patrick Henry  
1650 Hours  
05/23/2004  
  
"Commander Rabb reporting as ordered, sir!" I wonder how long I'm here for. Mac's going to kill me.  
  
"There's a COD leaving at 1715, think you can make it?" The Captain asks.   
  
"Sir?" I wonder if I look as confused as I feel.  
  
"I asked if you could make the 1715 COD. I talked to Cheggwidden, but he's not willing to let you go. I even went over his head, but apparently JAG is more short handed than I am, and the higher ups feel you're of more use as a lawyer than a pilot."  
  
"Yes, sir! I can make that flight."   
  
"Then dismissed."  
  
As I rush to my cabin to grab my bags I can't help but think about how lucky I am. My flight status almost cost me the chance to be around for some pretty important events in my kids' lives. That's how I think of them too, as my kids.   
  
  
TBC  
  
_And that's the end of my little fantasy chapter. I've noticed most fics where Harm has a family and is asked to stay on board a ship and help out, he says yes. I just wanted to do one where he says no and puts the family before the flying. Hope you enjoyed it. Next up is AJ's birthday party._


	28. Part 31

1. _Sorry this took so long. Developed a touch of writer's block as I tried to figure out how I wanted to go about this chapter. I finally decided to cover the entire week leading up to AJ's birthday party. I've included Harm's comment of everything that's happening during the week as a reminder._  
  
_From Part 29_ Jimmy starts allergy shots tomorrow afternoon. AJ's birthday is Tuesday. Kindergarten round-up is Wednesday. The boys' maternal grandparents arrive Friday. We're having a birthday party Saturday afternoon, and Mattie's going to the prom with a friend Saturday night. I really need to be home. I promised Colonel Mackenzie I'd be home to help with everything.  
  
_Mac's Office  
05/24/2004  
0934 Hours_  
  
Okay, AJ's present is ready to be picked up. Now I just have to figure out when we're going to get that done. Which would be a lot easier to do if Harm was back. He was supposed to be back late last night, but he was late leaving the ship, and then his transport was delayed because of weather.  
  
~knock, knock, knock~  
  
"Harm!"  
  
"Hey, Marine."  
  
"You look exhausted. Why don't you go home?"  
  
"I got some sleep. I think I'm at the point where I'm better off staying up now and just going to bed a little early tonight. You know what I mean?"  
  
He's got a point, sometimes the best way to beat jet lag doesn't involve going to sleep.  
  
"Yeah, I do. So what are you going to do today?"  
  
"Paperwork. I'm a little behind and don't want to have to worry about it later in the week." He admits rather sheepishly.  
  
"Harmon Rabb Junior behind, I never would have guessed." I smirk.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Comments like that are not going to get me to buy you lunch, Mac."  
  
"You'll buy me lunch."  
  
"And why do you think that?"  
  
"Because you know first hand how dangerous a hungry Marine can be."   
  
"Good point," Harm chuckles, "Later, Mac."  
  
"Glad you're back, Harm."  
  
I feel much better now. Maybe we'll get through this week okay after all.  
  
  
Harm's Office  
05/24/2004  
1327 Hours  
  
  
"How's it going, Harm?" Good, I hope, because one of us needs to take Jimmy to the doctor and it doesn't look like it's going to be me.  
  
"Not too bad. I've gotten caught up, for now anyway."   
  
"Good, then you can take Jimmy to his appointment?" Please don't give me a hard time about this Harm.  
  
"I thought we were both going to go." He looks confused.  
  
"We were. The admiral gave me a choice: either go to Norfolk and deal with an idiot of a captain, or a murder investigation at Great Lakes."  
  
"And you chose the idiot captain." He smirks at me.  
  
"Well not really, Varese is in Chicago this week and Sturgis practically begged the Admiral to send him."   
  
"Okay, so do you think you'll be gone over night?"  
  
"I hope not, otherwise I'm going to need a good lawyer." I growl.  
  
"I don't understand."   
  
"If this takes more than a couple of hours, I'm going to kill that idiot Captain!"  
  
"You're talking about a superior officer, Mac." Harm tells me, but he's smiling too much to be very serious in the attempted reprimand.  
  
"A Petty Officer on guard duty went UA over a holiday weekend after his wife went into premature labor. The wife has had 3 previous miscarriages so they were both terrified. The guy can prove he tried to call the duty officer, and the CO, who were both unavailable. He left messages on 4 different phones before leaving his post. This should be handled by non-judicial punishment or a Captain's Mast, right?"  
  
"I wouldn't want to prosecute it. It would be to hard to avoid alienating the members."  
  
"Exactly! This idiot wants the guy charge with violating articles 86, 92, and 113."   
  
"What? Is the guy an idiot?" Harm sputters.  
  
"I think I covered that already." I smirk.  
  
"Yeah, you did," Harm chuckles, "What are you going to do?"  
  
"I'm going to calmly explain that charging the man with unauthorized absence, dereliction of duty, and misbehavior of a lookout, is overkill and just sends the message to everyone that he's an ass."   
  
"And if that doesn't work?" Harm asks. He knows me too well.  
  
"I'm going to charge the idiot and his XO, who was the duty officer that day, with dereliction of duty for not being available by phone or pager as the regulations require."  
  
"Go get them, Marine! I'll make sure Jimmy makes his appointment." Harm chuckles.  
  
"Great! See you later, Harm."  
  
"See you at home, Mac."  
  
Harm and Mac's house  
05/24/2004  
1911 Hours  
  
"I'm home!"  
  
"We're in here." Harm and Mattie yell. Sounds like they're in the family room and sure enough, that's where I find them.  
  
"How did it go, Mac?" Harm asks.  
  
"It went. It took some time but the whole thing has now been settled with 2 weeks of extra duty for the Petty Officer."  
  
"Not bad, Marine."  
"Thanks, Harm. How did Jimmy's shots go?"  
  
"Not too bad." He tells me and then turns to Mattie. "Mattie, can you take AJ upstairs to get ready for bed? I need to talk to Mac for a minute."  
  
"Sure, Harm."   
  
Harm doesn't say another word until he's sure AJ and Mattie are upstairs.  
  
"What's wrong, Harm?" I'm a little worried now.  
  
"Nothing, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I double checked with the doctor about AJ's birthday present. He suggests that we baby gate Jimmy's room and not let it in there."  
  
"Sounds like a plan. We should probably pick up several baby gates, Jimmy's going to be walking soon and we'll need them." Harriet never really needed them with AJ, since they lived in an apartment when he was little.  
  
"Already taken care of, Jimmy and I went to Wal-Mart after the doctor." Harm smugly admits.  
  
"Great! So that's one less thing we need to take care of. How are we going to handle things tomorrow?"  
  
"I'm going to leave work early to go pick up the puppy. Then Mattie's going to watch the puppy while I go pick up dinner. We should have everything here by the time you get home with the boys."   
  
"Sounds good." I smile at him.  
  
We spend the rest of our evening, after the boys are in bed, on the couch watching a movie. Actually, it was more like snuggling than sitting.  
  
Harm and Mac's House  
05/25/2004  
1730 hours  
  
"Harm, we're home!" I call as I open the door for AJ to run into the house.  
  
"Uncle Harm!"  
  
"Hiya, AJ!" Harm says as he and Mattie come around the corner.  
  
"Hope you're hungry. Harm stopped and got dinner." Mattie tells him.  
  
"Did you get McDonald's? You promised you would Uncle Harm." AJ tells him.  
  
"Yes, I did promise, and I did get McDonald's. Shall we go eat?" Harm asks AJ.  
  
"Yeah!" With that said we head for the kitchen and a dinner of burgers and fries. Well, except for Harm, who has a chicken caesar salad and a yogurt parfait.  
  
_30 minutes later_  
  
"Can I open my present now?" AJ asks once the table is cleared and the trash is taken out.  
  
"Well, you can have your present now but it was something we couldn't really wrap so you can't open it." I tell AJ while Harm heads to the laundry room to retrieve the present.  
  
"I don't get it." AJ tells me.  
  
By this time Harm is back in the kitchen holding AJ's present. He calls AJ's name softly and AJ's head whips around and his eyes widen as he sees what Harm's carrying. It's a three month old male miniature poodle puppy. Bud and Harriet had promised AJ a puppy for his birthday this year and we decided to help them keep the promise. Jimmy's allergist recommended the breed to us.  
  
"I think he likes it." Mattie comments rather dryly as AJ and the puppy are rolling around on the floor together.  
  
Harm and I just chuckle.  
  
Kindergarten Round-up  
05/26/2004  
0830 hours  
  
AJ, Harm, and I head into the kindergarten room to get him registered for school. For now, AJ will attend a school near the sitter's. We decided it would be easier than having to get the boys to 2 different places in the morning. We can drop AJ at the sitter's and he can take a bus from there.  
  
"Hello! Welcome to Kindergarten round-up! My name is Mrs. Frank. What's your name?" The lady in front of us is dressed in a suit that makes her look more like a stereotypical grandmother  
than a teacher or administrator.   
  
"AJ Roberts." AJ tells her as he reaches out to shake her hand.   
  
"And you must be Mr. and Mrs. Roberts?" Mrs. Frank asks after shaking AJ's hand.  
  
"No, I'm Commander Harmon Rabb and this is Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie."  
  
"Where are the boys parents?"   
  
"They were killed in a car accident on Christmas morning. We're his guardians." Harm's voice is so cold we could use it to freeze ice cream. Another woman hears the conversation and comes over.  
  
"Welcome to Kindergarten round-up AJ. Why don't you go sit with the other kids and color while the Colonel and the Commander fill out some paper work?" AJ does just that. Once he's on his way she turns to us.  
  
"I'm sorry about that. Mrs. Frank tends to forget how much things have changed since she started teaching. I'm Mrs. Young, the principal. We have a few papers we need to have you fill out, comma if you can just come this way."  
  
  
We're lead over to a table, fortunately for Harm, it's a bigger size table than the standard kindergarten table. I chuckle a little at the thought of Harm trying to sit in a kindergarten chair.  
  
"What's so funny, Mac?" Harm asks.  
  
"Just picturing you in one of those little chairs." I smirk at him as we take a seat and begin dividing up the paperwork. It takes us twenty-five minutes to fill out the paperwork. Once we're done we hand the papers to Mrs. Young and are preparing to leave when we hear Mrs. Frank talking to AJ.  
  
"What does AJ stand for young man?"  
  
"Nothing." AJ tells her.  
  
"Your parents didn't give you a name?" Mrs. Frank continues on with her interrogation.  
  
"My name is AJ." He tells her. Harm looks ready to strangle the woman. Maybe the Marines better handle Mrs. Frank this time.  
  
"Mrs. Frank, AJ's parents decided to name him after their commanding officer Admiral A.J. Cheggwidden, the Judge Advocate General of the Navy. When they made that decision, however, they didn't know that A.J. stood for Albert Jethro, so they decided to just name him AJ. Feel free to check his birth certificate. Come on AJ we need to get you to Becky's so Uncle Harm and I can get to work."   
  
"Okay." To my surprise he turns and hugs another adult at the table.  
  
"Well thank you, AJ!" The lady tells him, then turns to me. "I'm Mrs. Jones, the other kindergarten teacher here. You must be AJ's Aunt Mac?"  
"Yes, I'm Sarah MacKenzie and this is Harmon Rabb."   
  
"Nice to meet you. I'll let you get going so you can get to work."  
  
"Nice to meet you." Both Harm and I tell her.  
  
We head out of the school and to the car. AJ talks about Mrs. Jones the whole way to the sitter.   
  
"Is it too terrible to hope that AJ gets Mrs. Jones instead of Mrs. Frank for a teacher?" Harm asks once we're on our way to JAG.  
  
"No, it's not terrible but you must admit Mrs. Frank is experienced." I tell Harm.  
  
"Is that a PC way of saying she's an old bat?" Harm asks.  
  
"Something like that." I laugh.  
  
Reagan National Airport  
05/28/04  
1905 Hours  
  
The Sim's plane should be landing any minute. Which is a good thing because Harm, AJ, and I have been sitting here for the past 52 minutes and 13 seconds waiting for the plane to land. I'm really glad we decided to leave Jimmy home with Mattie.  
  
They just announced the flight and we can see it taxi to the jet way. AJ starts looking for his grandparents. Sure enough, they're one of the first ones off the plane. I guess there are advantages to flying first class.  
  
"Grandma Sims! Grandpa Sims!" AJ hollers and goes running, Harm and I following behind him.  
  
Mr. Sims gives AJ a big hug and Mrs. Sims gives him a kiss on the cheek before they turn to us.  
  
"Commander, Colonel, it's nice to see you again." Lydia Sims says in a tone that tells us it's anything but nice to see us.  
  
"Harm, Mac, How are things going?" Roland seems honestly interested.  
  
"Fine but it's been a busy week, Mr. Sims." I tell him.  
  
"Please, you're raising our grandchildren call us Roland and Lydia." If looks could kill, Roland Sims would at least be in intensive care after the look his wife gave him for that remark.  
  
"Thank you, Roland." Harm says with with those great manners his mom taught him.  
  
Harm has better manners than most men I know. I used to think it was all the female influences he had in his life, but then I met Mic. Mic had more females in his life but didn't have near the manners. I asked Trish about it last time she was here and she said it's genetic, his father had the same suave demeanor.  
  
"Gramma, Grampa, are you coming to my party tomorrow?"  
  
"Wouldn't miss it for anything." Roland confirms for AJ.  
  
"Great! We're going to have pizza, and strawberries, and angel food cake with cool whip and"   
  
At this point Lydia interrupts AJ, "Who picked that menu for a party?"   
  
Harm starts to say something but I signal him to wait a second. AJ looks at his grandmother and tells her, "I did. Aunt Mac and Uncle Harm said since it was my party I should get to pick the food!"   
  
Lydia looks a little taken back but Roland just smiles and tells AJ, "And your aunt and uncle are right, AJ. What do you say you guys get us to our hotel and we'll see you tomorrow?"   
  
"But I wanted to see Jimmy tonight." Lydia protests.  
  
"He'd probably be asleep by the time we got there." Roland tells his wife. Harm and I shake our heads in confirmation, and with that decided, we head for the luggage and the car.  
  
Harm and Mac's house  
05/29/2004  
1500 hours  
  
The food has been eaten, the presents opened, and AJ and his friends are currently playing baseball in the backyard with Harm, Roland, the Admiral, Jen, and Jason. Jimmy is sitting in his walker dividing his time between watching the baseball game and looking at his grandmother like she's an idiot every time she talks baby talk at him. Everybody else in the boy's life talks to him like he's a person, except Lydia.  
  
"Go AJ!" I call out as he smacks the ball off the T that Jason gave him. AJ ends up getting a homer out of the hit. Not because he hit it that far, but because Roo, the puppy, had to be chased down before they could get the ball back. Everyone is laughing and having a grand old time.  
  
Everyone is having a grand old time except for Lydia. She doesn't like dogs and she thought the party should be adults only with 'grown-up' food. Roland on the other hand let Roo up on his lap, helped make the pizzas, has made conversation with everyone at the party including AJ's friends, and has spent most of the afternoon playing with the kids. I can tell which of her parents Harriet took after.  
  
Harm and Mac's house  
05/29/2004  
2100 hours  
  
I'm laying on the couch resting when I hear Harm come into the room.  
  
"AJ asleep?" I ask "He was a little wound up from all the excitement  
  
"Yep, the Sims leave?" Harm responds.  
  
"Finally!" I sigh.  
  
"Hey, Roland's an okay guy. He told me Lydia's given up on trying to get custody. She did go see a lawyer, but he told her she didn't have a snowball's chance in hell unless she could prove us unfit. Roland pointed out if we were unfit, AJ wouldn't be so happy."  
  
"True." I chuckle. I feel Harm sit down next to my feet on the couch and I move them so he can lean back.  
  
"What you thinking about?" Harm asks.  
  
"When AJ was born. This wasn't exactly what I had in mind when you suggested going halves on a kid." I chuckle.  
  
"Wasn't what I had in mind either. You still want one you carry don't you?"   
  
Boy he cut right to the chase. "Yeah, I do, but I don't think any of us are ready for that yet." I admit.  
  
"When you're ready, I'll be here. This is forever as far as I'm concerned."  
  
I open my eyes and just look at Harm. He looks serious. This is the closest he's ever come to declaring his feelings.  
  
"Harm?"  
  
"You once told me you wanted me to state my intentions. That's what I'm doing. I know you've got a lot you're dealing with, but I just thought you should know."  
  
"Thanks, Harm. It does help, and I won't keep you waiting to long."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"Promise."  
  
_The bit with the teacher assuming Harm and Mac are Mr. and Mrs. Roberts comes from something I've been dealing with for years. My daughter has her dad's last name and I don't. I swear the next teacher who calls me Mrs. Burns is going to get a free tonsillectomy. (Especially since she goes to school in the same district I teach for!)  
_


	29. part 32

_A/N: Sorry this took so long. It's hard to spend your nights writing when you spend your days trying to help kids write research papers. If one more kid asks me how you do an outline I'm going to scream so loud the entire country will hear me. I was hoping to be able to spend more time writing after the papers are in. I'm not sure that's going to happen now, my daughter has a soccer tournament coming up and one of my students got busted for possession at school. This could possibly result in his being expelled but since he's a sped kid it'll only happen if all my i's are dotted and t's are crossed. This means that I'm about to descend into the bowels of paperwork h***!_  
  
Notice that I've skipped ahead a few months. I thought about really sending them camping but since I've never been camping I didn't think I could write that. I have however spent lots of time on relatives' farms hence the trip to Grandma Sarah. Hazards of growing up in the mid-west, I suppose.  
  
Thanks to everyone who stuck with me this long. It is much appreciated.  
  
_Mac's Car  
0635 Hours  
07/01/04_  
  
The sun is up but I think I've got another hour until the boys wake up. We're driving up to Grandma Sarah's for the long weekend. Actually, we're driving and flying up. The boys and I left at about 0300 hours to start the drive. I'm supposed to call Harm on his cell phone at 0700 to make sure he and Mattie are on their way to the airport to get Sarah and head up to the farm.  
  
Harm asked me back in June what I wanted to do for vacation. I told him I didn't think what I wanted was possible and that we should probably just stay home. Harm, of course, pressed the issue until I told him what I wanted to do.  
  
He did agree with me that we needed to wait until Jimmy was older before we went camping but he came up with this trip as an alternative. He decided to fly up with Mattie at the last minute so that Mattie could get some more flight time.   
  
Harm actually had some very good reasons for picking the farm for our vacation. We'll have a roof over our heads and everything we could need to keep a 1 year old busy but we can still fish, hike, and sleep in a tent if we want to. He really put a lot of thought into our plans and I couldn't help but be touched by the effort.  
  
It's been an interesting summer so far. I'm still going to therapy. I can tell that it's helping. Harm and I are slowly developing our relationship. I'm learning to trust him and I'm learning that I don't have to do everything by myself. I've always expected people to leave me and it's taken months of therapy for me to realize that no matter how much I push Harm away he's still there.   
  
I'm not saying that we don't still have issues, we have lots of them, but I have something I haven't had since before Bud lost his leg, hope.  
Mattie is still with us and it looks like she will be able to stay for at least a few more months. We had another court date last week and things went quite differently from what we expected. Both Harm and I figured, with Tom doing so well, the judge would order Mattie back with her father   
  
That wasn't what happened. The judge had ordered an evaluation of the situation by both a psychologist and a social worker. They both reported Mattie still had large amounts of anger towards her father that she needed to work through. Both of the reports stated that returning Mattie to her father at this point would probably do more harm than good. They felt that if she returned to her father her anger would cause her focus to change from graduating high school and getting an academy appointment to doing whatever it took to get as far away from Tom as she possibly could.  
  
As a result of these reports, the judge ruled Harm and Tom would have joint legal custody of Mattie with Harm having primary physical custody. Tom has very liberal visitation rights and voice in Mattie's life. The reason for the joint legal custody was due to Mattie trusting Harm more than Tom at this point. The judge felt that if they both had a say in Mattie's life, it would be easier for Mattie to learn to trust Tom as much as she does Harm.  
  
Mattie hadn't expected Tom to give her permission to go on this trip. She was surprised when Tom's only request was that she come spend the weekend with him after we got back. Harm and I were both shocked when Mattie readily agreed. She later admitted she thought it was a small price to pay for getting to fly to Belleville for a week.  
  
It's time to call Harm. I reach over and grab my phone out of its holder and hit the number 1 speed dial.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hey Mattie are you two on the road yet?"  
  
"Yeah, we're in the McDonald's drive thru as we speak. You want to talk to Harm?" Mattie asks.  
  
"Of course." I tell her.  
  
"Hey, Mac."   
  
"Harm, what's this I hear about McDonald's?" I can't help but tease him.  
  
"I need coffee. You don't want me to fall asleep while flying do you?"  
  
"Probably not, of course my answer might be different if I was flying with you. Our flight might end differently if you slept through it."  
  
"I wouldn't count on that Mac." Harm chuckles. "I'll see you in a couple of hours okay?"  
  
"Okay. Bye, Harm."  
  
"Bye, Mac." Harm tells me. I can hear someone in the background offering Harm a spoon. Coffee my foot! I'll have to give him a bad time about that later.  
  
Actually I probably shouldn't say anything. One of the side effects of this family is a change in everybody's eating habits. I'm eating less junk food, Harm's eating some junk food, and Mattie's expanding her horizons beyond just pizza.   
  
  
_Sarah Rabb's Farm  
1130 hours  
07/01/2004_  
  
As I pull into the driveway of the old farmhouse I see Harm sitting on the porch waiting for us. AJ also sees Harm and starts waving madly, while Roo, the puppy, starts yapping. I turn the car off and step out.  
  
"Hey, Marine, you made it. I was getting worried." Harm calls as he moves across the yard to help me get the boys out of the car.  
  
"Sorry, once the boys woke up we had to stop and grab some breakfast. Of course since I decided to try going through a drive-thru, I now need to vacuum out the car," I chuckle. "Where's Mattie?" I ask as we get the boys and Roo out of the car.  
  
"She's inside explaining to Grams why she should leave the raisins out of the fruit salad."   
  
"Yes, please. No raisins!" I shudder. Harm just laughs.  
  
None of us eat raisins anymore. AJ had a small box of raisins for a snack a couple of Saturdays ago. Turns out he also had a stomach virus. Harm, Mattie, and I all had a hand in cleaning up that mess. Since then we can't stand the thought or smell of raisins. AJ also has no interest in eating them anymore.  
  
We head into the house with the boys hoping that Mattie and Grams can watch them while Harm and I unpack the car.  
  
_Sarah Rabb's Bathroom  
1505 Hours  
07/01/2004_  
  
I lay back in the tub and close my eyes. This is so much better than the tub at home. Harm sent me up here to relax after we got Jimmy down for a nap. At first I couldn't understand why he insisted I use the upstairs bathroom, and then I got up here. The bathtub is the old claw foot type and Harm brought my favorite bubble bath and my favorite CD. When I thanked him he just laughed and told me to have fun and he didn't want to see me for at least an hour.  
  
Lunch was simple but delicious, sandwiches and fruit salad. Grams just chuckled about our current aversion to raisins. She understood completely, she had the same problem when Harm was little but it was with hot dogs. I have to admit finding out Harm once got sick after eating five hot dogs made me a little more understanding of his eating habits.  
  
After lunch we took the boys out to play in the horse tank. Grams doesn't have a wading pool but she does have a large water tank that used to be for watering the horses. She paid one of the neighbor kids to clean it out for her and now it's like having a giant wading pool. The boys had a blast. Heck even Mattie, Harm and I had fun. We're going to spend a day playing in the creek but we need to get the boys' life jackets unpacked before we do that, just to be on the safe side.  
  
The water is starting to chill, when I check my internal clock I realize why, it's been one hour and three minutes since I came in here. I use my toes to pull the plug and reach for a towel, my clean shorts, and shirt.  
  
Once dressed, I check to make sure Jimmy is still sleeping before heading downstairs to see what everyone else is up to. AJ is in the living room resting on the couch watching Robin Hood on Harm's laptop. Neither of us ever used our DVD rom drives until the boys came into our lives full-time. Mattie and Grams are in the kitchen cleaning sweet corn for dinner.  
  
"Hey, you two, where's Harm?" I ask.  
  
"Outside. He said to tell you he's around back by the barn. He's got something he wants to show you." Grams tells me.  
  
"Okay, thanks. I guess I'll go find him." I head outside wondering what Harm's up to this time.  
  
As I come around the corner of the barn I can't help but chuckle at what I see. I wonder how he got that up here without my noticing. Guess I'm going to get to do my camping after all.  
  
"So what do you think, Mac?" Harm looks really nervous for some reason.  
  
"I think I really want to know how you got that tent up here without my knowing." I smile at him.  
  
"I ordered it off the net and just had them deliver it here instead of the house. I thought this way you could still kind of camp and spend time with the boys."  
  
"Thanks, Harm. It was a wonderful idea. Are you going to stay out here with me?"   
  
Oh my lord! Harmon Rabb Junior is blushing. If I didn't see it I'd never believe it.  
  
"I thought I'd leave that decision up to you, Sarah. I'll admit I'd like to but it's your call."   
  
That's one of the ways Harm's changed in the past year. He's much more open about his feelings. I'm not saying he comes right out and says what he's feeling but the lines you have to read between aren't nearly as wide. I used to feel like figuring out Harm required reading between the lines of an eight lane highway but now it's more like reading between the lines of narrow ruled paper.   
  
"You okay, Mac?" Harm looks a little worried.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. I guess my brain just took a little vacation. I think I'd like it if we both stayed out here." I smile at him.   
  
"Then I guess it's a good thing I brought my sleeping bag." Harm smiles. " Shall we go check on everyone?"  
  
"Probably." I take the hand Harm offers me and we turn and head towards the house.  
  
_Sarah Rabb's backyard.  
0530 Hours  
07/02/2004_  
  
I wake to the sound of birds chirping and singing. A check of my internal clock reveals that it's only 0530 so I snuggle up close to Harm and try to drift back to sleep.   
  
I would imagine that anyone who knows us would be shocked to find us sharing a tent. It's not so much the fact that we're sharing a tent but the fact we're both still fully clothed and in our own sleeping bags.   
  
Harm and I are trying to develop a relationship but we're not having sex. It's not that we don't want to, it's that I feel like sex would just complicate things at this point. We're having enough problems separating work and home without adding a sexual relationship to the mix.   
  
Harm has told me repeatedly that I get to set the pace in this relationship and he's done everything in his power to back up that statement.   
  
I check my internal clock and realize it's almost 0600, if I'm going to go run before the boys wake up, I need to head out now. I start to move away from Harm only to have him wrap his arms around me and pull me back next to him.  
  
"Where you going, Sarah?"   
  
"Go back to sleep. I'm just going to go run." I start to move away again.  
  
"Give me a minute and I'll go with you."  
  
"Harm, go back to sleep. I'm a big girl I can take care of myself." I turn to face him.  
  
"I know you can take care of yourself, Mac. The thing is people tend to drive on these country roads really fast and it's not smart for either of us to run by ourselves. Last year a jogger was out by himself and was hit by a car that left the scene. The guy bled to death before anyone found him. I need to run. You need to run. It's safer for us to run together. Okay? Just because I worry about your safety doesn't mean I don't trust you. It does mean I don't trust some of the idiots that are out there." He looks me straight in the eye as he says this and I can tell he's telling me the truth.  
  
"Okay. I'm sorry, Harm. I guess I got so used to having to prove myself that I tend to assume that's always what's going on when my choices are questioned."   
  
"That's okay, Mac. Just promise me you'll try to learn to listen before you let me have it. I promise I'll try not to judge your choices if you promise you'll listen to my point of view."  
  
"Fair enough." I give him a quick hug and get up and start getting ready to go.  
  
Ten minutes later Harm and I are warmed up and on the road. We are only twenty minutes into our jog before I realize Harm was right. People have no concern for speed as they go up and down these roads. I'm sure that last car was going close to 100 mph.  
  
_Sarah Rabb's farm  
0715 hours  
07/02/2004_  
  
I come downstairs after my shower and find everyone in the kitchen. Grams is making pancakes. Harm is making scrambled eggs and Mattie is helping AJ clean strawberries.   
  
"What can I do to help?" I ask.  
  
"You want to set the table?" Grams asks.  
  
"Sure." I grab Jimmy up from where he's playing on the floor and he and I go set the table for breakfast.  
  
Once breakfast is over and the dishes are done we load up and head into town for the farmer's market. We bring back homemade jelly, apple butter, honey sticks, as well as fresh peas, carrots, lettuce and corn. AJ wanted to get some strawberries but Grams still has a strawberry patch and she promised him he could pick all he wanted as well as raspberries off her bushes.  
  
_Sarah Rabb's Farm  
1556 Hours  
07/03/2004_  
  
It's a very tired crew that walks across the yard and back to the house. Grams had a church dinner she had to get ready for so while she was doing that we took the kids, and a picnic lunch and hiked to the creek. We ate by the water's edge and then spent the afternoon playing in the water. We stayed longer than we should have but everyone had a great time. Jimmy is riding in a pack on my back and according to Mattie he's been asleep since we put him there. Harm's had to carry AJ most of the way back and I'd be shocked if he's not asleep too.  
  
Grams sees us coming and opens the door for us.   
  
"Take those two upstairs and put them down. You may want to lay down too. You three look exhausted. Did you have fun?"   
  
"We had a blast, Grams, but you're right we're all tired." Harm tells her as he gives her a peck on the cheek. "What time is the dinner?"  
  
"I need to leave in an hour but we don't start serving until 1830 hours." Grams tells us.  
  
"Sounds good. We'll be there." I tell her.   
  
Mattie takes the picnic stuff into the kitchen. Harm and I get the boys put to bed and then Harm goes to help Mattie put away the picnic supplies. I go sit on the couch with my feet up. It only takes five minutes for Harm to come join me.  
  
"Where's Mattie?" I ask.  
  
"She went to take a nap. Shall we stay here or do you want to go lay down in the tent?"  
  
"I'd love to go lay down in the tent but I think I'm too tired to move."   
  
"So I guess we'll stay here." Harm chuckles.   
  
The next thing I know Harm's shaking me awake because it's time to leave for the church dinner.  
  
_Harm and Mac's tent   
2333 Hours  
07/04/2004_  
  
The boys and Mattie are in bed. Harm and I are laying on top of our sleeping bags watching the fireworks that are still going off in the distance.  
  
"I love watching fireworks." I tell him.  
  
"Really? Have you always liked watching fireworks?" Harm asks.  
  
"I grew up in Arizona, Harm. We don't have a lot of fireworks out there. It's illegal to even possess fireworks in most of Arizona so other than official shows you can't see many out there."  
  
"People don't break the law and shoot them off anyway?"   
  
"Not when the penalty for having fireworks was $1000 fine and then if they started a wildfire it was even worse."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"The fine could be the cost of fighting the fire. A friend of Chris's got arrested for starting a wildfire by accident. He was looking at a $500,000 fine and it was a small fire."  
  
"I can see why you didn't see a lot of fireworks as a kid. There were some illegal fireworks when we were in La Jolla but since I spent most of my summers here I always got to see lots of them."  
  
"Must have been fun spending your summers here." I tell him.  
  
"Most of the time it was. Sometimes I'd be out here because my mom just couldn't deal with me anymore and those weren't always that fun because I felt like I was being punished for what I felt."   
  
"I can understand that." I tell Harm. I really can understand that. There have certainly been times in my life when I felt like I was being punished for what I felt.   
  
We continue to watch the fireworks in companionable silence. Harm yawns and I shoot him a look.  
  
"You ready to go to sleep?" I ask him.  
  
"I'm tired but I'm also enjoying myself so I don't really want to go to sleep."   
  
That is so like Harm. "Let's get some sleep, flyboy."   
  
We both turn over and lay down on our sleeping bags. I scoot closer to Harm and snuggle up next to him. We lay there for a couple of minutes before I start caressing Harm's chest.   
  
"Mac?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"I would think you'd know, Harm. After all, according to Jordan you have done it before."   
  
I get a throaty chuckle in response. "Are you sure about this, Mac?"  
  
"Yes. I love you Harm and you've repeatedly shown me you love me too."  
  
"I'm glad you noticed." He tells me.  
  
"It's still nice to hear." I tell him as he rolls us so that I'm on my back and he's looming over me.  
  
"I love you Mac." He tells me right before our lips meet in a kiss.  
  
tbc.  
  
Sorry folks, I'm not ready to try my hand at smut yet so use your imaginations. I do have plans for the next chapter and it's about 1/3 of the way written. How fast it gets done depends on how bad the paperwork situation is at work this next week.  
  
_I know that the chances of the judge making that kind of ruling regarding Mattie are non-existent but I decided to have the family court system work the way it should not the way it does._

1.   
  
  
  



	30. part 33

**A/N: The basic idea for this chapter came from the news but just the basic idea. The details and facts come from my own overused and often abused imagination. On a language note Yel-la means hurry (I wanted something that sounded right for the region but wasn't real). The other words are Russian and you can probably figure out their meanings from the context!**   
  
Also, I had need of a Machiavellian spy character for this chapter. Now I could either create one or use the spy I love to hate. Guess which route I took? ;-)  
  
I should probably mention this wasn't where I was headed when I started this chapter.  
  
_Mac's office  
1000 hours  
08/17/2004_  
  
"Ma'am?"  
  
"Yes, Coates." I look up from the file I'm reading.  
  
"The Admiral would like to see you and Commander Rabb in his office right away."  
  
"Okay, let me get the Commander and we'll be right there." I sigh. This can't be good.  
  
"Actually ma'am, the Admiral sent Gunny Morris to get the Commander. You're supposed to go right in."  
  
"Okay." I tell her as I head for the Admiral's office. This really can't be good.  
  
I knock on the office door and hear the Admiral shout enter.  
  
"Colonel Mackenzie reporting as ordered." I stand at attention in front of the Admiral's desk. Fifteen seconds later Harm is standing next to me.  
  
"At ease. Have a seat, Colonel. You too, Commander."   
  
The admiral takes his glasses off and looks at both of us.   
  
"Commander, how much notice would your mother need to come out here to stay with the kids?"  
  
"I'm not sure, sir. How much is she getting?" Harm asks.  
  
"24 hours. You are on a transport out of Andrews at 1100 hours tomorrow."  
  
"Both of us?" I ask.  
  
"Yes, Colonel both of you. I assume you've seen the reports about conditions at the prison in Basra."   
"Yes, sir. I assume we're being sent to investigate." I offer.  
  
"You would be correct in that assumption."  
  
"Why us sir? I mean the prison is run by the Army, right?" Harm asks.  
  
It's nice to know that some things never change but it's kind of sad that Harm's ability to question a superior officer is one of those things.  
  
"Because we lost the coin toss. Look I realize going to Basra is not your idea of a fun assignment. The truth is the president doesn't want this investigated by the Army and the top investigators for the Air Force are currently working that friendly fire incident in Najaf, so you two are it." The admiral looks as thrilled about this as I feel.  
  
He continues. "I was able to buy you two twenty four hours to get things in order at home but that's the best I can do. The SECNAV doesn't feel it's appropriate to send Turner because of the bias allegations that were leveled against him last year. I think both of you would agree with me that Tiner doesn't have the experience or the rank necessary for an investigation like this."   
  
"Yes, sir." Harm and I both respond.  
  
"Give your current case files to Turner for redistribution and then get out of here so you can get ready to leave tomorrow. Dismissed." The admiral goes back to the file he's reading.  
  
"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." Harm and I both leave and head for my office.  
  
"So what do we need to get done?" I ask as we sit.  
  
"Well as I see it we need to giveour files to Sturgis, find someone to stay with the kids, explain things to the kids, pack and . . ." At this Harm's voice trails off.  
  
"And what Harm?" I know there's something he doesn't want to say.  
  
"We need to make sure our wills are up to date."   
  
As much as I hate to admit it, he's got a point. We are both about to head into a combat zone. While we may not want to think about dying, it is a possibility and we do have the kids to think about.  
  
"Well, mine is almost up to date. How about yours?" I ask Harm.  
  
"Mine is except for what happens to the boys if something happens to both of us.''   
  
"That's the same thing that's missing on mine. Great minds think alike don't they?" I tell him.  
  
"So how about we take our case files to Sturgis and see if he or Jason can update the wills really quickly?" Harm suggests.  
  
"Sounds good. Let's go." I gather up my files and follow Harm out of the office.  
  
_Harm and Mac's house  
2200 Hours  
08/17/2004_  
  
"Thanks for bringing these by, Jason." Harm tells him.  
  
"No problem, sir. I'll make sure they get in your files tomorrow morning. Do you have everything taken care of with the kids?"   
  
"Actually, yeah we do. My mom can't fly out until late tomorrow, Tom's going to pick Mattie up at camp and Jen's going to get the boys from the sitter and help Tom get everyone in for the night. My mom should be in by the time the boys get up the next morning but Tom's going to stay overnight just in case." Harm explains.  
  
"Sounds good. I'm surprised Harriet's parents aren't coming in to help." Jason remarks.  
  
"Roland just finished a round of chemo, so he's too tired to be much use, and Lydia has a DAR meeting coming up." I supply.  
  
"Well I can understand Roland not coming but you'd think with as much as Lydia complained about you two having custody she'd have dropped everything to be here." Jason comments wryly.  
  
"I'm not even going to touch that." Harm responds and I can't help but shake my head in agreement.   
  
"Well, have a good trip and I hope the investigation isn't too bad." Jason says as he steps out the door.  
  
"Thanks. See you soon." We tell him. Then Harm closes and locks the door.  
  
"Shall we go to bed?" Harm asks me.   
  
"We?" I still have my own room in the house and do actually spend some time there. We're trying very hard to take this relationship slow and make it solid.  
  
"Maaaccc! Who knows how long we're going to be gone?" Harm whines.  
  
"Harm, I was just yanking your chain! Let's go to bed." I laugh at him.  
  
Harm pulls me close and turns out the light as we head upstairs to his room. His back just can't handle my bed. I must admit his bed is very comfortable, as well it should be he spent 600 dollars on it.   
  
_Yel-la Prison Basra Iraq  
0920 Hours  
8/21/2004_  
  
The worst thing about traveling to this part of the world is the amount of time required on a plane to get here. For one thing Harm is a lousy passenger. The longer the flight the worse he is. I half expected Harm to try and commandeer a Tomcat, a Hornet, or even the Wright Brothers' plane for the last part of this journey just so he'd have something to do besides read or sleep.  
  
We're being shown into the office of the commander of the prison. Army General Michael Moor has been in charge of Yel-la since it was taken over by the Allies shortly after the war began. By all reports everything was just how it should be. This is still believed to be the case in all but one section of the prison.   
  
Reports have recently surfaced of prisoners being abused, humiliated, and tortured in one section of the prison. The thing that strikes both Harm and I as strange is the fact that according to all the preliminary reports the abuse is only occurring in that one section.  
  
We knock on the door and hear the order to enter. Harm and I enter and stand at attention in front of a desk that is much like Admiral Cheggwidden's. The desk, however, is the only part of the office that reminds me of JAG.  
  
"At ease. Rabb and MacKenzie I presume."  
  
"Yes, sir." "Aye, sir."  
  
"While I understand the reasons for sending in the Navy, I can't say that I agree with them. However, my staff has been ordered to cooperate with your investigation. I will tell you right now, my people aren't responsible for this mess."  
  
I look at Harm out of the corner of my eye and see that his eyebrows are in his hairline. I imagine mine are too.  
  
"Are you saying that those photos were faked?" My voice has a tone of incredulity that I can't hide.  
  
"No, the photos are real but my people aren't in control of that part of the prison and I'm hoping the government isn't about to hang a bunch of good men out to dry. Dismissed." The General goes back to his paperwork.  
  
Once we're out of the office, Harm and I just look at each other.  
  
"I wonder what he meant by that?" Harm looks as confused as I feel.  
  
"Hello Sarah. Rabb." a voice says. I don't believe it. I turn around hoping my eyes are not going to see Clayton. No such luck. Ebat'-kopat'! "Webb, what are you doing in this part of Iraq?" Harm actually sounds friendly. I guess he can afford to be generous, after all he did get the girl.   
  
"Classified. " Webb replies with his usual smirk.   
  
"Everything is classified with you, Webb. What you had for breakfast is probably classified."  
Harm replies.  
  
"Actually it's not but I can't remember what it was at the moment. What are you doing here?" Clay asks.  
  
"We're here to investigate the abuse allegations." I tell him.  
  
"Why you two? You're not Army."  
  
"No kidding. The president felt having us investigate would be the best way to avoid any appearance of impropriety and guarantee an impartial investigation." Harm tells him.  
  
"Oh, well nice to see you two. Good luck." Clayton turns and hurries down the hall.  
  
"Is it just me, or could he not get away fast enough once he knew what we were doing here?" Harm asks me.  
  
"It's not just you. Makes me wonder what he's up to."   
  
"Yeah, and the answer to that would be classified." Harm remarks. I can't help but chuckle.  
  
"Good point. Shall we head to our office and get started on this investigation?" I start to lead the way and can feel Harm's hand at the small of my back. The only other man that could ever do that without it annoying me was John Farrow, with Mic it felt like he was trying to control me and with Clay I just felt slimy.  
  
"So where do you think we should begin?" I ask Harm once we're in the office assigned us for the duration of the investigation. It's about the size of Harm's closet at JAG but since it's centrally located it should facilitate conducting most of the grunt work of the investigation ourselves.  
  
"You're asking me? I thought you were in charge." Harm laughs  
  
"Me?" I can't help but squeak. He never gives me the lead in an investigation. Well, at least not without a direct order from the Admiral or SECNAV.   
"Well, it is your turn to be on top this week." Harm says with mock seriousness.  
  
"Oh, okay if you say so. f I'm in charge, I'll come up with a list of whom to interview while you go round up some coffee?"  
  
"Aye-aye ma'am!" Harm executes a dismissal turn and heads off for coffee.  
  
"Smart ass!" I mutter with a chuckle.  
  
_Yel-la Prison Basra Iraq  
1624 Hours  
8/22/2004_  
  
"What do you mean we can't speak to the prisoners Corporal? I gave you an order." Harm stands in front of Corporal Jones doing his best to intimidate the poor kid.  
  
"They're not here, sir." Jones squeaks  
  
"What do you mean they're not here? Where are they?" Harm bellows. I'd forgotten how marine like Harm can be at times.  
  
"That's classified, sir." Well, that answers that question.   
  
"Excuse me?" Harm's voice is low and deathly calm.  
  
"It's okay, Commander Rabb. I know what's going on. Walk with me." I tell him.  
  
We head back to the office in silence. I don't want anyone hearing what I have to say and I need Harm calm enough to listen so that I don't have to spell it out.  
  
Once we're in the office and the door is closed Harm turns to me. "What did you mean by you know what's going on?"  
  
"Think about it Harm, who is always claiming something is classified." I can almost see the light bulb go on over his head.  
  
"Webb. Guess that answers most of the questions about what's going on here, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, you want to call the Admiral or should I?" I ask even though I know what he's going to say.  
  
"You can."   
  
"Chicken!" I laugh.  
  
"Nope, just a man in need of some coffee." Harm responds as he heads out of the office. I just laugh and pick up the phone. Five minutes later my conversation is over but Harm's still not back.   
  
"Hey did you call the admiral?" I hear Harm asks as he comes back to the office carrying two cups of coffee.  
  
"Yeah, He's got to make some phone calls and then he's going to call us right back. Thanks for the coffee."  
  
"Anytime."  
  
Ring, Ring  
  
Harm snatches up the phone before I can get to it.   
  
"Rabb!"  
  
"Yes, sir!"  
  
"No brig time, sir?" I wish we had a speaker phone so I could hear more than half a conversation.  
  
"Yes, sir!"  
  
"Will do sir!" With that comment Harm hangs up the phone and just looks at me for a minute.  
  
"Harm?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What did the Admiral say?" What does he think I want?  
  
"Oh, we're to track down the prisoners and we've been authorized to make deals to do it."  
  
"What kind of deals and authorized by whom?"   
  
"Forfeiture of pay and reduction in rank for those involved but no brig, er stockade time, deal authorized by the chairman of the joint chiefs."  
  
"Wow!" Is the only response I can utter.  
  
"My thoughts exactly. Apparently the Joint Chiefs are up in arms about the possibility of the military being used to do the CIA's dirty work and then being hung out to dry." Harm says with more than a trace of anger and cynicism.  
  
"Well, then shall we go play let's make a deal? I'll be the bad cop, okay?" I tell him.  
  
"Fine." Harm chuckles without any real humor.  
  
_Flight to Baghdad.  
1901 hours  
8/22/2004_  
  
It took all of an hour to get someone to tell us what they knew. Which was thirty minutes more than Harm thought it would take, and thirty minutes less than what I thought it would take.  
  
Once the deal was cut and in writing, Specialist DuCane told us that Clayton Webb and an officer from Army Intelligence were in charge of interrogating the prisoners and that he pressured the staff to do whatever it took to get results. Most of the staff are young reservists and didn't really have the background or military training to stand up to Webb and his associates.  
  
We were able to find out that the prisoners were being transferred to a prison in Baghdad so I'm now on my way on my way to intercept the prisoners and get their statements.. Harm stayed to get statements from the guards working in that section of the prison.  
  
At this point we're just gathering the information, what will happen is out of our hands. The best Harm and I can hope for is that we don't become collateral damage.  
  
_Baghdad Hilton  
2145 Hours  
8/22/2004_  
  
Bang! Bang! Bang!  
  
Hopefully Webb is smart enough to open the door. Here we go.  
  
click  
  
He just barely gets the door open when I kick it. Unfortunately for Webb I'm currently wearing BDU's and combat boots so the door flies back and smacks into him with a thud and a crack. He stumbles backwards and before he knows what's happening I'm in the room with the door closed and locked.  
  
"Sarah, what are you doing here?" Webb asks. At least that's what I think he said. He's holding both of his hands to his face and his voice is very nasal sounding.  
  
"What do you think I'm doing here, you slimy bzdenok! I push Clay down on the bed and hand him a towel from the bathroom. "Where are the prisoners you brought from Basra?"  
  
"That's classified."  
  
"Govno! You idiot! There are pictures all over the news back home. Congress is wanting prosecution for war crimes. Do you really think the military is going to be the scapegoat for this? What were you thinking?" I can't believe he'd stoop this low.  
  
"I was thinking that I could get some valuable information about planned attacks against our interests." Clay growls.  
  
"By stooping to their level?" I shout.  
  
"I was not stooping to their level!"  
  
"Right, I've seen the pictures. You treated those prisoners no better than Sadik treated us. When were you going to break out the jumper cables?" I yell, hoping to get through to Clay. I truly think the line just got blurred for him but if he's not careful his bosses will sink his career in an attempt to save their own hides.  
  
"Get out!"  
  
"Clay. . . " Okay maybe my marine temper built a wall instead of tearing it down.  
  
"Don't Clay me, Colonel Mackenzie. Get out of my room."   
  
"Fine, I was trying to get you to see reason and maybe save your career but if you don't want help."  
  
"Why would I need your help? I tried that once and Rabb had to come rescue us." Clay snidely informs me.  
  
"I'll leave." I unlock the door and step into the hallway letting the door slam behind me.  
  
That went well. I guess I better go call in and let the admiral know how poorly that went. I really was hoping to shock Clay into realizing he'd crossed the line. Unfortunately all I did was alienate the man and make things even worse.


	31. part 34

**A/N: Okay this chapter is where I was headed when I started the last chapter. I do kind of redeem Spooky but don't get the idea that I'm sorry he's gone. I just can't see Clay crossing that line on purpose, as a planned part of an operation.  
  
A/N2: I doubt there really is a military hospital in Baghdad but can we pretend. This is my first try at really writing an investigation in a story so cut me some slack, okay? Thanks!**  
  
_Baghdad Hilton, Mac's Room  
1737 Hours  
8/29/2004_  
  
"We'll be home as soon as we can, AJ. Can I talk to Mattie now please?" I can hear Mattie's voice in the background as AJ gives her the phone.  
  
"Yeah, Mac?"  
  
"How are things really going?" I ask.  
  
"We're fine, Mac. I think Trish is enjoying playing mom and Tom's been helping out too." Mattie tells me.  
  
"I'm sure you're also helping a lot, Mattie. I need to talk to Trish for a couple of minutes."  
  
"Okay." I hear the phone being handed off yet again.  
  
"Hello, Sarah."  
  
"Hi, Trish. I just wanted to tell you that we're hoping to be able to head back by the end of the week." Which is true but I doubt it's going to happen. This has turned into the investigation that never ends.  
  
"That's fine. I need to go back to La Jolla for a couple of days to take care of some business."  
  
"When do you need to leave?" Oh no! We're going to have to come up with other plans for the boys.  
  
"Relax, Mac. I need to leave Thursday. If you and Harm aren't back yet I'll just take everybody with me." Trish informs me.  
  
"We can't ask you to do that!"   
  
"You're not asking. I'm offering. You and Harm can't be here but I can. I can also afford to take everyone with me. We'll be fine. Don't worry about us, just do your jobs so you can come home."  
  
"Will do. Thanks Trish."  
  
"You're welcome. I'll let you get going it's got to be dinner time there."  
  
"Yeah it is. Give the kids a hug for me, okay?"  
  
"As long as you give my son a hug for me."  
  
"I can do that." I laugh softly before hanging up the phone.  
  
Harm and I are still stuck in Baghdad trying to iron things out. The CIA is denying that they ever had people at Yel-la. We were able to find the prisoners and have spent the past week interviewing them. Six of the guards are being transferred to command headquarters here to prepare of Article 32 hearings. Right now Harm and I are listed as the prosecutors but that should change. If it doesn't change I hope the trials are transferred back to headquarters. Not like there's anything I can do about it. I should probably get ready to go meet Harm for dinner.   
  
_Army Command Headquarters  
0915 hours  
08/30/2004  
_  
Harm holds the door to the conference room for me to step through. One hour ago, we received a phone call from a Major Collins. Major Collins is representing Staff Sergeant Simpson, who claims to have information for our investigation and wants to deal.  
  
"At ease, sit down." I tell Collins and Simpson as soon as we're in the room.  
  
"What do you have for us?" Harm asks.  
  
"What are you willing to offer?" Collins responds.  
  
"Depends on how good the information is." I tell him.  
  
"I'm not giving you two anything until I have something in writing." Simpson informs us.  
  
"That's fine. We've got more than enough to send you and your friends to the stockade for at least 20 years. We don't need you and your information. You on the other hand, need all the help you can get. "If you're smart you'll tell us what you know, and hope it's enough to inspire us to offer a plea." Harm coldly informs him.  
  
The sergeant and major confer for two minutes and sixteen seconds before the major opens his briefcase and hands us a computer disk.  
  
"What's this?" Harm asks.  
  
"Pictures from Yel-la. Take a look at them I think you'll find them extremely useful. I have more where those came from" Simpson answers.  
  
"Okay. You two stay here. Colonel Mackenzie and I are going to go look at these, we'll be back in no more than an hour."   
  
With that Harm and I leave the room stopping only to issue instructions to the guard on duty. before heading to a conference room to view the disk and make some decisions.  
  
_Army Command Headquarters  
1100 hours  
08/30/2004_  
  
"You said you'd be back in an hour." Simpson says the minute the door is opened.  
  
"Sorry about that but I don't think you'll mind once you hear the deal we have for you." I should chew him out for the lapse in protocol but frankly I've got more important things to deal with.  
  
"Ma'am?" Collins questioned as he waited for our offer.  
  
"Okay here's the deal. We get all the pictures. Simpson pleads guilty to one count of cruelty and maltreatment. Sentence will be one year confinement, loss of all pay and allowance, and an other than honorable discharge."  
  
"Done." Collins informs us after conferring with his client. He then reaches into his briefcase and hands us a box full of disks.   
  
"Thank you. We'll be in touch." With that Harm and I take the disks and head back to the conference room so we can go over our new information and then fill the Admiral in. He was pretty ticked we woke him up until we told him what we had. We got orders to make the deal, look over the rest of the pictures, then report back to him at 1700 local time.   
  
_Conference Room  
1536 hours  
08/30/2004_  
  
These pictures are really disgusting. They show American soldiers sinking to lows I didn't think possible. Many of the pictures also show Clayton Webb and some others that I can only assume work for the company. Fortunately I only have to look at half the pictures. Harm thought we should split them and then save our halves to our hard drives  
  
"You, okay?" Harm asks me.  
  
"Fine. Why do you ask?"  
  
"I heard you sigh, Mac. Want to try again?"   
  
"You know this is going to ruin Clay. The company will hang him out to dry." I can't help but think if he hadn't been tortured last year he'd have never crossed the line.  
  
"Maybe, maybe not."   
  
"Maybe? Are you nuts?" I yelp incredulously.  
  
"Nope, I'm perfectly sane. Let me show you what I just found." Harm turns his laptop around so I can see the file he just opened.  
  
"Ebat-kopat! Is that who I think it is?" I'm stunned.  
  
"Yep." Is all Harm says.  
  
"Too bad there aren't any Iraqis in the picture."   
  
"That's why I'm not sure if they'll be able to hang Webb out to dry. There aren't any prisoners in the picture so Kershaw could argue he never saw Webb's treatment of the prisoners insisting Webb acted on his own authority." Harm says.  
  
"But it's clearly Yel-la, and Kershaw is the boss so he should have known and even if he didn't..." My voice trails off.  
  
"Kershaw still might end up being the sacrificial lamb." Harm finishes.   
  
"Good, I'm glad." I know I don't sound it but I am glad someone besides Clay might go done for this. I don't think Clay could handle having to leave in total disgrace.  
  
"Mac?"  
  
"I'm fine, Harm. I can't help but think that if Paraguay hadn't happened Clay never would have done these things." I tell him sadly.  
  
"You might be right."  
  
"Well we better get back to work we've got to report to the admiral in an hour."  
  
"One hour, twelve minutes and seven seconds." I tell Harm, who just laughs.  
  
_Baghdad Hilton  
1842 Hours  
08/30/2004_  
  
"Meet you for dinner in twenty?" Harm asks as we step off the elevator.  
  
"Can we get some room service and just eat in the room?" I'm not in the mood to be around people tonight.  
  
"Sure. I'll just..." Harm's voice trails off as his cell phone starts ringing.  
  
"Rabb."  
  
"Yes, sir. I'll be right there." Harm hangs up the phone.  
  
"Sorry, Mac. I've gotta run. I should be back shortly. A courier is supposed to meet me at headquarters to take custody of the disks."   
  
"Do you need me to come too?"  
  
"Nah, go ahead and get changed then order dinner. I shouldn't be more than twenty minutes."  
  
"Okay." I unlock my door and head for the bathroom.  
  
Fourteen minutes and seventeen seconds later I'm showered and in a t-shirt and lounge pants when it happens.  
  
_BOOM_  
  
That sounded awfully close. I grab my room key and my cell phone before heading downstairs to find out what's going on.  
  
Once off the elevator I can tell immediately what's going on. A suicide bomber blew himself up outside the hotel. While moving closer to see if I can help I hit the button to speed dial Harm and warn him of what's going on here.   
  
I'm about five feet from where the bomb went off when Harm's cell phone starts ringing. It takes me all of fifty-seven seconds to realize I can hear the Star Trek theme Mattie programmed into Harm's phone.  
  
I stop and listen to the ring trying to figure out where it's coming from. There, over there by that car. I hurry over and there's Harm. He's unconscious and bleeding. I drop to my knees screaming for help and trying to find the source of the blood at the same time.  
  
Within minutes help has arrived and Harm is being put in a vehicle to be taken to a hospital. I find out where he's headed and prepare to follow, praying the entire time that he's going to be okay.  
  
_Military Hospital Somewhere in Baghdad  
1920 hours  
08/30/2004  
_  
I finally make it to the emergency room and weave my way towards the information desk.  
  
"Excuse me, I need some information about Commander Rabb." I say to the Specialist working the desk.  
  
"This is an army hospital." She says without looking up.  
  
Now I'm mad. "You want to try that again, Specialist?" I yell in my best drill sergeant voice.  
  
Now the kid looks up. "Ma'am?" Good, he looks scared.  
  
"I'm Lieutenant Colonel Mackenzie. My partner Commander Harmon Rabb was brought in after being injured by a suicide bomber. Now I'm supposed to report to my boss, a two-star, who is then supposed to report to his boss on the Commander's condition. My question for you is am I going to have the information I need?"  
  
"Ma'am, yes ma'am. Let me find out for you ma'am." She starts punching keys on her computer and one minute and twelve seconds later she has the information I need.  
  
"He was taken to surgery on the third floor." She points me in the direction of the elevator.  
  
"Thank you." I tell her before heading to the third floor.  
  
Once the elevators open is see another desk and step up there.  
  
"Excuse me, I'm looking for information on Commander Rabb."   
  
"The doctor should be with you in just a moment." This answer is from a lieutenant.   
  
It's actually twelve minutes before the doctor, a Captain Evans, finds me pacing the hall.  
  
"Colonel Mackenzie?"  
  
"Yes, How's he doing?"   
  
"He's going to be hurting for awhile but he'll be fine." The Captain is smiling.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes, really. He has a mild concussion, a broken wrist, and he had a gash in his side that required twenty-seven stitches. Surprisingly, there wasn't any serious damage considering the amount of shrap metal we removed. He was quite fortunate really, most of the blood wasn't his."  
  
I know that should make me feel better and it does, but at the same time the thought of all that blood being from different people makes me want to vomit.  
  
"Can I see him?"   
  
"Certainly, just let us get him set up in a regular room. Someone will come and get you in about twenty minutes?"  
  
"That's fine, is there a phone somewhere I can use to call the states? I need to report in to my CO." I also need to call Trish.  
  
"Certainly, you can use the doctor's lounge. Right this way."   
  
The Captain shows me to the lounge and then backs away, giving me the privacy I need. Taking a deep breath I pick up the phone and dial headquarters.  
  
tbc


	32. Part 35

_A/N: I just need to say that snow days and construction delays suck! Between the two my school has 8 days to make up which means school doesn't get out until June 8 (9 for teachers), a full week and ½ after everybody else! (Yes, I'm whining.)   
  
A/N2: I'm assuming that all the victim's from the last chapter were taken to the same hospital. I'm making some major assumption about hospital policies but they seem logical to me._  
  
Harm's hospital room, Baghdad  
0725 hours  
08/31/2004  
  
The first thing I become aware of as I wake up, is my whole body hurts. The second thing I become aware of is why. I fell asleep in the chair by Harm's bed. Why can't they invent a comfortable hospital chair?  
  
A nurse comes into the room and stops short when she sees me.   
  
"They didn't say anyone was in here with him."  
  
"I didn't want to leave and go back to our hotel." I tell her.  
  
"I guess I can understand that. There's some coffee at the nurse's station if you want a cup. Go ahead, this'll take me a couple of minutes." She smiles, checking on Harm.  
  
"Thanks, that sounds good." I stretch before heading that way.  
  
The coffee's not half bad, much better than the stuff they served at Yel-la. By the time I return with the coffee, Harm's starting to stir.  
  
"Easy there, flyboy." I say, hurrying to his side.  
  
"Mac," he groans.  
  
"Who else would it be? Sturgis?" I laugh.   
  
"What happened?"   
  
"What do you remember?" I ask while gently restraining him from sitting up.  
  
"Meeting the courier at the Embassy and handing off the disks. Let me up, Mac."   
  
"No way, Harm. You've got twenty-seven stitches in your side. Let's move the bed rather than you, okay?"   
  
"Okay, but you still didn't answer my question."  
  
"A suicide bomber blew himself up in front of the hotel. He killed three and injured twelve."  
I tell him as calmly as I can.  
  
"Are you okay?"   
  
"I'm fine, Harm. I wasn't with you. I found you afterwards and it scared me half to death." I shudder at the memory. I'm not surprised he asked about me though. Harm's always been one to worry about others before himself.  
  
"Come here, Mac." He pulls me close in a hug. I just relax against him until we hear a throat being cleared.  
  
"I see you're feeling better Commander Rabb." The Captain says.  
  
"Well, I don't know about better." Harm responds.  
  
"You're definitely a lot more coherent than you were during the night."   
  
"I'm going to have to take your word for it since I can't remember last night." Harm tells the doctor.  
  
"I'm not surprised. Your IV cocktail included some of our best painkillers." The Captain chuckled.  
  
"I guess that explains it." I interjected. I really was a little worried about the fact that Harm couldn't remember last night.  
  
"Trust me it does." The Captain reassured me with a smile.  
  
"So how long until I can get out of here?" Harm asks.   
  
"Shouldn't be more than a day or two but I don't want you back at work right away."   
  
"I'm not here on vacation." Harm interrupts.   
  
"I didn't think you were, Commander, but you're still going to need some downtime until those stitches can be removed in a week or so."   
  
"Sorry, Captain. I just want to get home." Harm mutters.  
  
"Don't we all. Breakfast should be here in a little bit, followed by a nurse with your medicine."  
  
"What medicine?" Harm asks.  
  
"Just an antibiotic and a mild painkiller for now." The Captain responds.  
  
"What do you mean for now?" Harm and I ask simultaneously.  
  
"We may need to add some other medications but we're waiting for some test results first.  
  
"Tests for what?" Harm asks.  
  
"In an attack like this everyone's blood gets everywhere. Standard procedure is to run HIV tests on everyone, start medication if needed. The tests should be done by 0900." The Captain tells us.  
  
"So, are you saying I could have been infected with AIDS?" Harm asks.  
  
"No, what I'm saying is we run these tests just as a precaution. In the year I've been here, I've treated several victims of terrorist bombings and never had HIV be a problem. It's a policy we adopted from the Israelis. They've had this happen before, comma and have a lot more experience dealing with these kinds of attacks and their aftermath. Please try not to worry about it until we get the test results back, it really is just a precaution.   
  
"Then why did you tell us about the tests?" I ask in a very unsteady voice.  
  
"Honestly? Because I forgot I'm dealing with two lawyers who would pick up and jump on the littlest things. You'd think I'd know better."   
  
"Why's that?" I'm starting to relax a bit.  
  
"Both my mom and dad are lawyers, and so is my wife."   
  
"You're right, you should have known better." I laugh and Harm joins in. I think we're both feeling better about what we've been told. I'm still terrified but I believe the Captain when he says the tests are only a precaution.  
  
"I'll see you later, Commander." With that the Captain leaves and Harm and I are alone.  
  
"You okay, Mac?"   
  
"Honestly? I'm terrified but I trust him."   
  
"Me too." Harm smiles.  
  
"So what else don't I remember about last night?" Harm asks.  
  
"Well, I talked to your Mom and Mattie." I know he's not going to like hearing that.  
  
"Mac!" Sounds like I was right.  
  
"The attack was all over ZNN so it seemed smart to call them." I smile at the look on Harm's face at my comment. He can't argue with my logic but he wants to, I can tell.  
  
"I talked to the Admiral, he's working on getting us shipped home. How about: He insists it would be a conflict of interest for us to prosecute because of our previous involvement with Webb and the CIA."  
  
"I never thought I'd be thankful for the Company!" Harm laughs.  
  
"Me either." I admit.  
  
At this point breakfast arrives. I'm a little startled when two trays are brought in. The surprise must have shown on my face.   
  
"I figured you could also use some breakfast, ma'am." The young nurse tells me.   
  
"Thanks." I smile.  
  
"You're welcome. There's also some ibuprofen on your tray. I know how uncomfortable those chairs are." She tells me before leaving the room.  
  
Harm and I each take the lids off our trays and start to eat.  
  
"This isn't half bad." Harm remarks in the middle of his eggs.  
  
"I know. I can't decide if it's really that good or if the food at Yel-la was just that bad." I respond between mouthfuls.  
  
Harm chuckles at my comment. We continue eating our breakfast and chatting, just trying to kill time until we can find out about those tests.  
  
tbc.  
  
_and relax folks, I'm not going to do anything drastic. I promise!_


	33. part 36

**A/N: Thanks to all who have stuck with me this far. I seem to be on a roll so enjoy!**  
  
_Harm's Hospital Room  
0800 Hours  
09/01/2004_  
  
"Hey, you ready to get out of here?" I ask as I walk into the room.  
  
"Oh, yeah. What took you so long, Mac?"  
  
"Had to stop and pick up our travel orders." I wave them in my hand.  
  
"We're out of here?" His tone is unbelieving.   
  
"Just as soon as we have your discharge papers." I smile.  
  
"You mean these papers?" Harm waves them in my face.  
  
"Yeah, those papers. So they're just gonna let you walk out of here?"  
  
"Nope, we were just waiting for you to show up, Colonel." This from a nurse standing in the doorway with a wheelchair.  
  
"I ..." Harm starts.   
  
"Let's not have the argument, flyboy. I want to go home and we've only got 28 minutes and 7 seconds to catch our hop to Bahrain. If we miss that, it's 24 hours until the next one." At that Harm gets into the wheelchair.  
  
"So when will we be home?" Harm asks.  
  
"If everything goes according to plan we should land at Andrews at 1905 Washington time." I tell him.  
  
"Are we flying commercial or military?"  
  
"Military."  
  
"So I shouldn't plan on us arriving on time." Harm remarks.  
  
"Probably not." I laugh. We've both traveled enough to know the farther you're going on a military flight the less likely you are to get there on time.  
  
We arrive at the airport just in time to catch our hop. Soon enough we're in Bahrain with at least an hour to kill so we find some coffee and have a seat.  
  
"So, does my mom know we're headed back?"  
  
"Yeah, but I told her I didn't know for sure when we'd arrive so no planning on meeting us." I tell him.  
  
"She agree?"   
  
"Actually, yeah, she did." I smile at him.  
  
"I'm impressed. Can you tell me your secret?" Harm asks.  
  
"I could, but we've already established that you don't speak Farsi." I respond and we share a laugh.  
  
"So what exactly do my mom and the kids know?"   
  
"AJ knows that you got hurt, and you have stitches in your side, and a cast on your wrist. Mattie knows the same, plus the fact it was a terrorist attack. Your mom knows about everything except the HIV tests. I didn't see the point in telling her since they all came back negative." It would have just scared Trish and I think I was scared enough for the both of us.  
  
"Good, thanks for not scaring her. Are you sure it was a good idea to tell Mattie that it was a terrorist attack?" Harm asks.  
  
"Harm, she's taking Current Issues this semester. Even if she didn't find out at home, she'd have found out at school." I tell him.  
  
"Good point."  
  
"Your mom offered to take the kids with her to California. I told her yes."   
  
"Why?" Harm looks a little surprised.  
  
"Well things will probably be nuts at work until the end of the week and if that's the case the kids would have more fun in California. Your mom's planning on keeping them until Sunday afternoon so that'll give us Saturday and Sunday morning to ourselves." I'm not going to tell him I have something planned for Saturday because it's a surprise.  
  
"Okay, I guess that makes sense."   
  
"I knew you'd see it my way!" I reach over and give his hand a discreet squeeze.  
  
"Shall we go catch our flight?" Harm asks.  
  
"Sounds good."


	34. Part 37

**A/N: It's short but shippery so I think everyone will be happy.**

**disclaimer: I still don't own them.**

_Harm's Office_

_1800 Hours_

_09/03/2004_

I knock on the frame of Harm's door and wait for him to look up.

"Hey, Mac."

"Harm, are you almost ready to get out of here? "

"Better rephrase the question, counselor."

"What do you mean? " I'm truly baffled by the comment.

"I was ready to get out of here at 0900 hours. I'll be done with my work and able to go home in about 15 minutes."

"I see your point." I laugh. "I'll be in my office when you're able to leave."

"I'll come get you." Harm tells me as I turn to head back down the hall.

"You'll have to, I have the car keys." I call back.

I can hear Harm chuckle but he doesn't seem to have a retort handy.

_Mac's Office_

_1827 Hours_

_09/03/2004_

"Hey, Mac."

I look up from the email I'm reading and smile at Harm.

"You finally ready, sailor? " I ask.

"Yep, sorry it took so long."

"Not a problem, it gave me a chance to catch up on my emails." I tell him as I shut the computer down and grab my briefcase and cover.

"Anything interesting?" Harm asks as we head out of the building.

"Well, Mattie and AJ are having a blast in San Diego and Chloe wants to come down and visit in a couple of weeks."

"We should be able to work something out for Chloe and I'm glad the kids are having fun, now I don't feel so guilty about having to put all these hours in." Harm tells me as we approach the car.

Since we didn't have to drop anybody off at the sitter's we brought the 'vette. I was shocked when Harm suggested it, he never let's me drive it and he can't drive it right now because of his wrist. The Lexus and my car are no problem because they're both automatics but a stick shift is more than he can comfortably handle right now.

"I know what you mean about feeling guilty. Are things back under control? " I ask him. I know I have my cases under control but I haven't had time to see how he's doing.

"Yeah, I think so. At least as under control as things ever get around here."

I have to laugh at that because he does have a point, a lot of the time we're doing well just to control the chaos.

"So, what do you want to do about dinner? " I ask Harm as I start the car.

"Let's just stop and get some take out. I'm too tired to cook anything." Harm sighs.

"How about that deli near the house?"

"Sounds perfect."

"What time are you meeting Sturgis tomorrow?" I hope Sturgis remember to make plans with Harm. I need Harm gone for a couple of hours to set up his surprise.

"I'm supposed to meet him at his place at 1500 hours. That work okay for you?"

"Works for me." It should I suggested the time.

_Harm and Mac's house_

_1830 Hours_

_09/04/2004_

What do I still need to do? The table is set. The food is in the kitchen, the CD changer is loaded and playing. I'm ready, or as ready as I'll ever be. Just need the candles lit, and Harm, and we're ready to go.

"Mac!"

I take that back we just need the candles lit.

"In here Harm." I call out while lighting the candles I have on the table.

"Wow." Is all he has to say when he sees the dining room. "Did I forget a date or something?"

"No, this was supposed to be a surprise." I smile.

"Well, I'm surprised. Is this why Sturgis invited me over to watch the game?"

"Yeah, I told him I needed to get you out of the house for a couple of hours." I confess.

"Traitor." Harm says with mock indignation

I laugh at him. "Come sit down. I'll get the appetizer."

"You cooked?" Harm looks shocked and maybe a little worried.

"No, I ordered." I admit right away so he won't worry about what he's going to be eating. My cooking skills are very limited. Comes from having grown up in a house where my mom cooked the same 15 dinners until the day she left. If it was the 12th, dinner was spaghetti with Ragu.

I take the appetizer into the dining room.

"These look delicious, Mac."

"It's a Crab and Coconut dip." I tell him.

"It tastes as good as it looks." Harm remarks after a couple of bites.

We share the dip in silence while Norah Jones' new CD plays in the background.

"Should I just bring out the salads or are you ready for the main course too, Harm?" I ask once we're done with our appetizer.

"I'll leave that up to you. Do you need any help?"

"Thank you, but I've got it under control."

Harm looks at me like I've grown a second head.

"What's the matter, Harm?"

"You didn't do your I'm a marine speech."

"Maybe that's because tonight I'm not a marine, I'm just Sarah."

Having said that, I leave a very confused looking Harmon Rabb sitting at the table while I get the remainder of our dinner from the kitchen.

"So Mac, what's for dinner?" Harm asks as I step back into the room.

"Seaside Avocado Salad and Caribbean Lobster." I present the plate to him with a flourish.

"Looks wonderful and tastes even better." Harm states. "So you want to tell me what's going on?"

"What makes you think anything is going on?" I attempt to feign innocence.

"You really want a list?" Harm asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Not really, you remember you told me I could set the pace in this relationship?" I ask him.

"Yes, did I do something wrong?" Harm sounds very nervous.

"No, not at all." I quickly reassure him.

"Then what?"

"I'm ready to move this relationship ahead." I smile at him.

"And what do you see as being the next step?"

"Harm, will you marry me?"


	35. part 38

**I wanted to do something different than the whole transfer Mac to the Judiciary thing and I think I've done it. That having been said, please excuse any inaccuracies in this chapter and the next one, I had to make certain assumptions to make this work.**   
  
_Mac's Office  
1300 hours  
09/06/2004_  
  
I'm sitting in my office trying to relax. I can't believe how much my life has changed since Friday.   
  
I proposed to Harm on Saturday night. He said yes. We didn't get much sleep that night. Well, technically, we didn't get any sleep.   
  
Sunday we had breakfast in bed and then went shopping for an engagement ring. Even though I'm the one who proposed, Harm insisted I needed an engagement ring. He said that he wanted everyone to know that I was marrying him.   
  
I agreed, but only after I teased him about how I should buy him a ring so everyone would know that he was marrying me. He laughed saying he looked forward to my putting a ring on his finger in the near future.  
  
My ring isn't a traditional ring, but since when are either Harm or I traditional? The ring has an emerald surrounded by 4 smaller stones of different colors. There's a sapphire for Harm and the others are the birthstones for each of the kids.  
  
Mattie and Trish noticed the ring before we got out of the arrival gate. They both said it was about time and wanted to know when the wedding would be. We told them it would depend on how and when the work situation was taken care of.  
  
The next step is talking to the admiral and we have an appointment in 2 minutes and 52 seconds.  
  
"Mac?"   
  
"Harm." I look up in shock.  
  
"You okay?"   
  
"I'm fine, just thinking." I assure him.  
  
"Okay." He sounds skeptical.  
  
"You ready to go see the admiral?" I ask him.  
  
"Yes and no, if that makes any sense."   
  
"It does." I tell him.  
  
We've arrived at Jen's desk and she tells us to go right in. We enter and stand at attention waiting for the admiral to acknowledge us.  
  
"At ease and have a seat."  
  
"Aye, aye, sir." "Yes, sir."   
  
"What did you two need to talk to me about?" The admiral asks without looking up from the file on his desk.  
  
"We're getting married." I blurt out.   
  
That gets him to look up.  
  
"You're what?"   
  
"The colonel proposed Friday and I accepted." Harm sounds calmer than I feel right now.  
  
"The colonel proposed?" The admiral is smirking at Harm.  
  
"Yes, sir." Harm appears unfazed.  
  
The admiral looks at me. "Well, he told me to decide the pace of our relationship." I shrug.  
  
The admiral just chuckles.  
  
"You realize that I probably can't keep both of you here?"  
  
"Yes, sir. Any ideas what the options are?" Harm asks.  
  
"Not really, but I'll do some checking. If I can find a way to keep you both here, I'd like to. Give me a couple of days and we'll talk on Friday. Dismissed."  
  
"Aye, aye, sir." "Yes, sir."   
  
Harm and I exit the office and head directly for mine. The blinds are already closed, and once the door is closed behind me, Harm pulls me into a hug.   
  
"See that wasn't so bad." He tells me.  
  
"Yeah, but we still don't know who has to leave." I tell him.  
  
"It'll be okay, Mac. I promise." He smiles at me.  
  
"Okay." Even though logically I know he has no control over keeping this promise I can't help but feel better.  
  
_JAG Headquarters  
0800 hours  
09/10/2004_  
  
Harm and I no sooner step out of the elevator then we hear the admiral call to us.  
  
"Rabb and Mackenzie! My office!"  
  
"Yes, sir." "Aye-aye, sir."  
  
We leave our covers and briefcases in my office before heading to the admiral's office. We're both trying very hard to hide our nervousness without much success.   
  
"Have a seat you two. We need to discuss your options." We sit. Something tells me the news isn't good.  
  
"I talked to the SECNAV and Admiral's privilege is not an option in this case."   
  
"So what are our options?" I ask. I'm terrified he's going to tell us that one of us will end up having to transfer out of the DC area.  
  
"There are several options. Unfortunately most of them are not in the DC area. The one option that is in the DC area is for the Commander."  
  
"Me, sir?" Harm looks shocked. I've learned recently that Harm truly believes his career to be at a dead end.  
  
"Yes, the SECNAV would like to use you in a program he's trying to get started. You'd keep your office here at JAG but wouldn't be under my command. You'd also have an office at NCIS at your disposal. You'd still do some investigating and possibly some prosecuting. The position could eventually become a command position but to start with you'd report to the SECNAV."  
  
"Sounds interesting. What exactly is the job?" Harm asks. His body language is saying that he's definitely interested in the job. Harm really didn't think any of the options for him would be anything but paper pushing positions with no real future.  
  
"You'd be liaison to JAG and NCIS. The SECNAV is hoping by having a lawyer that interacts with both NCIS and JAG we can cut down on the number of cases that NCIS has tossed on technicalities. He's also hoping it'll help streamline the investigation process and get cases to trial more quickly and efficiently. The program would start with just you and then hopefully add others once we start to see results."  
  
"And if we don't see results?" I ask. I can just see the SECNAV transferring Harm to Guam because this doesn't go like he planned.  
  
"I think we'll see results. The SECNAV has a group of agents in particular that he wants Harm to start working with. He thinks adding Harm to the mix with one of these groups in particular will definitely get results. I'm just not sure they'll be good results."  
  
"Who does he want me to work with?" Harm asks with a raised eyebrow.  
  
The admiral looks at Harm for a minute. I don't think he wants to answer the question. "The team headed up by Special Agent Leroy Gibbs."  
  
Oh, my God. What are they thinking?


	36. part 39

A/N: I almost transferred Mac to NCIS but my daughter convinced me it'd be more fun to transfer Harm. It's been brought to my attention that Gibbs goes by Jethro on the show, so I'll be dealing with that in this chapter. (I don't know if my reason why he goes by Jethro is correct but please just play along.)  
  
_My apologies for how long this took. All I can say is the writer's block sucks!_  
  
Mac's office  
0900 Hours  
09/20/2004  
  
It feels strange to be heading into staff call without Harm. After a lot of thought and research, Harm decided to accept the position as NCIS/JAG liaison. His first reaction was to turn the position down but then he did some research and thinking. He decided the job would be a challenge and he could learn to work with Gibbs.   
  
Harm and I are going to meet for lunch so that he can tell me how the morning went, and get caught up on anything that needs his attention here.  
  
He promised he would play nice with Gibbs.  
  
NCIS Headquarters Conference Room  
0900 Hours  
09/20/2004  
  
I'm standing in a hallway waiting for Director Morrow to introduce me to Agent Gibbs and the rest of the team.  
  
Of course the only one I need to be introduced to is Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd. At least I'm assuming the rest of the team remembers me. Lord knows I've been unable to forget them, no matter how hard I try.  
  
The door opens and I hear the Director invite me into the room. Ten seconds after I step through the door I come to a new understanding of what is meant by a deafening silence. Everyone except for a woman I assume is Kate Todd, is looking at me like I'm an alien.  
  
"Commander, I believe you've met Agents Gibbs, Dinozzo, Sciuto, and Dr. Mallard? The newest member of Gibbs' team is Agent Todd." Director Morrow says in a tone that almost makes me believe he doesn't know 4 of these 5 people tried to put me in prison for a murder I didn't commit.   
  
"Nice to meet you, Commander." Agent Todd is the first to speak. Of course the fact she's the only one that's not in shock may have something to do with it.  
  
"Gibbs, can you and your team show the Commander around and bring him up to date on current investigations?" The Director makes the order sound like a question.  
  
"We can do that, Director." Gibbs tells him, and with that the director leaves closing the door behind him.  
  
"How exactly did you get this job, Harmon?" Gibbs asks.  
  
"SECNAV's choice, Leroy." I smile sweetly.   
  
"That's Agent Gibbs to you, Harmon."   
  
"Then that's Commander Rabb to you, Agent Gibbs." I respond with my tone so sweet it'll be a miracle if we all don't need insulin after this.  
  
"So what exactly is your job, Commander Rabb?" Kate Todd asks.  
  
"I'm supposed to help you with warrants and other legal issues that come up during investigations. The SECNAV is hoping having a JAG here will help get cases to trial more efficiently, with warrants that withstand scrutiny, and without prosecutors having to worry about whether NCIS agents actually solved the crime or whether they made the facts of the case fit their theory of who did it." I can't resist the dig at Gibbs.   
  
"So what, you're our supervisor?" Dinozzo asks.   
  
"No, I'm here to help you and to facilitate the smooth transition of cases from investigation to trial." I answer.  
  
"Well, Dinozzo and I have somewhere to be. Kate, why don't you show the Commander around and see if he can help us get the search warrants for the Enterprise?" Gibbs orders.  
  
"Okay. Is that okay with you, Commander?" This is from Kate Todd.  
  
"Sure, and you can call me Harm."  
  
"Thanks, I'm Kate." She smiles at me. Gibbs looks a little jealous.  
  
"What kind of name is Harmon anyway?" Gibbs asks as he and Dinozzo get ready to leave.  
  
"My father's. What kind of name is Leroy?" I shoot back.  
  
"Also my father's. Which is why I prefer Jethro or Gibbs."   
  
"I'll try to keep that in mind." I tell Gibbs.  
  
"I knew I should have been a vet." Kate says.  
  
"Huh?" This from Dinozzo.  
  
"Dogs are so much easier to deal with when they mark their territory." Kate says as she stands up and motions for me to follow her. Which I do, once I stop laughing.  
  
"Kate, how about I take you to lunch? I think you would get along wonderfully with my fiancee."   
  
Kate stops and looks at me. "Okay, then maybe we can work on getting those warrants."   
  
"Fine by me but I need to spend some time at JAG this afternoon so we might want to take separate cars."  
  
Mac's Office  
1330 Hours  
09/20/2004  
  
"Colonel?"   
  
I look up to see Kate Todd standing in my doorway.   
  
"Yes."   
  
"Can you tell me why Harm and Gibbs don't like each other?"   
  
"What makes you think they don't like each other?" Let's see if I can get out of this.  
  
"Please, I may be new to the unit but it was obvious to anyone with an IQ above room temperature."   
  
I'm not going to get out of this. I sigh. "Come in and close the door, Kate."  
  
"Before I tell you this, where's Commander Rabb?"   
  
"Meeting with Captain Sebring about some search warrants."   
  
"Okay, then let me tell you about the murder of Lt. Lauren Singer." I start to relate the events that marked the start of a time both Harm and I would rather forget.


	37. part 40

**Sorry this is so short but it was a good stopping point before I ship Harm and Gibbs off on an investigation!**  
  
_Mac's Office  
1520 Hours  
09/21/2004_  
  
Ring, Ring  
Ring, Ring  
Ring, Ring  
Ring, Ring  
  
"Hello." I practically yell into the phone, hoping I made it in time.  
  
"Colonel Mackenzie?"   
  
"Yes, Agent Todd?"   
  
"Yeah, Rabb asked me to call you." Kate Todd informs me.  
  
"Is everything okay?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. He just wanted to let you know he's going to be late."  
  
"Oh, okay." I can't help but sigh in relief. "Any idea how late?"  
  
"Not sure, he and Gibbs went to Pax River to look at a Tomcat." Kate responds.  
  
"Any particular reason?"   
  
"Yeah, Gibbs was upset that the warrant for the Enterprise didn't include searching the planes and Rabb offered to take Gibbs to Pax and show him why the warrant didn't need to include the planes."  
  
I can't help it, I start laughing.  
  
"Colonel?" Kate sounds confused.  
  
"Sorry, I just know what the Commander's likely to do to make his point." I tell her once I can breathe again.  
  
"I'm not sure I understand."  
  
"If I know the Commander, he's going to take Gibbs out to Pax River and they'll end up taking a ride in a Tomcat which will end only after Gibbs loses his lunch and is so sick that he has to sit with his head between his knees for 5 to 10 minutes before he can walk to the car for the ride back."   
"What makes you so sure, Colonel?"   
  
"There's the fact that Harm will use any excuse to get in a Tomcat. There's the fact that Gibbs wanting to search fighter planes for drugs is laughable, and then there's the fact that Harm still feels the need to get even with Gibbs for the month he spent in the brig."  
  
"How did you know that the warrants were for drugs? Rabb's not supposed to discuss cases."   
  
"He didn't. Agent Todd, the scuttlebutt network in this building is at least 10 times better than the computer network. It was all of the building yesterday that NCIS had Commander Rabb come get a search warrant for drugs on the Enterprise and that you wanted the search to include areas where it wouldn't be possible to store the amount of drugs that you were looking for. According to the same scuttlebutt, Captain Sebring wasn't going to sign the warrant until Commander Rabb acknowledged this and the fact that you didn't have probable cause to search the planes." How NCIS ever successfully completes any investigation is beyond me.  
  
"Oh, shit. Gibbs acted like Rabb changed the warrant on purpose and was trying to protect the jet-jocks." Kate sounds like she probably agreed with Gibbs until a couple of minutes ago.  
  
"One thing you need to know about the Commander, he doesn't protect pilots. He gives them the benefit of every doubt and sees past the egos but if they screwed up he will do everything in his power to see them punished." I tell Kate.  
  
"I'll keep that in mind." Kate says in all seriousness.  
  
"Good, thanks for letting me know he'll be late."   
  
"Thanks for letting me know what kind of mood Gibbs will be in when he gets back. I don't think I'll be here."  
  
"Might be a good idea." I laugh as we hang up.  
  
**Pax River Flight Line  
1643 Hours  
09/22/2004**  
  
"How you doing, Gibbs?" Harm asks . Gibbs is sitting on a retaining wall. His head is between his legs and his flight suit is dirty and stained.  
  
"I'll be fine, Rabb."   
  
"Okay, I'm going to go get changed. Meet you at the car." Harm heads in the direction of the changing room. He changes quickly before heading out to let Jack know that he needs to know what each member of the plane crew drinks. He figures he owes them each a bottle for the mess Gibbs left in the plane.  
  
**Car headed to NCIS Headquarters  
1702 Hours  
09/22/2004**  
  
"Hey, Rabb."  
  
"Yeah, Gibbs."  
  
"You're right there's no way that amount of drugs could be stored in a plane."   
  
"Thanks, glad you realize it. By the way the reason the planes weren't included was you didn't have probable cause. Sebring wanted to kick the whole warrant back but I talked him out of it."   
  
"Well thanks for doing that." Gibbs says rather grudingly.  
  
"It's my job." Rabb responds.  
  
The rest of the trip is made in silence.


	38. Part 41

**Offutt AFB in Bellevue, NE is the home of US Strategic Command. For that reason, there are Navy personnel assigned to the base. As a matter of fact the commander of USSTRATCOM is navy as is about half of the command staff. So yes, it is in the realm of possibility for NCIS to conduct an investigation on an AFB.  
  
By the way, I grew up near Offutt and have spent most of my life in the metro area. What I'm trying to say is that I do know some things about how the base is laid out. (Though I will plead guilty to a mixing of past and present characteristics.)**   
  
Warning the case in this part is about the murder of kids.  
  
_Mac's Office  
1121 Hours  
10/04/2004_  
  
"Enter"  
  
"Hey, Mac. You got time to go to lunch?" Harm asks from her doorway.  
  
"Harm!" Mac looks up surprised to see him. "Sure, I can spare an hour. What's up?"   
  
"I just wanted to have lunch with my fiancee."  
  
Mac looks at him with raised eyebrows.  
  
"Honestly! Of course the fact I have to leave town on an investigation probably has something to do with it." Harm says cheekily.  
  
"Let me just call Coates and let her know where I'll be and you can tell me where you're going and why." Mac responds.  
  
Two minutes and 10 seconds later they are out of the building and headed for Harm's vette.  
  
"So where you headed sailor?"  
  
"Believe it or not, Nebraska." Harm responds with a sheepish grin as he eases the car into traffic.  
  
"Okay, last time I checked there were no naval or marine bases in Nebraska." Mac shoots Harm a sideways glance.  
  
"Yeah, I know but STRATCOM is there and this morning the only son of Commander Mark Johnson was kidnapped on his way to school. Locals have started working the case but since Johnson is the assistant to Admiral Drennan of Joint Forces. . . " Harm trails off.  
  
"The brass wants more than just the locals in on it." Mac finishes for him.  
  
"Yep. My flight leaves at 1330 from Andrews."  
  
"Any idea how long you'll be gone?"  
  
"No clue, depends on how the case goes."  
  
"Are you sure you've got time to eat before your flight, Harm?"  
  
"I'm sure. I already went home and packed." Harm smiles at Mac.  
  
"Great." Mac smiles back.  
  
_Offutt AFB Runway 1  
1425 Hours CST  
10/04/2004_  
  
The Captain in charge of the Johnson investigation greeted Harm, Kate, Dinozzo and Gibbs.  
  
"Captain Sala. Anything new to tell us?" Harm asks the MP.  
  
"Nope, we're still talking to the kid that was with Mike Johnson this morning but he hasn't given us anything new." The captain says regretfully.  
  
"How about a composite sketch?" Gibbs asks.  
  
"Don't have one yet. My sergeant that usually does the sketches is out on emergency leave. I asked the local PD to send me one but they're even crazier than we are right now."  
  
"What's more important than a missing kid?" This comment from Dinozzo.  
  
"A dead kid. Three weeks ago Tim Barnes disappearing while on his morning paper route. His body was found in a field 4 days ago."   
  
"Any chance the two cases are related?" Gibbs asks.  
  
"I don't know." Sala responds.  
  
"Is anybody looking at the possibility?" Harm asks in a deceptively calm voice.  
  
"Not yet, but I was trying to get someone from Bellevue PD down here." Sala tells the team rather sheepishly.  
  
"Okay, what do you think of this Gibbs? Sala and I will go talk to the local cops. You can go to the crime scene. Todd goes to talk to the witness to try and get a composite drawn." Harm looks over at Gibbs waiting for a reaction.  
  
"Sounds good."   
  
"I'm not a sketch artist!" Todd interjects.  
  
"Not formally trained, but you are an artist, and you are good with kids. I'd do it but all I can draw are airplanes and stick figures. I don't think that'll help much." Harm shoots back.  
  
"He's right, Kate." Gibbs tells her.  
  
"Okay, I'll give it a shot."   
  
The team splits up and heads for their various assignments with plans to meet later at the VOQ.  
  
_Offutt AFB VOQ  
Commander Harmon Rabb's room  
1755 Hours  
10/04/2004_  
  
"Feels strange to be staying in a VOQ." Dinozzo says as he enters the room and helps himself to some pizza.  
  
"Well there are motels near the family housing area but they are of the rent by the hour variety. I didn't think anyone would want to go that route." Harm responds.  
  
"Thank you for that." Kate shudders at the thought.  
  
"You're welcome." Harm smiles.   
  
"Can we get back to the case?" Gibbs grumbles.  
  
"Sure." Everyone agrees.  
  
"What did you find out Rabb?" Gibbs questions.  
  
"Thirteen year old Tim Barnes disappeared while on his Saturday morning paper route. He'd had the route for a year. He left the house at 0530 as usual. Customers started calling around 0800 to report they hadn't gotten their paper. His mom went out and found his bike and the papers in a field near the house. She called the authorities, who started a search. The body was found in a field at 108th and Giles Road on the first." Rabb reported.  
  
"Cause of death?" Gibbs asks.  
  
"He bled out. He'd been stabbed and sliced repeatedly. The coroner can only estimate the number of wounds but none were deep enough to cause death. There are no witnesses and at this point no real suspects. What have you got, Gibbs?"  
  
"Mark Johnson has been at Offutt for 4 years. Started out as an assistant to the assistant. He was a pilot during the Gulf War and his financials are clean so far. No known enemies, or strange associations, but Abby's going to continue digging." Dinozzo reported for the duo.   
  
"Okay, doesn't sound like there's much there. What did you get, Kate?"   
  
"The kid is extremely solid on his story of what happened. I was able to get what I feel is a fairly decent composite sketch."   
  
"Why just fairly decent if the kid was so solid on his story." Gibbs wants to know.  
  
"Because, Gibbs, we are talking about a 12 year old. Would you want to find a suspect based solely on information from 12 year old?"  
  
Gibbs, Dinozzo, and Harm all look at each other for a minute.  
  
"She's got a point." Harm says.  
  
"She most certainly does." Gibbs agrees.  
  
The group finished their dinner and planned the next steps in their investigation. Once they were done they headed off to get some sleep, Harm stopping to call Mac first.  
  
_Offutt AFB Recreation Facility  
1730 Hours  
10/12/2004_  
  
Harm continued going over the case in his head as he began his 5th lap around the mile long track. Over a week later, and they still had nothing. Both Harm and Gibbs' instincts were that the child's disappearance wasn't related to his father's job. Mike was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.  
  
Halfway through the lap, Harm still hadn't come up with any insights. The team was still stuck in Nebraska because they couldn't prove that Mike's disappearance wasn't related to his father's job. Well, they could prove it to the satisfaction of everyone but some politicos in D.C. that saw a terrorist plot behind every corner.  
  
As Harm started his 6th lap around the track he gave up on trying to gain new insight into the case. He needed to concentrate on his form. The building he was in was an old aircraft hangar which meant that while the track was long it could be very hard on the knees, making correct form very important.  
  
"Rabb!"  
  
Harm turned around to see Dinozzo coming towards him. He dropped to a walked and headed towards him.  
  
"What's up?" Harm knew Dinozzo wasn't in the building to work out.  
  
"A couple of hunters found a body in a field at 42nd and Highway 370. Preliminary id is that it's Mike. Sarpy County Deputies are expecting us." Dinozzo said in a rush.  
  
"Give me 15 minutes." Harm responded as he headed towards the locker room.  
  
"Gibbs says we're leaving in 10." Dinozzo shouted at his back.  
  
Harm was showered, changed and in the car in 6 and ½ minutes. Of course it helped that when he worked with NCIS he didn't have to wear his uniform.  
  
"I'm impressed. I didn't think you could be ready in 10 minutes, never mind less than." Gibbs remarked as the car headed towards the site.  
  
"One of the first things you learn at the academy is how to get ready as fast as possible. It allows more time for sleep. I can be showered and in full uniform in 11 minutes." Harm shot back.  
  
The rest of the drive was accomplished in silence. It only took a few moments to confirm that the body was that of Mike Johnson and that the cause of death was similiar to that of Tim Barnes. All of the investigators agreed that it was probably dumb luck that the body was found this early. The hunters in question were only in that field because their annual Canadian trip had been canceled due to weather.  
  
Within an hour the NCIS team was on their way back to base. Since this wasn't their home turf there wasn't a lot they could do to help, so they decided to get out of the way. Once back at the VOQ Gibbs headed off to report to the director, while Harm called home.   
  
He figured talking to the kids would be the best medicine for his mood right now.  
  
_Andrews AFB  
1200 Hours  
10/16/2004_  
  
Harm stepped off the plane relieved to be home. The local police had arrested both boys' killer the day before. Again it was dumb luck that solved the case. A young airman from the base had been arrested for suspicion of attempting to kidnap a local preschool teacher. During a police interview he spontaneously confessed to the murder of both boys.  
  
The local cops were handling the case. The brass at the base had decided that it was best for the local's to deal with it. The base had an extremely good relationship with the community and wanted to keep it that way. To further assist in this endeavor, Airman John James was discharged from the service a mere 25 hours after his confession.  
  
James planned on pleading guilty in hope of avoiding the death penalty. Harm hoped it didn't work. Nebraska's method of execution, the electric chair, seemed like a fitting penalty for the child killer.  
  
"Harm!"   
  
Harm was jolted out of his thoughts by the sound of Mac's voice. He looked around and found Mac, Mattie, and the boys waiting just beyond the flight line. He was at their side in three steps and scooped Mac up in a huge hug.  
  
"Hey, Mac. I'm glad you didn't wear your uniform."  
  
"Thought you might be." Mac said right before Harm's head swooped down for a long, loving kiss.  
  
"Uncle Harm!" AJ tried to hug Harm but only succeeded in hugging his knee.  
  
Harm broke the kiss and with a look that told Mac they'd continue later bent down and picked up AJ.  
  
"Hi, AJ. Were you good for Aunt Mac?"  
  
"Yep." AJ said convincingly while Mattie just raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Yes, you were pretty good while Uncle Harm was gone." Mac interjected before Mattie could say anything.  
  
"So what are you all doing here?" Harm asked.  
  
"We knew you'd had a hard case and thought we'd meet you and take you out to lunch." Mattie told him after she finished moving Jimmy to her other hip.  
  
"Sounds like a wonderful plan. Let's go." Harm motioned with his hands waiting for Mac to take the lead. He followed behind, holding AJ's hand and oh so glad to be coming home to a family.  
  
**A/N: The basic outline for the case comes from the case of John J. Joubert. Joubert was executed in the electric chair in 1996 for the 1983 murders of Danny Eberle and Christopher Walden. The really case took longer to solve and the communities around Offutt were terrified until the killer was caught. The case was also solved pretty much like the one here. Joubert confessed while being questioned about his attempt to kidnap a local preschool teacher. Considering the teacher was in her early 20s and of course female, the police had no reason to think the cases were connected.**


	39. part 42

**A/N: This isn't really a chapter it's what AJ was up to while Harm was in Nebraska**

**About Part 41. Joubert was convicted of killing Christopher Walden, not sure why I typed Martin.**

**Jimmy is about 16 months old at this point in the story.**

Since my beta is currently out of town this was beta'd by WordPerfect 10 Grammatik, which I'm sure isn't nearly as cool as Carol's MS Office Kitty!

_JAG Headquarters_

_0946 Hours_

_10/06/2004_

Mac hurried into the bullpen hoping to make it to her office before the Admiral noticed how late she was. She wasn't that lucky.

"Colonel Mackenzie." The admiral called out.

Mac froze and came to attention. "Yes, sir."

"In my office, Colonel."

Mac followed the admiral in his office and stood at attention waiting for him to speak.

"Weren't you supposed to be in court at 0900?" The admiral asked.

"Yes, sir. I called Captain Sebring and explained why I would be late. He said he'd pass the information on since I had my hands full." Mac answered.

"He called and said you'd be late. He also said he couldn't explain why without laughing. So would you care to explain why?"

Not really Mac thought but knew she didn't have a choice.

"Yes, sir. AJ was trying to help out this morning. He changed Jimmy diaper for me. Well actually he didn't change the diaper. He took Jimmy's diaper off. He then put it down the garbage disposal."

The admiral's eyebrows shot up. "He did what?"

"He put it down the garbage disposal. Said he thought it would smell better in than when we just leave them in the trash."

"Was he right?" The admiral asked.

"Not really, the diaper was only 1/3 of the way in when the garbage disposal broke and started smoking." Mac responded dryly.

"I can see why Sebring found it funny. Dismissed."

"Yes, sir."

Mac thought she could hear the admiral chuckling as she left the office.

It was going to be a long day.

_Harm and Mac's house_

_0831 Hours_

_10/09/2004_

Mac rolled over in bed and opened her eyes. She hadn't slept well, which was unusual for her since she'd become part of this little family. After taking a moment to reset her internal clock Mac sat up with a start.

The boys never let her sleep this late on a Saturday! Not only that but Mattie had spent the night at her dad's! Jumping from bed, Mac snatched up her robe and headed down the stairs.

Mac found Jimmy and AJ in the family room watching Cartoon Network.

"Do you boys want breakfast?" Mac asked from the doorway.

"We already had breakfast. I made it." AJ told her proudly before going back to watching cartoons while petting the dog.

Mac turned and headed to the kitchen with some trepidation. When she arrived, the kitchen didn't look too bad. Apparently Roo had also had breakfast as the dog food had been opened and quite a bit spilled on the floor in an attempt to fill the food bowl.

Cereal bowls were placed next to the sink. Mac could tell that they had Fruit Loops for breakfast but one thing bothered her, there was no milk left in the bowls.

Mac decided to ask AJ about that before fixing her own breakfast.

"AJ!"

"Yes, Aunt Mac!"

"Did you and Jimmy put milk on your cereal?"

"NO! I couldn't lift it so we used water."

For the first time Mac could remember she lost her appetite.

_Harm and Mac's house_

_1621 Hours_

_10/10/2004_

"Hey Mac! You need to come here right now!" Mattie yelled at the top of her voice.

Mac came flying down the stairs.

"What's wrong, Mattie?"

"Listen to this, we might need to know what country AJ called." Mattie handed the phone to Mac.

Mac listened to the phone for a minute before asking a question in Russian. She got a quick answer and hung up the phone after apologizing for her godson. She then sat down and pinched the bridge of her nose trying to relieve the tension headache that was quickly developing.

"Any idea why AJ called Romania?"

"I think he was trying to call the number that Harm left for the VOQ, not sure how he ended up calling Romania. He brought the phone to me in the kitchen when he couldn't understand what the lady was saying." Mattie responded.

"When Harm gets back, I'm leaving town." Mac told Mattie with a wry grin.

Mattie just laughed, "Looking forward to going back to work tomorrow?"

"Yes!"

Mattie laughed.

"Not funny, by the way, we're ordering out for dinner. I have no desire to cook after this weekend."

Mattie just laughed harder.


	40. 43

**A/N: Considering the fact I eloped (twice) I have no freaking clue what's involved in planning a wedding. (Now planning a divorce, that's an entirely different subject!)  
  
The 'who died' line is borrowed from an absolutely wonderful Harry Potter fic that can be found at _It's a great story but it's not for kids!!_  
  
Thanks to everyone for all the wonderful feedback!**

_NCIS Headquarters  
1105 Hours  
10/26/2004_  
  
"Dinozzo, What the hell is this?" Harm's yell could be heard by Abby, Ducky and Dinozzo before Harm was completely in the room.  
  
"An application for a search warrant." Harm could almost hear the 'DUH' in Dinozzo's response.  
  
"I know that. What I want to know is why didn't you get this to me before I went to JAG?" Harm snapped.  
  
"I didn't know you were going to JAG?" Dinozzo responded. "Look it's not a big deal it can wait until this afternoon or tomorrow morning." Dinozzo really had no clue what the problem was.  
  
"NO! You can go to JAG and get it taken care of." Harm shoved the papers back at Dinozzo.  
  
Dinozzo opened his mouth to argue, but thought better of it. He decided to get out of Abby's lair and go let Gibbs know he was heading to JAG.  
  
Harm started to leave, noticing he was being watched.  
  
"What did you want, Abby?"  
  
"Just wondering who died and made you Gibbs?"  
  
Harm looked up in shock. "Excuse me?"  
  
"She's got a point. You are rather Gibbs-like in your manner lately." Ducky informed Harm.  
  
"Meaning what?" Harm growled.  
  
Abby decided to take this as her cue to make herself scarce. If anybody could find out what was bothering Harm it would be Ducky.  
  
"Mac wants to set a date."  
  
"And you are having second thoughts about getting married?" Ducky questioned.  
  
"NO!" Harm looked shocked.  
  
"Then what's the problem?" Ducky asked, amused at Harm's reaction.  
  
"She wants to get married on either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day."  
  
"And this is a problem?" Ducky asked like he has no idea why getting married on Christmas would bother someone.  
  
"Yes!" Harm looked indignant at Ducky's lack of sympathy.  
  
"Let's look at this logically. Christmas is not your favorite time of the year, right?"  
  
"Right, but how do you know that?"  
  
"Simple, I remember reading that your dad was shot down on Christmas Eve. That would make any kid not like Christmas."  
  
"Okay, so?"  
  
"Christmas isn't something you enjoy. It's also when your friends died, correct?"  
  
Harm just shook his head yes to the question.  
  
"Is it possible that Sarah came up with these dates as a way to try and make Christmas a happier time for you and AJ? Thinking of Christmas as when your godparents married has got to be better than just thinking of it as when your parents died." Ducky said quietly.  
  
Harm just stared at him. It was pretty obvious to Ducky that the thought had never occurred to the Commander before this. For an intelligent man with degrees in engineering and law, Harmon Rabb could be pretty stupid at times.  
  
Eventually Harm shook his head and stood up.  
  
"Thanks, Ducky. If anybody is looking for me I went to JAG. I've got a marine I need to apologize to."  
  
"I'll let Gibbs know." Ducky told Harm's back.  
  
Harm just waved his thanks.  
  
_Mac's Office  
1303 Hours  
10/26/2004_  
  
Mac sat down at her desk with a sigh. Just what she needed, a client who was guilty. There were times when she much preferred prosecuting and this was one of those times. Of course it might be nice to get out of town for a couple of days. She'd suggested a date for the wedding and Harm had blown a gasket. She hadn't really expected him to readily accept the date, but she also hadn't expected a meltdown to rival one of Jimmy's.  
  
Knock, Knock!  
  
"Enter."  
  
The door opened and Harm stuck his head in. "Hey, marine."  
  
Mac frowned at him. He seemed almost friendly. He'd been a complete ass when she saw him earlier.  
  
"What did you need, Commander?"  
  
Harm winced. "Lunch."  
  
"I don't have time to go to lunch. I was just handed a new case and have to leave in the morning."  
  
"Then it's a good thing I brought lunch with me. I assumed I'd need a peace offering."  
  
Mac's eyes narrowed. "What did you bring?"  
  
"Beltway Burgers. I may be slow at times but I'm not a complete idiot." Harm dead panned.  
  
"Get in here." Mac laughed.  
  
Harm came in, shut the door and handed her the bag of food.  
  
"You really know how to make a peace offering. My favorite burger, large fries, and a large chocolate shake."  
  
"Well, I knew I needed to make it a good offering. I'm sorry I was such a jerk." Harm said.  
  
"You're forgiven. What do you say to getting married New Year's Eve?" Mac asked, figuring she should make a concession since Harm apologized.  
  
"Actually, I think we should get married on Christmas Eve."  
  
Mac set her food down and just stared at Harm.  
  
"Are you feeling okay?" Mac asked, feeling his forehead.  
  
"Yes, mom." Harm joked.  
  
"I thought you hated the idea of getting married during Christmas?"  
  
"I did until Ducky made me look at the idea from a different angle. Now I'm rapidly warming up to it." Harm told her.  
  
"Remind me to thank him when I get back." Mac mused.  
  
"Does this mean we're getting married Christmas Eve?" Harm questioned hopefully.  
  
"Yes it does, squid." Mac answered.  
  
"Great! So we can start planning tonight, right?"  
  
"Wrong. I've just been given the Porter case. I leave in the morning. I need to start planning strategy so that I can at least keep the case from being overturned on appeal."  
  
"Okay, so how long do you think you'll be gone?"  
  
"Less than a week. The guy is guilty as sin, I'm going to do my best to cut a deal." Mac told him.  
  
"Okay, I'll see what I can get done while you're gone." Harm informed her.  
  
"That sounds good." Mac told him. She fully expected him to get very little done. After all plan a wedding was a lot of work. In her experience, it was more work than most men wanted to deal with.  
  
_Harm and Mac's house  
2030 Hours  
10/29/2004_  
  
"I'm home!" Mac called as she opened the door.  
  
"We're up here!" Harm called back.  
  
Mac headed up the stairs and found Harm and Mattie in the bathroom drying off AJ and Jimmy and getting them ready for bed.  
  
"Aunt Mac!" AJ jumped up and came over to give her a hug with his brother trailing behind.  
  
"Hi, boys! I missed you!" Mac told them as she returned their hug.  
  
"What about me?" Harm asked with puppy dog eyes.  
  
"You too." Mac chuckled as she gave Harm a kiss.  
  
"There's some leftover pasta in the fridge. Why don't you go find some dinner while Mattie and I finish getting the boys to bed?"  
  
"Sounds good. I'm starving. Don't say it!" Mac shook her finger at Harm.  
  
"Did I say anything?" Harm asked.  
  
"No, but I could hear you thinking it from here." Mattie told him.  
  
Mac said goodnight to the boys and left the room still chuckling at Mattie's crack.  
  
Mac had just finished her dinner when Harm came into the room.  
  
"Hey! You want to come into the family room and I'll tell you what I got done on the wedding plans?" Harm asked her.  
  
"You did some planning?" Mac asked shocked.  
  
"Yes, I did some planning. I'll admit my mom helped some though." Harm told her.  
  
"Okay, I'd love to hear what you've got planned. What about Mattie?"  
  
"Oh, she's fine. She's IM'ing with a friend about the volleyball tournament this weekend. She's going to bed in a few since she has to be up by 0600."  
  
Harm and Mac headed into family room and had a seat on the couch.  
  
"Chaplain Turner has agreed to perform the ceremony. We were thinking of late afternoon or early evening. I've narrowed it down to two places for the ceremony. One is the church we go to on Christmas Eve and the other is the Fairmont. The advantage of the Fairmont is that we can also have the reception there. We've got 3 different invitations for you to choose from. Mom used her connections and has some sketches of wedding dresses that she's sending overnight for you to choose from."  
  
"Harm, the Fairmont would cost a fortune!" Mac was shocked.  
  
"Not really, because it would be a present from Mom and Frank. Of course so would the wedding at the church with the receptioit's not like we have any other relatives lining up to spoil us." n elsewhere."  
  
"They can't do that!"  
  
"Why not? They can afford it, they want to, and as Mom pointed out it's not like she has any other children lining up for her to spoil." Harm said matter of factly.  
  
"Okay, good point."  
  
"So, did I do good at getting things started?"  
  
"You did very good, but I don't want to talk about the wedding right now." Mac informed him as she leaned closer to him.  
  
"Okay, what do you want to talk about?"  
  
"I don't want to talk at all." Mac reached up to kiss Harm.  
  
"I think that can be arranged, but maybe we should go upstairs." Harm growled as he started to stand up.  
  
"Good idea." Mac said, accepting the hand Harm offered her.


	41. The End

**one plus one plus one plus two The Last Part.**

_**Well this will definitely be the end of this story. I'm sorry it took so long. Somewhere along the line, my muse went on life support. It's hard to write when you've quit reading 80 of the fanfics because you're tired of all that angst. (I think some authors in this fandom think there's only one genre, angst!) I also haven't been able to catch many episodes this season, though after reading the points to ponder and Pat's shipper moments I am interested in seeing the reruns. (Except for the one with Clay!) However, since it drives me nuts when authors leave stories unfinished I promised myself that I would beat an ending out of my muse at some point.**_

A refresher course can be found at

**Fairmont Hotel  
1455 Hours  
12/24/2004**

Mac sat thinking about how much her life had changed in the past year when the knock on the door shook her out of her reverie.

"Admiral."

"You ready?"

"Very. Is everyone in place?"

"We're just waiting on the bride." The admiral offered his hand to Mac and they proceeded to the ballroom that had been rented for the occasion.

The wedding had been surprisingly easy to plan, considering the problems they had agreeing to a date. They'd decided on an afternoon ceremony so that guests could still spend Christmas Eve with their families. Mac desperately wanted to keep the wedding small and simple. Harm wanted whatever Mac wanted. He knew she hadn't wanted the spectacle that Mic had planned and that her wedding to Chris hadn't been the kind of ceremony that little girls dream of, so he was determined that this time things would go her way.

They decided to have the ceremony and reception at the Fairmont Hotel. The Admiral was giving the bride away. Chaplain Turner agreed to perform the ceremony. Frank and Trish were the best man and maid of honor.

The decorations were simple, fresh Christmas greenery, white twinkle lights and of course, roses. It was almost like an outdoor wedding, minus the snow and wind chill, of course.

They decided against a military wedding. Harm was dressed in a simple, yet elegant tux and Mac was dressed in a plain off-white gown with a short train. Harm had to chuckle when he thought about the dress.

Mac had insisted that Harm go shopping with her for a dress. When Harm mentioned the tradition of the groom not seeing the dress before the wedding, her response was she'd tried that before and look how that worked out. Actually, to her way of think she'd tried that twice before because even though it had been a simple sundress, Chris hadn't seen it until the ceremony.

Therefore, Harm had gone shopping with Mac. It hadn't taken long. They'd gone to one store and she'd tried on one dress. She'd liked it. He'd liked it. He pointed out that they could look all day and not find anything they liked better so she'd bought it. The sales person had been stunned. Not to mention the poor mother whose daughter was trying on her 37th dress in the hunt for the perfect one.

At exactly 1500 hours, the Admiral placed Mac's hand in Harm's and shot him a look that said, "You hurt her and Matt O'Hara won't need to get out of Leavenworth to kill you. I'll do it for him." Harm just smiled in return. He was actually relieved to see the Admiral acting like her father, a few years ago; he'd thought AJ had other ideas about Mac.

The ceremony was simple and brief. By 1530 hours, they were man and wife. The moved across the room and formed a receiving line along with Mattie and the boys. They may not have planned a military wedding, but with Mac's internal clock, they couldn't help but have military precision.

The afternoon was spent dining, dancing, and laughing with friends and family. Trish, Frank, and Grandma Sarah were there and Matt O'Hara managed a phone call. He had a very good chance of being paroled in the spring, as long as he promised to stay out of D.C. and away from the monuments!

The wedding had been kept small but the guests still included; Tom Boone, Carolyn Imes, Skates, Jack Keeter, Jen Coates, Jason Tiner, Sturgis, and some friends from Mac's time in Bosnia Karen and Viv also managed to make the trip.

At 2000 hours, Mac escorted Harm upstairs to the room where they'd spend their wedding night.

"Get changed, Flyboy."

"Why? Are we going somewhere?" Harm was quite confused.

"Yes, I thought we'd go see your dad and then come back and say goodnight to everyone."

"Are you sure?" Harm wanted to see his dad but figured he should let the day be about them.

"Positive. Now go get ready." Mac pushed Harm in the direction of the bathroom, knowing if he changed in front of her, they'd never get anywhere. She also knew if Harm didn't go to the wall it would bother him the rest of the night, though he'd try hard not to let her know.

The visit to the wall accomplished Harm and Mac stopped back in the ballroom to say thank you to everyone for coming, tell the boys and Mattie goodnight, thank Frank and Trish for taking the boys, and make sure Mattie was still okay with staying with Tom.

It was 2200 hours when Harm unlocked the door to their suite.

"Think you can help me out of this outfit, Harm?"

"Certainly." Harm moved to Mac and giving her a bit of a grin, he bent to kiss her lips while unzipping her skirt.

"I love you Mrs. Rabb."

"That's good to know, since I love you too."

**The End  
**


End file.
